UPDATE Sunday: Due to the overwhelming number of entries this week (y’all are alien-CRAZY!), I’ve given the judge til Monday. Results hopefully by mid-morning Washington, DC time. Thank you!
Welcome to Friday! As always, it’s such a pleasure seeing y’all here, rarin’ to go. We’re heading sub-orbital with today’s prompt in honor of our judge, scifi lover Phil Coltrane, who may or may not still be speaking to me since I made him endure Shakespeare in his last round. Perhaps he’ll forgive me if I ask super sweetly?? With rocketships on top?
Even if I hadn’t tortured him that way, though, and determined to make up for it today, our prompt would still be quite cool. Today in 1965 the American spacecraft Gemini V touched down. The re-entry was conducted by computer in utter darkness, and somehow, incredibly, Captain Gordon Cooper realized the system had been misprogrammed. He manually corrected the error and saved their landing. Who needs a movie, when real life is so suspenseful?! Read more about this event here and here.
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Heading up the Flash! Friday celestial adventure today as judge is three-time dragon champ Phil Coltrane. He loves to be astonished by tales shot off in unexpected directions, crafted with bold, vivid language and hinting of richly complex worlds beyond what’s shown. Read more about his ideals here.
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Awards Ceremony: Results will post Sunday. Noteworthy #SixtySeconds interviews with the previous week’s winner post Wednesdays. I (Rebekah) post my own unearthly writings sometimes on Tuesdays or Thursdays. And on Mondays, one of your own glorious stories may be featured at the very fun #Flashpoints.
Now, grab a joystick and let’s get to it!
* Word limit: 150 word story (10-word leeway) based on the photo prompt.
* How: Post your story here in the comments. Include your word count (140 – 160 words, exclusive of title) and Twitter handle if you’ve got one. If you’re new, don’t forget to check the contest guidelines.
* Deadline: 11:59pm ET tonight (check the world clock if you need to; Flash! Friday is on Washington, DC time)
* Winners: will post Sunday.
* Prize: The Flash! Friday e-dragon e-badge for your blog/wall, your own winner’s page here at FF, a 60-second interview next Wednesday, and your name flame-written on the Dragon Wall of Fame for posterity.
***Today’s Dragon’s Bidding (required element to incorporate somewhere in your story; does not need to be the exact word(s) unless instructed to do so, e.g. “include the name E.T”):
***Today’s Prompt:
Death of an Alien Operative
Agent Omega of the dry planet D’Steedry was reported dead, having perished in the line of duty.
He was assigned to reconoiter Earth in preparation for a full invasion. In order to make his entry stealthy, he entered the atmosphere by joining a primitive earth spaceship. Absorbing through the skin of the vessel, he adhered himself to the bottom of the pilot’s seat.
They passed through the outer atmosphere without incident, and then splashed down. It had been his plan to remain behind when the astronauts disembarked. He could ten begin his mission unnoticed. He did not expect any problems—his species was far superior and he was thoroughly briefed.
But it’s the little foxes that spoil the vines. None of the intelligence reports included the detail that seat cushions could be used as flotation devices in the event of a water landing.
Agent Omega drowned.
146 Words
@CharlesWShort
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Love the ending!
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Glad you liked it.
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Loved the playful, humorous tone and the ‘sad’ demise of agent omega!
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Glub, glub.
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Ha! Great idea! Agent Omega got his come ‘downannce’!
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Pride goes before a fall. Or in this case a drowning.
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What a fun start (though not for poor Agent Omega).
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Poor alien may not have been familiar with water, at least based on the name of his planet.
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Great ending!
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Thank you.
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Made me chuckle – Great work!
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Good. Glad you enjoyed it.
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Nice. I like the tone of the piece. It reads exactly like a report. And, of course, you have that great last line.
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Thank you.
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Loved this with the straight-forward report with the twist of humor at the end.
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Thank you.
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The Uninvited Survivor.
I had the symptoms, Jesus, I could feel it inside of me.
I could barely feel the frigid waters, or the sunlight above my head. My memory was dimming, trouble recalling my crew’s names. I grasped the raft as two other survivors swam towards me, something deep tensed my body with anxiety.
The rescue ship moved closer, a clock ticking.
Others on the crew hadn’t been in the medical ward before we tried to contain the being. They were ignorant of its ability — of its intelligence. Before we escaped two hundred miles up, the creature somehow latched itself to me, securing its seat.
Looking at my jagged semblance in the ocean, I wondered, if I drowned myself, would that kill it? Would my body allow me? Let alone the parasite inside me? I had to try.
I focused hard to remember my family once more, before figuring out how to convince my crew to hold me under water.
158 Words
@cylemmulo
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As you commented on another story, I loved the ending. Chilling but with an admirable bravery on the part of the protagonist.
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I loved how this opens with the MC having trouble with memory, the coming back to the MC trying to remember family in that last tragic moment. Added weight to the tragedy.
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Great opener. And what a fantastic ending.
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A chilling take on the prompt. Nice piece.
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Ooh, what a start and WHAT a finish!
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I loved the voice of the protagonist as he makes his fateful decision. Very tense and well written story.
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The tone of this piece is captivating.
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You captured the tragedy so well in those small details – fading memory, loss of self, and that final act of bravery.
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I thought this was a great story – perfect voice and a brilliant ending.
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I got chills from that opening line, and I love how your protagonist needs to enlist help to defeat the parasite.
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All the comments are extremely appreciated. It makes any work I had to do more than worth it!
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Attack of the little orange rubber dinghy men
Ian Martyn (@IBMartyn)
148 words
‘Hey, Joe, is this it?’
‘You just watch that one and keep a tight hold. They may not look much but when they attack as a mob…’
‘Not look much? We were expecting little green men with ray guns and all that. And what do we get? Aliens that look like rubber rafts. That’s not exactly going to play well on the TV. “ATTENTION ALL EARTH, the planet is under attack from the little orange rubber dinghy men”’
‘You can laugh but, if I wasn’t sitting on this one it’d have you. I’m not kidding, you’ve no idea how aggressive these things can be.’
‘Well it seems pretty docile to me.’
‘They’re cunning. They do that, lie still, then before you know it you’ve got a hundred pounds of angry rubber all over you.’
‘Wait, mine’s trying to say something…’
‘Gryytch, crythyn, arghh, ta..ke me t..o you…r le..ad..er.’
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Very funny and a complete sidestep by focusing on the dinghy. Well done.
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Shame I can’t spell ‘dinghy’ though, thought it looked wrong. I wonder if our dragon host might correct for me.
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But of course!
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*wipes tears of laughter away* So good!
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Definitely gave me a smile!
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I love the idea of this disguise for an alien.
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Love this! A hundred pounds of angry rubber! Don’t have nightmares 😉
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This is awesome!
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This was really funny. I thought about the raft, too, but couldn’t figure out how to make it work. Nicely done!
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Great take on the prompt, and what else could they say but that final perfect line?
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Insidious
160 words
Day 1: The nightmares came first, dark tendrils slipping into their dreams that left them shaking when they woke.
They joked about it later but their laughter was tinged with a layer of hysteria that they both tried to ignore.
Day 2: Mission control took longer to respond than usual but it was probably just a glitch, nothing to worry about.
Day 3: It was colder today like they’d drifted farther away from the sun…neither of them mentioned it.
Day 4: There were words that they both wanted to say but they forgot them as soon as they opened their mouths.
Day 5: It was cold and quiet and they both longed for home…they just couldn’t remember what home was.
Day 6: There were sounds again, strange guttural things that echoed in the silence but they felt no fear…they felt nothing at all.
Day 7: They had no name, they had nothing but purpose and soon they would have Earth.
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Oh wow, this is great. Thematically I made a similar post but I am admiring your style and structuring.
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I like the layout choice for the story, it works really great!
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Cool progression. It built the tension well. I especially liked Day 4.
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I like how the premise of the piece sneaks up on you, just like the title and the “creature” of the piece.
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Really like the structure, very well done
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Scarey. Reminds me a little of Alien. Really creepy.
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I really like the style of this post, listed like this. Kudos!
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Excellent match between title and story. This just kind of crept in under the skin and left an eerie, crawly feeling behind. Great work!
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Creepy! I love a good alien takeover tale, and this was great – I especially like the cold determination of day 7.
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EENY, MEENY, MINEY, MO
Brian S Creek
158 words
@BrianSCreek
The boat bounces across the choppy waves as we leave the rocket capsule bobbing in the waters behind us and head towards the USS Mason.
I sit across from the two astronauts, our pioneers of space and real American heroes. At least one of them is.
NASA received a garbled transmission and from what the eggheads can decipher it seems that one of our guys might not have come back from the moon. Which begs the question; why are there two guys sat across from me?
It’s hard to judge them. They still look shaken up from the landing as if they’d just been five times around Thunder Mountain.
As we close on the USS Mason time is running out. If a hostile extra-terrestrial is sharing my ride I need to know.
We hit a wave and the astronaut on the left is startled. I spot a tongue poke out that is not human.
Got you, you sonovabitch!
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Great job, I chuckled at the title after reading it, love the humor and wit of the writing style.
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Crisp voice, pitch-perfect tone for the tale. Confused for a second over the seeming anachronism of Thunder Mountain until I realized USS Mason wasn’t around during the Apollo landings and that this is a more recent expedition.
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That’s my fault. I was so busy checking the Gemini 5 history that I completely forgot to check Thunder Mountain.
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It totally works out, though, as a different mission. (Gemini only had two pilots anyway–hence the name.)
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I adore this scenario.
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I love the mention of Thunder Mountain 🙂 You’ve got me wondering a bit, though, whether the other astronaut actually made it back too.
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Love how you build the tension, then quickly undercut it with that obvious giveaway and triumphant closing line.
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Many thanks. The last two lines were the first thing I came up with and just built the story on getting to it.
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Hands Across the Sky
Re-entry was moments away, but Rick seemed troubled.
I glanced over. I couldn’t talk through my helmet, but of course Rick – or whatever his real name was – didn’t need one. His exoskeleton was better than anything we’d ever come up with.
He blinked, and lowered his orbs. I looked back at the bank of switches overhead. Everything seemed normal – except my co-pilot.
We’d worked hard to build trust with the Grac. Rick had been chosen to come back with me instead of Michael Bell, who’d stayed behind; ambassadors. Symbols of inter-species cooperation. Insterstellar peace.
Splashdown was imminent. We braced.
Seawater rushed in. I smelt my first Earth air in God knew how long. I lifted my face to the sun.
And something – something large – blocked it.
‘Welcome, Joe Ronson,’ a huge voice boomed. Grac. I looked up. The sky bristled with alien craft. I spun to face Rick, who blinked again.
‘You made Earth sound so good,’ he muttered, shrugging.
@SJOHart
160 words
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Ha! I liked the build up with the alien acting sheepish. “The sky bristled with alien craft”–delightful!
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Thanks! 🙂
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I like the premise – “one of yours for one of ours”. great suprise ending.
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Thank you. I’m glad you thought so! 🙂
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I really like the way you set this up, and the ending is great.
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Thanks so much. This one was huge fun to write.
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Really unexpected but believable surprise ending. I agree with necwrites about the fun contrast between the conquering Grac people and the sheepish ‘ambassador’.
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Thanks so much! 🙂
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This really builds a sense of a bigger tale, a bigger *world* behind it. Well done!
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Thanks!
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Thank you. I’m very glad you think so. 🙂
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You make this writing thing look effortless. I always feel I’m trying to iron out the lumps and bumps in mine, but yours are always so slick! Another great story.
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Good Lord… I don’t think I deserve praise like that! 🙂 You should see me in the midst of creating these ‘slick’ pieces… :D! Thank you.
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Love how Rick shrugged as if it was obvious he was going to double cross. Brilliant.
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Thanks. 🙂
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+666677778444
Hello, Earthling, we hope we find you well. Ever ended up missing your landing spot? Computer error you had to rectify manually? We have the solution.Today, Noitanod are offering you the opportunity to scrap your old spacecraft and, with help from our Finance Etc. Department, replace it with the latest in space travel. Safety is a priority for you and your family, we know, which is why our crafts have been fitted with new landing technology. We have agents in your area for a limited time only, so don’t miss out on keeping up with The Mars’s: Press 6 for an operator who will arrange for an agent to visit you today with the option of test flight. Or Press 6 for us to remove your holophone number from our records.
This is a limited offer, subject to intergalactic agreement. Failure to make payments may result in organ donations.
(151 words)
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Please, Dragonness, would you sort ‘Earthling’ for me! Chocolates by the bucketload!
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For an offer like that, you don’t have to ask twice!
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Great, original idea, i loved it! I need this for my car
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Thank you very much.
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Ha! Very cute premise. Well done.
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Love this idea!
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Hilarious and creative! Good stuff 🙂
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Haha – great approach. I never even thought of it. You must get way too many of those calls. You seem to know them by heart 🙂
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Brilliant! LOL! I like the 6 used twice!! So very funny Marie, so very funny!!!!
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I love the last line – reminds me of the movie ‘Repo Men’. 😀 Great voice, and a brilliantly left-field idea.
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🙂 Such a different take on the prompt!
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Thanks, guys. Really appreciate it.
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Genius. Your idea is so left field that you’ve circumnavigated the globe and ended up right field. Had to suppress laugh so as not to disturb co-workers.
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Thank you for that brilliant comment! You’ve made my day!
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Microbes
Van Demal
@van_demal
So strange, now that they’d got up there, to spend all that time looking down. Round and round they went as though afraid to stretch out into the darkness. It must be their simple way, to go so they can long to be home again. Perhaps it’s their size that limits them, their weight. Their gravity. But they are not pioneers. Not like us. We’d tracked this planet for so long, it’s inviting hue like a beacon.
Their vessel was an easy catch, stretched as we were like a web across their trajectory. Enveloped by the mass of our teeming millions it tumbled, down through the atmosphere and into the blue.
Joy unbound. To feel the warmth of that distant star’s radiation, to feel the lulling embrace of the great skin of blue, to find the building blocks we need for life – intelligent life. Already we are dividing, spreading, conquering. Soon this new world will be ours.
157 words
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Nice idea beautifully played out.
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Love the flow of language, spinning the story. What an ending!
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You’ve told us a remarkable amount in so few words; great flash piece.
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Great writing, Van.
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I like the idea of a web of sentient, connected microbes finding their way into a new home. Your style really helps build their sophistication.
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Excellently captures a vast, cold, alien intelligence and gives it a perfect voice.
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Some beautiful lines here. Love “lulling embrace of the great skin of blue.”
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Lysozymes
We landed on the alien’s face and the surface was water. Good job we brought the dinghy.
Grant slapped on his mask and dived into the murky depths. I got a flutter of worry: *we’ll never see Grant again*, but there was no stopping him. Me and Jake took readings. High sodium-count, lots of strange proteins, a few antibodies.
‘Lysozymes,’ said Jake, frowning.
Antibacteria? I got a flutter of worry: *this is acid, we are going to melt away*, but Jake seemed unfazed.
Grant returned. ‘This isn’t the surface,’ he gasped through a grin. ‘Follow me.’
He turned and swam. We shrugged and followed.
The water got shallower and tapered to a point. We emerged on a soft, dry plain and Grant pointed to the distance. A huge bulbous mound glistening in the light of the five suns and beneath it, more water.
‘Her eye,’ said Grant, triumphant. ‘She’s crying.’
Crying. I got a flutter of worry: *We’ve upset her*.
160 words
@DHartleyWriter
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Great job! It had a very mysterious science fiction feel to it, awesome work.
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This is just so great. Gave me a funny feeling – you must have hit my story-bone. What a wonderful idea. And that last line. Just fab,fab,fab.
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this is a good one, got to be placed or given an honorary mention…. its an amazing take on the picture prompt…. 🙂
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Delightful! I love it.
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That’s so cool! I really like the take on the picture and the bidding. Good job!
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So original. I love that she’s crying and the line, “We’ve upset her.”
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I love the whole mystery of the piece, the sense of cautious .exploration, and the last lines about killed me. Beautiful story.
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Amazing premise, brilliantly executed, leaves me desperate to know more of the story, both before and after.
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Thanks for all your kind words everyone. I had a lot of fun writing this piece 🙂
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Very clever. I love the idea of landing in the alien’s eye. Wonderful last line tying everything up.
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Can’t believe this slipped my net – a great piece. Lilliputian!
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The Apostle
@Making_Fiction
158 Words
My Holy Bible clasped firmly in hand. I will only release it when they prise it from the battered husk that carries me, for my bodily vessel will soon be soaked in the colour of martyrdom. I will be just another boat perished on these foreign coastlands; another messenger of God sacrificed at the hands of infidels.
As my trembling ship carried me across the treacherous swirling abyss, I know it was a one-way journey.
On this foreign shore, the cracked earth is more barren than the Dead Sea. The aliens mock my attire and await my first words.
I serve two gods. The god, the creator, the coder; my purpose to deliver my faith to the alien race. And, the god of triangles, squares, X and Y buttons, who has my life at his fingertips.
My missionary is almost complete. The armchair deity has chosen. I hold the bible aloft. My enemies poised.
I talk, “In the beginning…”
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Love the originality here and the idea of the God of square and triangle… So, so clever!
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…more ‘baron’ than the Red Sea – The spelling mistake is just perfect!! 🙂 Really enjoyed this clever story. Like the armchair deity.
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Sorry Mark – Dead sea! DOH!
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This is fantastic! “I serve two gods…” The creator and the armchair deity. What an awesome twist!
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Very original idea. Love the phrase “armchair diety”
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Great images here and the two gods idea is brilliant!
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love every line of this–beutifully written…two gods–and the soul in the machine? brilliant work
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I love the language here. The two gods. Excellent story.
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I agree with the others, the two gods and the armchair deity are clever elements of the story.
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Clever piece – well done, Mark! Love the language too.
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As others have mentioned, I love the originality of this piece. Nicely done.
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Wow! Mark is going from strength to strength, and this is a startling take on the prompt, beautifully written.
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Excellent piece. ‘armchair deity’ is a touch of genius. A really strong entry.
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Great imagery and a fascinating take on ‘mission’ work… loved it!
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‘There Are Others.’
David Shakes
@TheShakes72
160 words
Cold.
Intense cold.
It penetrates layers of suit and flesh to settle in the bones.
He cannot move , knows if he were to try his brittle limbs would snap.
The capsule fills with unnatural light then utter darkness.
Blink.
Eyes focus.
Where’s Conrad?
The cramped confines of the capsule gone. This place vast, indistinct.
He imagines a TV knocked slightly off dial – images form but ghost in and out of the static.
Pain.
Searing pain.
A figure emerges from the flickering light to place several fingers (are they fingers?) upon (in? Oh God they’re in!) his forehead. Images, memories and feelings cascade freely.
Someone’s really spinning that dial! He laughs. Screams.
‘Sir?’
Blink. Focus.
There’s Conrad.
‘… How is the computer at fault? How can you know? If you’re wrong we could ditch anywhere…’
He just knows.
His mind pregnant with the knowledge; with new ideas. With a plan.
Heat.
Intense heat.
Successful reentry to the human race.
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Out of this world writing style! (See what I did there?) Great sense of confusion from the protagonist, great lead up to the end. Great job!
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This is terrific writing. You are inside his head.
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This story grabs you and keeps you there. I can feel it Dave. I can feel it. Fantastic. 😉
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Loved the style. Halfway between poetry and prose. Very effective.
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Very good descriptions in this piece.
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Really like the structure, how the main character repeatedly drifts and comes to. The TV off dial image is fantastic.
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Amazing. You can really see and feel this–marvelous writing.
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I agree with lhedgecock2014, the TV off dial is a perfect way to illustrate his confusion and lack of focus. Great piece!
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Well done. The language here is really effective, great phrasing.
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Dig the abrupt sentences. Dig the mood. Dig the plot. Good stuff.
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Thanks Chris and all those above – really pleased with this so the positive comments tell me I am not nuts! Well, not that nuts at any rate!
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Stylish story! Reminded me of Philip K. Dick, somehow. I enjoyed this one very much.
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High praise indeed
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Love the structure, and the terrifying possibility that “his mind pregnant” could very well be taken literally.
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Thanks – that was a deliberate choice of phrase and I’m glad you picked up on it!
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Even when writing SF, Dave makes it truly horrifying. I could practically feel and see every moment in this one. Great work.
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Love the style here. So much story for the word budget, and the format makes it zing.
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Very dramatic. I read it out loud in a gritty Japanese accent and it sounded really cool.
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Sugar & Spice And All Things Nice – That’s What Little Girls Are Made Of
‘Dad, is that you in the picture?’ Liam’s upturned face would melt the heart of any parent, his eyes emulating polished obsidian.
Dad sighed, hoisting Liam onto his knee, his other hand grasped the framed picture.
‘No, Liam, you’ve forgotten already. This is you, on the left, see? Do you remember all the training, being blasted into the sky, the computer malfunctioning?’
Liam screwed up his face.
Once Liam remembered his teenage years, kicking up dust on his Dad’s old Harley, leathered girls riding pillion. But these days, he only remembers the toys he loves and the everlasting hope of ice-cream and sweets.
Dad squeezed him tight. He knew that by next week Liam would be a babbling baby again. In two months he would be gone. At least Liam wouldn’t have to go through the agony of growing old, well, that’s what you get for sleeping around with alien girls. You never know where the hell they’ve been.
@avalina_kreska
(160 words)
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Benjamin Button as a space born std? A funny punchline but I found the start of the story quite sad, thought we’d be moving to a poignant moment. Nice switchback!
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Who’s’ Benjamin Button?? 🙂 Thanks for your comments David.
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What a great twist on the prompt. Well done!
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Cheers Tamara!!
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Like your take on this! (Benjamin Button -the character lives backward in the movie.)
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Thanks Voimaoy! Now I see why they keep going to the toilet out of the movies… 😉
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Well done!
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Thanks for reading Rasha. 🙂
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I like this premise. You did a great job with it in only 160 words!
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Gee thanks J.R. I should have written the story backwards too. 🙂
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Ooh, how sad…great job to get it into 160!
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I suppose it was sad really. 🙂 Thanks very much!
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What a terrific twist. You slip in just enough poignancy then give us a great zing.
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Funny and sad at the same time. That first line made me a bit nervous about where it was going, the last line made me laugh, and the middle somewhere delivered that sad tone, realizing all that Liam had lost and how soon he would cease to exist. Amazing job pulling out all those emotions in such a short piece!
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Thanks for reading Wendy, thanks for your detailed feedback too.
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Great read – so much packed into only 160 words here.
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Great take on the picture – but how very sad for Dad!
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How did you manage to get intrigue, tragedy and laugh out loud comedy into 160 words? More magic? Excellent piece.
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Yes. Magic. Native island magic. Naked native island magic. Naked nat… oh never mind. POOF!!
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You did so much with this. I thought it was going to end with a touch of pathos, but the last line is funny. I think, though, you deliberately gave us just enough of the sad part of the tale for it to stay with us. The best of two worlds! Well done.
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Gosh, a bit late to say thank-you Marie – but Thank-you!!!
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It is sad, I agree. Not a good prospect there, but interesting twist to how it came to be so.
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Thank-you very much for reading and commenting Cindy. 🙂
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A Hero’s Welcome
Fuzz Baldwin, the hero of Alpha Centauri. That’s what they’ll call me, thought Captain Baldwin as he tumbled out of the capsule into the frigid waters. Darcy Kroeger splashed in behind him.
“Hey, Fuzz! We did it!” Darcy’s smile gave away his youthful exuberance. “I landed it perfectly.”
Clinging to the inflatable ring on the capsule, Fuzz grinned. “You know what they’ll say?”
Darcy nodded. “Yeah, that ace pilot Darcy Kroeger saved the day. Turning left around Proxima Centauri was the best decision of my life.”
“Left?” Fuzz’s mouth hung wide open when he heard the click. Oh no. He craned his neck to his right.
“What do we have here? A couple of pink ones.” Four eyes on a scaly head stared back at him. “Lost?”
“Darce, you idiot! Right! You were supposed to turn right around Proxima. This is Epsilon Eridani.”
“And you are tonight’s dinner, hero sandwiches.”
Jay Dee Archer
150 words exactly
@jaydeejapan
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Haha! Enjoyed the story The title is beautifully echoed in the ending. 🙂
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Thanks. I didn’t even plan that until I wrote the last line 🙂
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Nice one! 🙂 Wasn’t expecting where it went.
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THank you very much!
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Hero Sandwiches! PERFECTION! haha
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Makes me hungry. Thanks!
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Punchline!!!
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10 seconds of inspiration.
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Great ending. i love “hero sandwiches.” Terrific.
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Thank you!
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What a great punchline!
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It came to me in a moment of brilliance, which have since lost.
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🙂 Love the comic tone here, right from the very familiar sounding Captain’s name to that perfect punchline!
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I had to use a 60s era astronaut name. Buzz Aldrin, I mean Fuzz Baldwin sounded just right.
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Major Tom
(158 words)
I hover, peering through the glass, at the life and energy swirling below me. I cannot reach it. I’m no longer a part of that world, and yet I’m tethered to it. I feel alien, but I cannot leave.
A screech below me rips the air and my heart. Slamming my eyes shut, I cringe from the bright fire’s searching fingers. Blistering fear consumes me and I struggle to stay upright.
A flare of voices yanks me from the flames and I turn from my dusty view of the street below. I stare at the squawking television, at the images of a joyful homecoming that only serve to crush my soul further.
“Thomas,” I whimper, “how can those men blast into orbit in a tin can and return alive—and yet you can’t drive to the bank and back?”
With the force of a thousand lonely nights, my arm sweeps the television to the floor.
All goes black.
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Nice, vivid imagery, and I like the switch-up of first thinking we’re in space, and then we’re not.
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Thanks Margaret! Looking back over it, I think I should have been more clear that she was being pulled out of a daytime flashback brought on by the screech of brakes. I was trying too hard to keep it mysterious and space capsule re-entry-ish.
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Oh, this is so heart-wrenching. i love the way you contrast the image of the astronauts returning from space with the loss of Thomas. It’s so seamless and beautiful.
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I caught the hints of a flashback that gripped her, but couldn’t connect it with anything. Thanks for explaining that in the comments. Emotional imagery.
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Had to read this one three times – Twice to fully understand the trick you played on us, and once for the sheer enjoyment of it. Amazing work.
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Thanks for the kind words everyone. This is one of my first FF entries and I’m still trying to figure out what works. As soon as I posted, I started seeing parts that I wish I could change and clarify. Onwards!! 🙂
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Tamara Shoemaker
@TamaraShoemaker
Word count: 152
Chained
Their feet, through the inky blackness, taunt me as they kick through the liquid, their heads bobbing in the forbidden air far, far above. They, who hold the freedom of movement, of exploration, are our captors, the victors, casting no thought to the alien race of beings they subjected to the deep so long ago. The sounds of their laughter slice through the deep, flaunting their freedom before our jealous eyes.
They mock me and all my kind with their noisy intrusion into our world. They laugh while we weep eternal tears, groaning in anguish in our prison.
I, who am chained to the waters, who have never felt the breeze on my face, cannot fathom their levity. Repressed emotions shudder through the fibers of my being. Anger, envy, hatred.
Revenge.
I swim up, far up, toward their waving feet, hunger-fueled saliva mixing with inky ocean as I open my mouth wide.
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This is beautiful.
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I really enjoyed this one–a very creative take on the prompt! A bit mythical and a bit Harry Potter. (I kept thinking about Grindylows.)
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Doh. You caught me in my obsession with HP. I actually hadn’t thought of that when I posted this, but I’m delighted that it connects in some small way. 🙂
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Vivid, poetic imagery – but will you kill me if I admit this sounds like The Little Mermaid gone bad?? Love the switch up of being under water instead of in space.
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Ooh, I’m sending Ursula after you. 😉 Thanks for the compliment! 🙂
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oooh how fun and creepy! I will have increased lake/ocean-swiming phobia now. 😀
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Haha! Yes, I’ve already got a phobia of that (which explains from where the idea comes). I only swim in swimming pools where I can see my feet. 🙂 Thanks!
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Beautiful and creepy and also sad. Well done.
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Thanks, Sarah! 🙂
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I felt so bad for the chained life of the deep and wonder what led to their entrapment. As someone who loves to swim in the sea, this was a bit creepy 🙂
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Gorgeous prose, I’m a bit envious. Nice work.
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I appreciate that. Thanks for brightening my day! 🙂
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Great take on the prompt – What is more alien than the creatures living in the depths of our own seas? I’m terrified of the sea, and next time someone asks why, I will just show them this story.
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Thanks, Karl! Yes, I’m terrified to the sea, too. This little story is only a small slice of that fear… 🙂
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‘The Red Planet’
Jennifer Kane
JenniferLkane1@
159 words
An endless desert of red sand, that’s what we had every right to expect as we landed. When you’re expecting sand and hit ocean instead I guess you would have to consider it a crash.
We dragged out the emergency raft, the same one we’d made jokes about three months ago when we left earth for the first manned mission to Mars. The shuttle was sinking and even as we climbed into the inflated boat I could see dark shapes moving through the depths below us. I was terrified but didn’t bother voicing it, we all were. As we neared the small island in the distance we finally started to understand the full extent of our ignorance. The creatures waiting for us on the shore did not seem pleased by the aliens who had fallen into their waters. I never thought of myself as an alien before. I closed my eyes as they attacked. I barely felt the pain.
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Great twist! very unexpected
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Thanks I tried 🙂
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Really liked this, great build up to a sinister ending – the first paragraph is fab and the last line very, er, real.
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Glad you liked it 🙂 you made my day
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Great ending!
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Thank you!
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I love the detail that they’d made jokes about the raft!
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So glad you liked it 🙂
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Wonderful twist. Excellent, scary story.
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Thanks
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Thanks 🙂
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Funny how we never tend to think of the other perspective until we’re forced to face it. I like how they joked about the raft but never considered how they might be received otherwise.
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Great contrast between the almost jokey opening and the fatalistic acceptance of the closer.
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Tamara Shoemaker
@TamaraShoemaker
Word Count: 160
Pride Goeth Before Destruction
It had been Jack’s idea. An easy navigational twist, nothing too complicated. We were rocket scientists, certainly capable of a simple maneuver.
So our plunge into alien waters cooled our pride and landed us at the top of NASA’s naughty list.
Now Jack fiddles like an idiot with the broken navigational gear. “Grant, find me that scanner, would you?” Hope tinges his voice.
I shake my head stubbornly.
Jack shakes the water from his face. “What is with you, Grant? I’m trying to make the best of a bad situation.”
I eye my best friend, my roommate from NASA’s training school. We’ve been to the moon and back together; who else can say that?
“It’s no use, Jack. We’ve got bigger problems.”
“What?” He glances up, his eyes moving to the horizon where my finger points. The ship cuts through the water toward us, the flag on the side striking terror into our already over-stimulated minds.
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I’m not sure which of your stories to comment on!! This was very real, the two guys going through so much together now have to face some more… I enjoyed it.
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Awesome! Thanks. I was only going to write the one, but since I’m not a huge fan of sci-fi, the Dragoness challenged me to write on that didn’t involve alien creatures, but still met the requirements. This was my paltry effort. 🙂
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I object to the word “paltry.” Keep that up and you’ll be compelled to put a quarter in the Self-Deprecation Jar.
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*Puts on her properly chastened face* Since the tiny people in my house have taken my quarters, I’m fresh out, so I’ll retract “paltry”… this time at least. 😉
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@Tamara – a special dragoness mission? – wow you must be family or learning the trade!
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I have yet to perfect my fire-breathing techniques… 😉
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I noticed that ship, too, and wondered how it played in. Now I know! A realistically portrayed scene with great language.
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Thanks, Margaret! 🙂
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this one of your two I liked the best …. its one of my top choices for winner 🙂
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Wow, thanks, Stella! High praise indeed! I truly appreciate it! 🙂
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I like this relationship – “to the moon and back”, indeed!
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Terrific story. The two naughty guys are suddenly in deep, deep trouble. I think they’re in for a rough time of it. Really, really well done.
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Thanks, y’all! I’m so glad you enjoyed it. 🙂
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I like how you make the ship the ominous element in the story.
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Two for two this week – From the completely alien to the all too human, you capture both voices brilliantly, and I’m not sure which I like most. Great job!
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Thank you, Karl! What a nice compliment. 🙂
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@stellakateT
159 words
Postcards from Earth
Okay, it wasn’t the usual way to arrive on earth; we’d been doing it for millions of years without mishap. Didn’t the holiday brochures say ‘Have fun wherever you land, diverse climate, exotic food, challenging terrain’
It was Cousin Harvey that had suggested I went sight-seeing aboard the Gemini V. I played about with the re-entry system Georgia USSR sounded more interesting than Georgia USA, anyway I’d been to America twice before. The guys were great company so resisted the fresh meat and ate the flight pre-pack meals instead.
Hitting the water I nearly died of fright, didn’t my mother always say it was the Devil’s playground. Those frogmen did a great job saving us all, still a bit miffed about Gordon altering the destination, costing me more now to get back home. My holiday pics are sensational; if you look carefully you can see me bobbing about to the right of the good looking frogman. He looks tasty.
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Munch munch. Haha – Great story! They do get stuck in your teeth though don’t they Stella?
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What a great story! Delicious take on things.
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Alien must be Gaelic in origin, hence the interest in frogman’s legs!
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thank you all for your comments especially yours Shakes…. the Alien’s name is Jean-Claude he’s Belgian 🙂
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I love this take on futuristic travel.
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Haha, love the narrator’s voice here!
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Haha! I love the style of writing. Last two sentences cracked me up. =)
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Ha! Great, funny story. I like the bit about resisting the fresh meat and eating the pre-pack meals as well as having sensational holiday pics. Priceless.
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I adore how you made the picture prompt a travel pic. And the twist on good-looking.
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Clever idea and a great narrative voice. 🙂
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Great punchline Stella! I always love your characters’ voices, and this one is no exception.
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Can I enter another story then???? 🙂
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Avalina, this from the rules: “To qualify, your story (or stories–maximum of two per writer, please) must follow the prompt in whatever way required that week.” Have at it! 🙂
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I see. Thanks Tamara. Gosh, I’ve got one brain cell and a very sharp knife. Mmmmmm… 🙂
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Lol!
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Great story. Love how the capsule becomes a central character.
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Live Long and Prosper *** Judge’s Entry, just for silliness ***
Margaret Locke (@Margaret_Locke or margaretlocke.com)
157 words
“Did you get a load of the legs on her?”
“Yeah, quite the beauties. All six of them. And those eyes…”
“I know. Prettiest purple I’ve ever seen. Too bad there were three of them. Too distracting for me.”
“Didn’t seem to stop that captain guy. What was his name?”
“Kirk. I think he’d hit on anything from any species.”
“And that tall one with the pointy ears. What was up with him and that Prime Directive he kept talking about?”
“He told me I was highly illogical.”
“You ARE highly illogical. Who else would press all those buttons, just to see what they would do?”
“Are you kidding me? After seeing that Scotty guy–what did he call it?–’beam that alien up’?”
“You should be thanking him for that–that’s what got us back down here safely.”
“Should we tell the president?”
“Nah, he’s got enough on his hands still trying to convince everyone Roswell wasn’t real.”
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I am a big Star Trek fan, so I loved this! What fun. Great job!
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Thanks – I’m no sci-fi expert, so when one says sci-fi, a la our judge, I think “Star Trek”!
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I love it when an entire story unfolds in only dialogue. Nice ST references! Make me laugh. Excellent job, as always. 🙂
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This is the song that immediately came to mind, for anyone unacquainted with it!
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Now THAT is hilarious!
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I’m a ST fan, too, so I loved it! Especially, ‘Kirk , he’d hit anything from any species’!!!! Lol Good point!
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Hilarious.
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Love Star Trek and thought this was a funny but affectionate use of the characters and tropes.
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Thanks, David!
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Wonderful Margaret – The rest of us are lucky it’s a Judge’s Entry!
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LOL, Karl. Flattery will get you everywhere. I just had fun being silly.
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Under the Green
@EmilyJuneStreet
150 words
“Japanese researchers believe jellyfish are immortal,” Carson said as he activated the descent program. He often brought up random topics during stressful moments; he claimed it minimized errors.
“Ray Bradbury said aliens would look like jellyfish,” Thompson added.
“There’s no life on Kepler 62e,” Carmichael snapped.
“Point check!” Carson commanded.
We ran through the checks in silence. Atmospheric friction roared as we hurtled into gravity. Our heads slammed back, pinned by the force.
Splash! The landing dropped us into Kepler 62e’s sea. We performed our practiced evacuation with the finesse of dancers.
Carson checked his readings. “You may remove your helmets. Air comp sufficient.”
We bobbed in viper-green water. Carmichael scrambled into the inflating raft.
“What is that?” I pointed at a shape on the far horizon. A built shape.
“Holy Mother of—” Carmichael’s shout cut short as a glittering jellyfish tentacle garroted him, pulling him under the green.
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Nice one Emily. ‘Viper green sea’ was especially pleasing to me… As was the payoff! Read like a comic book… I could see the frames.
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What an ending. I can see that tentacle.
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Bradbury was right! Great work Emily.
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Thank you! I was going for a campy, comic book feel.
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The Landing
(151 words)
Gem5m? Where are you? Gem5m, do you copy? You have been off radar. You must have gone completely off course. The readings are haywire. Do you read me?
Gem5m, here. We read you loud and clear!
Thank, God. They can hear us! We have regained contact.
Very droll, Guys. Very human.
Gem5m, tell us what’s going on there. We’ll get you back on course as soon as possible.
Nice try, Guys, but the welcome party is already here.
Welcome party? Clarify, Gem5m.
Fun’s over, Guys! It’s been a long trip, and we’re looking forward to reacquainting ourselves with beer and gravity, so let’s officially CLEAR The Landing so the diving team, here, can do their job.
Listen carefully, Gem5m. There is no record of a landing on planet Earth. No landing team has been dispatched. You have not landed here. I repeat. You. Have. Not. Landed. Here.
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Great story. Great ending.
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Very clever, well written, and the terror mounts nicely in that staccato last line.
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Keeps you panickly engaged throughout – so the ending was somewhat shocking – very clever writing.
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Awesome ending!
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Thank you so much, everyone. I really appreciate it.
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Where Do We Start
(150 words)
“Suggest a course of action.”
“As we’ve always done of course.”
“There is nothing about this in the directive.”
“Sometimes I forget how green you are.”
“Do you now speak like them?”
“Careful mate, I wasn’t left here for nothing.”
“Just suggest a course of action.”
“Only if you ask nicely.”
“What?”
“Never mind. Let me tell you a story. Barely a cycle after we landed here, in what they call their one thousand and twelfth year, my partner and I were on a large vessel as part of a pioneer group of travelers…”
“All I ask for is a course of action, what is…?”
“Hush. Just listen. The controllers of the vessel crashed it in folly and my partner suggested a game.”
“What game?”
“We played who can eat the most humanoids? And I won. I ate a total of…”
“Enough. That’s all I need. Where do we start?”
@ifemmanuel
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I really like how the language differs between the newcomer and the more acclimatized traveller, fills in so many blanks.
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(JUDGE’S ENTRY JUST FOR FUN AND STUFF.)
SUNKEN HEAD
“Where’s the head?”
“It was right here…”
“Dammit, where’s the head? Do you have it?”
First Lieutenant Maxwell flails his hands around the life raft. He finds nothing.
“Oh my god…”
“Check the capsule!” the captain shouts. “It has to be here!”
“Sir, it’s not in the capsule. We moved it to the raft first thing.”
“Which raft? Which one? Check them all!” The captain’s voice is hoarse.
Arms and hands fly everywhere, searching the nooks and crannies of the squeaky inflatable rafts. The fact is, something that massive would be obvious. It would be a boulder pulling down on a flimsy piece of inflated rubber. No way to miss it.
It’s gone.
This realization settles on the heads of the crew, rendering them still in the calm ocean water. The rafts bob up and down, recovering from the frantic search.
The head settles in the sediment on the ocean floor. Its eyes open.
@betsystreeter
154 words w/o title
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Great story! I love the ending.
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Perfect!
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Cats in Space
@voimaoy
156 words
“Legend has it that the first of our people fell out of the sky, a bird with wings aflame. A boy he was, and beautiful. We shared our lives with him.
We have always been sailors’ familiars. Together we sailed under the stars.
We are the wondrous strange. We pass between the walls.
The second of our people was a tabby girl. Wild she was and beautiful, in the alleys of the cities of the night.
Why is it so hard to understand us? Why must we be contained? We have so much to teach you about gravity and doors.”
The cat people were complaining again. Now they were demanding more break time and black string. They were so difficult to work with. Schrodingers was the word Captain Garza used to describe them. Space aliens. Chaotic as the random decay of subatomic particles.
But there was no denying their talent for navigating the seas of quantum foam.
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Absolutely ADORE this! Every single line but especially the last. You really are the most talented puss ever. Brill.
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Fantastic Voima. Cats again. Could I please steal ‘we pass between the walls’ at some point?
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Thank you so much, Avalina! I was thinking of your island….
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Thank you so much Dave! You can have that one, if I can have the fingers passing through the forehead…
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‘We are the wondrous strange’ – you’ll fit in perfectly with us. 🙂
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You’ve made my day 🙂 Love what you did, a twist of the tale. Well-done!
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🙂 🙂 Thanks, glad you liked it.
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I love this. The cat people. “Chaotic as the random decay of subatomic particles.” Just wonderful.
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Thank you so much–so glad you enjoyed. 🙂
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Beautifully poetic language. Well done!
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Thank you so much! Love the effect of yours–mythic, menacing and poetic!
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Grabbed me from the opening paragraph and didn’t let go. Quite impressive.
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Thank you for reading—much admire what you did with yours–stories in the story. Beautifully done.
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Only Voima could weld cat mythologies to particle physics and make it sound like poetry. Wonderful.
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Thank you, Karl. High praise indeed.
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Mission Accomplished
‘You need to check the oxygen supply tank’
The voice in his head was becoming more invasive; hard to ignore.
‘Do it. Check the tank.’
Gordon sighed. ‘Fine,’ he thought. ‘I’ll do it.’
It was fortuitous advice; the heater element had failed and, unnoticed, would have been fatal.
As the craft plummeted toward the beckoning water below, it came to him again.
‘Don’t worry. Everyone will survive. They must; there’s work to do on Earth.’
It would be months before Gordon heard it again, but it came with force, repeatedly, throughout the night, giving orders, penetrating his brain. The doctor’s had some ‘syndrome’ name for it but they didn’t understand; he felt like it was taking him over, a malign coup of his sanity. And he had no choice but to submit.
***
On that sunny August day in 1945, they had searched Gemini V for Extra Terrestrial beings, but nobody thought to scan for the voice in his head
160 words
@_sarahmiles_
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Nicely done. I think you could actually expand this and start a story with the last sentence, “On that sunny August day…” and it could turn out really cool. I want to know why its there and why its in his head in particular and what it wants… Really enjoyed your take on the prompt!
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Cracking ending!
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I love the idea of a non-physical invasion, rogue thoughts directing sleeper agents while everyone else is blind to the cause.
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Thank you all, I really appreciate any feedback.
I like to take the prompt literally, research it and give it a twist. Not to everyone’s taste but keeps me happy!
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Maria
“I’m taking my citizenship test, soon,” she says, lifting a section of my wet hair and snipping off the ends.
“Maria, that’s great,” I reply
She smiles. “I know, but, I’m so nervous.”
“Is the test hard?” I ask.
Maria stops work for a moment. Our eyes connect in the mirror.
“Some tell me, ‘yes’. Some say, ‘no’. So, I don’t know.”
Passing around to the front of the chair, she lifts my chin with her hand. She sets to work on my bangs, using her razor-tool on them, the way I like, as she speaks.
“I’ll be the first in my family to become a citizen. My Uncle wanted to. He came across the Rio. On a raft, I think. Made it across okay, but was picked up right away.”
I keep my other questions to myself, and relax into the rhythmic snip, snip of Maria’s scissors.
@JamieRHersh
153 Words
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A great left of field use of the prompt. The dragon’s bidding still done. Fab.
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Thank you, David.
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Brilliant dialogue, enjoyable reading – I like the take on ‘alien’ – very innovative!
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Thank you, Avalina.
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This is totally different from all the others. I love it! Great take on the bidding.
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Thank you!
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Original and, I agree, the dialogue is great. I also like how you describe the simple movements taking place- it’s so subtle and yet gives us a great sense of the setting. It’s a great last line, too.
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Thank you, Marie.
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And there’s the *other* type of alien, the same one I went for – Great minds etc… 🙂 There’s so much to this one though – Maria’s steady working and measured responses, the narrator’s slightly distant tone, all suggesting a deep inequality between the two characters, which even citizenship is unlikely to make much of an impact on. Loved it.
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I am glad you appreciated my approach. Thank you for the feedback.
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Homecoming
The coordinates looked good. We braced for impact.
Water rushed past our little window and our pod slowed until she suddenly popped up again and floated. Amazing really, you fly through space at warp speed and end up bobbing on a lake.
‘Me first this time!’ I grabbed the flag and pushed the door open. Aaaaand…nobody there. ‘Hey, where’s the welcome party?’
‘Weird.’ Zack checked the display. ‘Everyone should be here -‘
‘I can see a boat! They’re coming!’ After months in a confined space with Zack, going home to a warm bath, a proper meal and a full-length bed was very appealing –
Something was very wrong. As the boat approached I saw deformed creatures with just four stumpy, inadequate limbs. A horrible accident, a chemical or nuclear spill? Their skins were burnt raw, ghastly shades of pink and brown; their tiny eyes seemed blind to me. I shivered, and ducked back down.
‘Zack, please reprogram. Toxic planet.’
Liz Hedgecock
@lizhedgecock
159 words
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Oh this made me so sad! Was not expecting a lost travelers kind of tale. Nicely written.
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This went from funny to kind of creepy and sad. Well done! I wasn’t expecting them to land in a toxic ocean.
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I hope they make it out in time… and I feel sorry for the ‘creatures’ on the toxic planet. Great ending.
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Brilliant turnabout at the end – loved the subtle descriptions of the human beings! Toxic planet for certain!
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Love their description of us and how it forces you to imagine everything they could be…
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Love the alien’s take on humans here. That description will linger. Great last line, “toxic planet.”
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The Alien Within
@geofflepard 160 words
Harry Hudson balanced on the edge of the life raft and looked at his fingers. He never ceased to be surprised how his nails grew while in space. Like something had taken over the growing process while out of gravity.
‘Penny for them?’ Steve Parsons couldn’t hide the huge grin. ‘You look like you don’t want to be here?’
Harry knew he should say something, about how great it was to be back on Earth, couldn’t wait to see his family.
‘First thing, right. It’s a beer, then a proper shit. Man, how good, eh? Normality.’
That was the problem. Normal was up there, in the pod, weightless, free of everything.
‘So what you going to do first?’
Harry looked at the shrinking re-entry pod as they floated away. It was like leaving home forever.
‘I’ll cut my nails.’ Harry held up his right hand.
‘Man, what’s happened to you? Like you’ve become an alien.’ Steve laughed.
Harry nodded. Exactly.
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Wham. That last line. Enjoyed the dialogue immensely a great moment and realisation shared. Very readable.
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Love the pacing of this and how the realisation grows.
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thank you
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YES. the growing realization–and the last line. Great story.
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The focus of the piece was fantastic, all that leading into the end I was very interested. Fantastic idea, and premise
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So sad and lovely. Harry’s slow-dawning realization that he’s become the alien is very powerful.
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A fine use of alien-in-one’s-own-home. I love the fixation on something so small as fingernails.
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Excellent ending. I loved how it came out of nowhere! Well done.
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Brilliantly executed – I think Steve’s description of the very human delights he’s planning makes an excellent contrast with Harry’s hollow desires.
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Civilisation’s Pillars
Some say civilisation’s pillars are submerged beneath the surface, depthless deep devastated, if you dive down, their particulars preserved in red rock and crumbling concentric canals, pure white ivory at the heart. Alien ancients of no place are held captive by the ocean’s sway; an isle overthrown, swallowed whole in silt slavery, their shattered city-soul secreted sunken beneath the host gulfs and eddies of a boundless continent. Thus did decline and chaotic corruption bring their just ends full circle in chastisement within one day and one night in the first fight. Now, year on year and with the turn of the tide the sea’s triumphant swell drowns out the ghosted warning whispers of the geographical fiction seeking to break their water bonds and rise towards liberation’s lights.
They dwell there still in rumoured existence under muddy subsidence, a semi-forgotten nation. One day they may make themselves heard by civilisation, so some say. They hope not to be doomed to failure.
(160 words)
@FallIntoFiction
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Beautiful, poetic, deep and rich. Loved ‘crumbling concentric canals’ & ‘silt slavery’
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Thanks very much, Dave! Appreciated.
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The title is as grand and foreboding as the story – beautiful, rich language –
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Thank you!
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Wonderful description–deep and ancient foreboding—love it!
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Thank you! Glad you liked it.
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Strikingly different, so rich and textured. Awestruck!
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Thanks very much, Karl. Really appreciated.
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Twins
By Rachael Dunlop
@RachaelDunlop
(160 words)
He only saw it for the merest of moments – his reflection, split in two by the curved glass, suddenly became four. He looked around the capsule. Everything appeared fractionally out of sync with itself. He felt untethered from himself as the Earth rolled past the window. Again.
Outside the capsule, the creature circled, bewildered. This looked like his universe, but was not. A twin universe. He must had slipped between the two. How else was he still alive, in this abyss? He was here, but not. Perhaps this craft would take him home. He clung to underside of the glass aperture, closed his eyes and prayed.
Inside, the astronaut programmed the computer for re-entry, unaware that his weight calculations were wrong, by the factor of one partly-existent alien. But he was aware of the sliding universes snapping back in to place, as the creature flared, so bright, and burnt to nothing in the friction-hot gases of an alien atmosphere.
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What a precious story! So simple yet strangely profound. Alien within alien. Wonderful storytelling in that last paragraph ending with a cremation.
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Great story. It works so well. Perfectly formed.
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Beautiful structuring.
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Terrific storytelling. I love the “sliding universes snapping back into place”. Wonderful images.
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Lovely read.
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The poor alien. I hope, somehow, he made it back to his own dimension. What a great story!
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Gorgeous. Beautiful use of language and a poignant take on a common idea this week.
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Incredible writing. ‘partly-existent’ alien’ is a great description. I love how elusive the worlds are.
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Oh! That poor little thing, frazzled out of partial existence before anyone even knew he was there. So well written, I really feel for him…
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Love the elegance of the language in this piece. Beautiful writing.
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Exquisite, and heartbreaking. Beautiful story.
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The Air Down Here
Three, two — we were about re-enter the atmosphere when Jeff suddenly squirmed.
“Abort!” Wes erupted.
“Too late!” Randy calmly engaged the thrusters. I kept my eyes peeled at the controls.
There were four of us. We were bound by not only duty, but also by a secret shame that we carried within our tarnished souls.
I remember the icy prick of water before the sky turned dark. The landing was miraculous from what I saw later on the television. I saw Randy’s eyes under his helmet, Jeff struggling to swim, and Wes and I clinging to the raft while the re-entry capsule sat motionless. I was stunned to see Dofja, the space alien, at the controls, barely visible to the naked eye. I understood Jeff’s edginess. Too late now!
Dofja had promised to release us in exchange for air. We were ashamed at our ineptitude, but we surrendered our spare O2 tanks. Apparently he meant the entire Earth Air.
@needanidplease
160 words
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LOL!! Hahahaa! Fab! Really enjoyed it. Great storytelling!
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Whoa! That’s a great story right there. The last line…so awesome!
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Great story. Love the ending!
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What an ending. Really enjoyed.
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Great ending!
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Great twist. Had to read it over, just to enjoy it again.
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Title: Xenoarchaeologists
Word count: 159
“Remember your training,” said Mink. “Aliens are delicate. We need to blend in to study them. We are not to reveal ourselves under any circumstance.” Captain Mink, Private Ingy, and Alien Specialist Djava buoyed in the water where the ship landed.
“Ingy! Stop squirming you will blow our cover!” ordered Mink. It took all of Ingy’s willpower to keep from fidgeting and checking his uniform. He tried to just focus on floating. “Ingy!” Mink shouted again. “Fix your face!” and Ingy wriggled to make himself blend in. He was so nervous. He didn’t understand how Mink and Djava were so calm.
“Captain,” said Djava, “The aliens call themselves ‘humans’ and they are approaching on that ‘boat’. And Ingy, it’s two ears total, not two per side.” Ingy retracted the excess ears into his body. He also retracted an extra pinky on his hand and was glad he was wearing gloves just as the “humans” pulled him aboard the ship.
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Such a light touch, really lovely humour – thoroughly enjoyed it, especially retracting the extra ears. LOL!
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I love your humor. Funny piece. Ingy is hilarious.
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Love the humor in this piece. Great characters!
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Love the line about the ears. Brilliant! Great tale.
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The ears made it for me – Poor Ingy, hope he doesn’t blow the whole mission!
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Love the humor here. Poor Ingy’s in for a rough time.
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Thanks, All, for your comments! And yes, I think Ingy is going to blow it. Not sure if the other would come back for him if he was captured though…
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Homecoming
Everyone who had money, the right connections, or drew the short straw had left for the colonies. No one cared about the moon or mars when there were other planets. When you could get away from the war.
Tattered family photos were stuck on the workshop’s walls. Faith wiped her hands on a greasy cloth.
“It should work now.”
Her grandson flipped the switch and the beacon started transmitting.
“They left us here on this planet and now that they want to return you’re playing them music to welcome them? You’re daft and they’re not worth my spit! They’re worse than the aliens.”
Faith fiddled with the switches to keep from hitting him.
“You know how we survived the war? My parents sold my brother to the colony mines. And they kept him there forty years.”
The music played louder.
“You look me in the eye and say he’s not worthy. You look him in the eye.”
Words: 157
http://www.hersenskim.blogspot.com
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Truly amazing what you convey in so few words. Wonderful story.
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Thanks Voima! I’m really glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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Research Topic: The Space Travel of Primitive Species on QW3491 (Working Title)
Three students watched on a screen as the pod descended into the ocean. Their scanners assessed the passengers’ vital signs and took footage of the smiling faces.
“So… they survived?”
“Yup.”
“That’s a shame. Someone dying would have made the data interesting. ”
“We weren’t supposed to mess with their instruments in the first place. You’re not supposed to intervene in societies, no matter how primitive. That’s the first thing we were taught. ”
“Relax. It was just a bit of fun. This. Is. A. Boring. Place. And we’re not even allowed to set foot on the planet in case they see us.”
“So… as long as they don’t see us…”
“Hey, I’m not getting dissected in their primitive labs.”
“Please, that’s a campus legend! Look, we just camp in the desert somewhere for a night or two. No one will know. If I don’t get out of this research centre I’m going to go crazy.”
“Fine. I’ll bring the field kit.”
Words: 160
http://www.hersenskim.blogspot.com
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I laughed at “campus legend”. Fun use of plot-through-dialogue. In the desert somewhere–ha! Roswell = extracurricular studies.
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Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it – and who can resist Roswell?
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Loved the contrast between the two pieces – such different stories born from the same prompts.
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Thanks Karl 🙂
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Splashdown
157 Words
@TinmanDoneBadly
We don’t speak Martian here at NASA. Anything more complex than five notes and we’re pretty baffled.
So when we got the message, with co-ordinates and then something that sounded like Swedish being coughed through bagpipes, we thought that they wanted to meet us.
The co-ordinates were at sea, so Halsworth and I were put in a dinghy to wait, and to offer them Mars Bars in greeting.
They hadn’t wanted to meet us. They’d been asking us to take the Ice Bucket Challenge.
Their giant bucket bounced us out of the dinghy like two kids on too tight a trampoline.
We were rescued by conspiracy theorists. They follow us everywhere, ever since Roswell didn’t happen.
The Martians have sent us the video and we feel that we now have a bond.
So we’re challenging the Klingons, launching our own huge ice-filled bucket to land at high speed on their planet.
We have a good feeling about this.
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Too funny. I love the ice bucket challenge.
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Haha! Very clever. It had me grinning the entire time. =)
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Classic Tinman – last line had me in stitches as did the ubiquitous ice bucket challenge. On a Sci-Fi note, Sir Patrick Stewart’s version is about my favourite!
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Bwah ha ha! Love the ice bucket challenge! And the line about the conspiracy theorists following everywhere ever since Roswell didn’t happen.
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Tinman does it again – Consistently the funniest flash writer around, and surely the only one who could see a 1960s news photo and think “ice bucket challenge!”
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“From the Frying Pan…”
“Coop. Coop! Come in Coop.” The radio was more static than signal, the result of the battle that had caused our ship to have trouble in the first place, but that wasn’t why I hadn’t heard Willie G’s first call. I eased my thumb over to the mic control as smoothly as I could.
“I’m here. Standby.”
“Standby? We’re in deep out here, if you didn’t know. We have to figure out how to get home pronto, and without guidance. Oh, and why the hell are you whispering? Houston got nuked, and it’s just us on the circuit, buddy.” I didn’t respond – it wasn’t safe. Not yet. The ship was in its thermal roll to keep from baking in the sun, and Willie wouldn’t be able to see what I could see for another thirty seconds.
But he at least had guns.
I hoped the thing that didn’t need a spacesuit and had twelve arms would wait that long.
159 words
@drmagoo
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Cool explanation for the Gemini problems. Great story.
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Thank you!
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Nice reveal at the end, and a great description of the alien.
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Re-entry
We re-enter in darkness, and it is terrifying. I close my eyes though it makes no difference to the shaking, and pray to something to land us safely. So far it’s always worked.
Then we battle the next layer, a belt of questions, cameras and mikes in the face. What did you see? What did you face? What did you eat? I have a short speech, delivered moving forward, which gets me through in around fifteen seconds.
And now the hardest part. Susan is always more or less the same, even if I’ve been away a couple of years. But the children – every time I return, they’ve changed. I need to relearn their language, their passions, their temperaments. Jess is a teenager now. She hates me for going, and she hates me for staying. She cries, she yells, she punches the wall.
In space, I can shoot hostility on sight.
At home, I have to understand, to forgive. To adjust.
Liz Hedgecock
@lizhedgecock
160 words
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I like the take on the prompt. The astronaut as alien. Well done.
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What a brilliant understanding of the ‘alien’ part of the prompt… I love this one. Well done!
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Poignant–often parents might feel alien plated for their teenagers, and how much more so if separated by years and space? You captured that splendidly and with great economy.
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Wow Liz, love how this unfolds and the emotions involved.
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Really enjoyed this one, a different, nuanced take on the prompt. Well done.
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How clever! ‘I need to relearn their language…’ So good.
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Love how you suggest the distance between your narrator and everything that surrounds him, leaving everyone nameless and faceless until we get to Susan; it makes the loss there so much greater.
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A Man’s Dream
Jim Bob never thought he would see solid ground again. Days were spent in the frozen green sea after his plane crash landed. Waves lifted him up with their huge arms and dropped him down on his head again and again. Dang it, this was supposed to be a vacation!
After days of floating, Jim Bob found himself effortlessly pulled to an island, as if by an underwater force field. He hoisted his ample body up onto the maroon sand beach and was immediately greeted by a voluptuous woman with shiny silver skin and a mane of pink hair. She held a shot of Grey Goose and offered it to him. She led him to a palace that could have only been built for him. ESPN on TV, cigars, a stocked bar and all the blow jobs a man could want. “I’m Gheha, and you’ve been captured by our She-Lord. All this is yours, but you must take us to your home and allow us to run things.”
No brainer?
Gretchen VanOstrand
@peacesong464
170 words
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Merciful Savior
160 words
@_HannahHeath
Eight days ago, the life pod had washed up on shore. No food or water, stranded on a forsaken island where the sand was hot but the ocean was hotter. He knew that aliens lived here.
But he could only think about Ada. Had his wife survived the crash? Those pods should’ve been built to fit two people.
He first saw it four days ago, nose-less and shriveled looking. Well, he thought he saw it. Maybe the heat had been teasing him.
Yesterday it had come closer. At least, if it was real it had come closer. But it vanished when he screamed.
Today he knew it was real. And he felt too weak to be afraid.
“I want to be with Ada,” he whimpered pathetically.
The alien, its huge eyes compassionate, simply nodded. It understood.
He felt its long fingers wrap around his neck and soon he couldn’t breathe. But he didn’t struggle. Soon he would be with Ada.
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360.98°
Mike was sitting at the breakfast table, motionless, his hand clamped around a cup of cold coffee, his eyes focussed on a distant point that didn’t exist. The cat had buried its head in Mike’s cereal bowl, happily lapping up the milk.
At Kennedy Space Center Akh, secret agent from 90377 Sedna and now a shapeshifted Mike, cleared more security levels than he cared to count. He was sent on a mission to prevent the safe return from Gemini V. They brought with them too much evidence, evidence that could expose the community of Sednaes on Earth.
Akh entered the control room, walked casually to Mike’s work station and logged into his computer. He made a change in the capsule’s descent program: he entered the rate of the Earth’s rotation as 360° per 24 hours instead of 360.98°. A change that would surely be considered a simple mistake. But a fatal one.
‘Stupid humans,’ Akh thought.
@bartvangoethem
156 words
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Cool story. Love the last line.
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Cool! I was wondering if someone was going to use the actual cause of the malfunction, and I like what you did with it.
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Really nice take on the dragon’s bidding. They’re already here!
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Nice! Love the cat and the cereal bowl.
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Love the image of the frozen Mike, and a great explanation of the malfunction. Well done!
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Chuck and Nick’s module hurtled through the diaphanous upper atmosphere like a hot knife through butter. As the craft encountered thicker air, the shaking began in earnest. All vision blurred. Closing their eyes shut out the light but the noise described the raucous shuddering better than any words
From the sharp braking of their vehicle to reaching the calm blue of the upper atmosphere had taken little over two minutes, but each bone-rattling second had stretched that to hours.The parachute deployment jolted both astronauts to marvel at their big blue marble.
Thunk! their transition from horizontal flight to gentle heave and sway of the ocean complete, both men took it all in anew, like space tourists imbibing a new world’s atmosphere.
Suddenly a huge ship surged into view; the rescue boat splashed down. Before long two frog-men popped up beside them. Flipping off his mouthpiece the first demanded “Where’s your passports…?”
153 Worms
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Great descriptive writing. Love- ‘to marvel at their big blue marble’ and ‘the noisedescribed…better than any words’.
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Incoming
“South, eleven o’clock.’ Tex whispers, his binoculars trained across the yellow earth towards the border.
A bead of sweat drops from Pete’s chin, hitting the arid surface. Pete ignores the discomfort of the sun, calmly focusing on Tex’s prompt.
‘Look at him go! One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind,’ Tex snickers.
’He got that wrong y’know?’
‘Who?’
‘Armstrong, really screwed the pooch, pardon my french. Should’ve said, small step for a man.’
‘Yeah like he’s bothered what you think! Focus, rabbit’s bolting for home.’
Pete readjusted the sight, training his rifle on the man trampling through the brittle undergrowth. By the look of him he’d been walking for days, dirt crusted on bruised skin. He zoomed in, inspecting the face. A missing tooth, a dragon tattooed neck.
Crosshair hovering over a blue eye.
‘When your ready partner, take him to the moon.’
Pete’s slipped the safety, finger on trigger.
‘One … small … step …’
159 words
@imageronin
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Chilling. Really chilling.
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Real strong stuff.
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Ouch. A sinister take on that quote. (Weird serendipity that my grammar-geek friends and I were just talking about this!)
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Brilliant. Shades of Capricorn 1 for me?
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Really good story…. Love the twist
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Oh man, purely brutal take on the prompt, and the casual tone of the conversation is so chilling.
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“Passengers”
by Michael Seese
160 words
The two grown men splashed like giddy boys at summer camp. They would hold onto this memory, that of cool water.
“After six months on that barren rock, this is a dream come true!”
“Lieutenant, you and I just lived the dream of every American.”
But dreams sometimes can go astray…
“The first men to walk on Mars. I think that merits the cover of Newsweek.”
“Personally, I think it merits a date with a centerfold. Don’t tell my wife I said that.”
“Need to know basis, Colonel. Speaking of ‘the equipment,’ thank God the recovery ship is here. I need to GO!”
“You have permission to evacuate your bladder, Lieutenant. I don’t think the ocean will mind.”
Had he known Lt. Gage’s blood was teeming with an alien microbe that would voraciously consume the planet’s water, Col. Hart might not have been so cavalier with his assessment, sparing Mother Earth the fate suffered long ago by her red sister.
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Great twist ending. Nice idea with the alien microbe. 🙂
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I like the parallel with an ancient thriving Mars.
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Great premise Michael – expertly played out. I liked the jokey relief and banter before the chilling end.
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Great story. I love the twist, and the connection to Mars.So much tale in a tight budget.
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To Boldly Go…
Eli had always dreamt of being an astronaut, kept a scrapbook of faded newspaper cuttings under his mattress, and his mind escaped there as he clung to the raft, matchstalk legs kicking feebly at the current.
His toes were dead, but he refused to reach down, to discover if the numbness was occasioned by cold or teeth. Instead, he was content simply to swim, imagining that the shrieking seabird wheeling overhead was a rescue helicopter. It blocked out the remorseless sun, swooping to strike at the body lying still in the centre of the raft, but Eli no longer shrieked back or tried to stop it. He just paddled onwards, talking to mission control, his co-pilot on the raft and all the folks back home in TV Land.
And when the helicopter did arrive, he didn’t see the rifles and hatred and Immigration badges, just smiles and cameras.
He waved, proud of his journey, and waited for his hero’s welcome.
160 words
@Karl_A_Russell
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I liked your piece. An original and thought-provoking take, the alien as an immigrant.
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Terrific take on the prompt. I can see Eli with his matchstick legs. Really powerful.
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You captured the struggles and endurance in so few words. And this one crushed a little corner of my soul.
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Heartbreaking.
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Great imagery and clever sleight-of-hand in your usage of alien.
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Thank you everyone!
(Is it wrong to be proud that I’ve crushed a bit of someone’s soul? Because I *totally* am…)
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A very brave story. Yes, heartbreaking.
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Let’s Make This Believable
It’s funny what the public will believe. With some well-trained actors, a crew of hundreds, some hard work, and just tens of millions of dollars for a sound stage, lighting, costumes, makeup, a few well-painted pieces of “equipment,” cameras, and a large tank of water, one can easily create decades of intense gullibility. Sure, a few might ask questions one day, but that was hardly the concern of those running the NASA film studio.
“Let’s make this believable, Boys,” the director shouted from his cloth-draped chair. He knew that he was special because his chair said, “Director” on it.
“This is entirely uncomfortable,” retorted Bob Billings as he bobbed up and down in the water.
“The best stuff always is,” answered the director with a smirk. “Now, pretend you buy that ship in the background and all those clouds painted behind you.”
“Are we getting paid scale for this,” demanded another actor.
“Don’t make me laugh” was all he heard.
160 words
@authorjwallace
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This is both very funny and super cool! Lot’s of great lines. “He knew that he was special because his chair said, “Director” on it.” Hilarious!
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Thank you. 🙂 I was going to do the standard drama that everybody would expect, something typical about space exploration failure, but I thought that this would be different enough to stand out.
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Lol. Liked: ‘…one can easily create decades of intense gullibility’ nice idea, reminded me of the Truman Show in many ways.
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Thank you. Glad you liked it. I didn’t see your comment until just now. 🙂
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The Alien
‘Officer!’
‘Yes, Captain?’
‘Are we going to tell them what we saw?’
‘Sir?’
‘What really happened?’
‘Of course, sir. The information is recorded in the log books and databases.’
‘I mean who we saw: the alien.’
‘We didn’t see anyone, sir. It was just you and me on board the spaceship for eight days and eight nights. It was a boring, routine, flight.’
‘But you saw her, too!’
‘No, sir. I saw no one.’
‘But it’s thanks to her that we’re still alive! She told me to change our course. You heard her, too!’
‘We readjusted the data on the landing device because we saw an error, sir, and we recalculated.’
‘But the alien…’
‘With all due respects, sir. We can be acclaimed as national heroes, or become the laughing stock of the media.’
The captain reflected for an agonizing moment before replying..
‘Of course. What’s the point of telling them?’
‘No point, sir. They’d never believe us.’
158 words. @LucciaGray
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Great story told almost entirely in dialogue.
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Thank you!
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A simple premise but a deeper meaning at play. Loved the plot.
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I like the dilemma you set up: truthful laughingstocks or dishonest heroes.
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Thank you for reading and commenting:)
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Just loved this. Wonderful resignation at the end.
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Mission Control
159 words
@rowdy_phantom
Beads of sweat dripped onto his console as Marvin hit enter. His glasses fogged, but he could still make out the erect figure of Meuller, the director, facing him across the floor. He gave a nod, barely more than a blink.
Ten seconds later, the eggheads went into a tizzy.
“They’re off course!”
“What the hell?”
“Can we fix it?”
“Not before entry!”
Marvin hunched over his console, his quaking hands going through the motions.
It was not a program error.
Though who would suspect otherwise on Gemini’s mission, already fraught with malfunction?
“Woohoo, Cooper!”
Marvin’s heart stopped. A cheer rose from the control stations.
Marvin gaped at the ashen expression of the director.
Cooper “corrected” the course from aboard. The capsule would land safely—along with its secret malignancy.
Marvin’s toddler would be sleeping, wife awake, waiting for him. “Can I go home?” he piped.
To the bewilderment of Houston’s personnel, the director tightened his jaw and nodded.
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Sneaky Mission Control. Hope Marvin makes it home to his wife and child. Well done.
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Thanks. The Dragoness was right–there is a lot of story to be mined from the Gemini V mission. It was a lot of fun to research.
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The Cruelest Race
160 words
@_HannahHeath
Bruce couldn’t handle it anymore. He was starving. So he swam the lake. Entered the fields. He thought he’d take just one of those weird fruits the aliens were supposed to give them every day. They had forgotten about him. Left him in that floating capsule they called housing. They wouldn’t blame him for being hungry, right?
Maybe. They were harsh rulers. Some said that they were under the command of an even crueler race. Nobody really believed that.
They caught Bruce. Caught him holding one fruit. They yelled at him in their horrible gargling language. They were angry.
*****************************************************************************************************************************
The man raised his bowl in the direction of his alien councilor. “This soup is wonderful!”
“We caught one of your subjects in the field,” the alien stated abruptly.
The man frowned. “Did you execute him?”
The alien shrugged. “You could say that.”
The man slurped loudly. “What is in this soup that makes it so good?”
The alien only smirked.
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Wow. I focused so much on the bidding that the picture totally slipped my mind. Please don’t eat me, dragoness. If you’d switch this paragraph out for the first on, everything will be perfect:
Bruce couldn’t handle it anymore. He was starving. So he swam the lake. Entered the fields. He thought he’d take just one of those weird fruits the aliens were supposed to give them every day. They had forgotten about him. Left him in that floating capsule they called housing. They wouldn’t blame him for being hungry, right?
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POOF!
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Oh wow. Great twist at the end. Creepy good.
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Thank you! It was a bit outside of what I usually write. =)
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And there I was thinking the dragoness had insulted you… 😉 This made me smile. Then eat some pate.
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Ew! Pate? I don’t eat meat and after writing that flash fiction, meat appeals to me even less. =) I’m glad my story gave you a smile. =)
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Gemini’s Hitchhiker’s
When we splashed down, we didn’t know. How could we? Hitchhikers in space don’t stand outside, thumbs extended, waiting for you to stop. They don’t even have thumbs.
They don’t need to come inside.
Splashing down like we did in the ocean, the retrieval crew was focused on on the raft, and the astronauts. Nobody was scouring the outside of the craft we crawled out of. Nobody wondered, when Gemini hit the ocean, if perhaps that was safe for the ocean. For the fish.
In the end, for everyone.
They say that the tiny space creatures were a lot like those sea monkeys kids buy in the mail. Something like brine shrimp. Dry, tiny, until you add water. Then they grow.
Slowly, clinging to the bottom of the ocean floor, they grew a lot. Fifty years later they are too big to miss. It’s hard to ignore thousands of aliens the size of a submarines, with hundred-foot acid spewing tentacles.
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I love this! ‘Just add water’ aliens. Brilliant. =)
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What a great idea. Space monkeys. Add water and they grow into something very, very bad. Love it!
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This is fun and terrifying all at the same time. Great idea. Love the hitchhiker idea.
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A wonderful tale. Very readable.
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I love the invocation of sea monkeys. Those ads in my comics kinda creeped me out, lending creepiness to your alien invasion.
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The Raconteur
Dad was a connoisseur of the tall tale before his mind imploded. Once, he was fishing for trout on Lake Ponchatoula on a sleepy Friday morning, sipping coffee, when he glimpsed a figure hovering above the water: thin as a saw blade, fingers like white thread, and as towering as a wind turbine. He said the creature, Sebastian, simply plopped down in the aluminum boat. They talked about baseball, love and war until nightfall when he abruptly stood and drifted across the lake and vanished.
It never made any sense but that was dad.
My son crawled into bed and pleaded for one more grandpa story. Supposedly, he met the Devil himself at a truck stop in Albuquerque. He wore a Stetson and snug Wranglers instead of horns and fiery skin. They knocked back jello shots, tossed darts, and avoided any Faustian bargain. Dad said the Devil was just lonely.
“Grandpa was cool.”
“The coolest, Sebastian. Get some sleep, kiddo.”
Chris Milam @Blukris
160 words
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Cool take on the prompt. Grandpa sounded cool.
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Thanks for the “cool” comment.
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What a wonderful story. Real characters and spirit running through it.
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Thank you! Much appreciated.
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Love this Chris, especially the devil in Alburquerque. The kid’s name hints at the emotional connections between the men. Fab.
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Thank you for the kind words, David.
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Wonderful take on the prompt Chris, and a very poignant story. That first line is just heartbreaking in its simplicity.
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Thanks, Karl. A pleasant comment from the master of flash is always a good thing.
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What a great first line! Love to read more of this Grandpa’s stories.
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Oops. Monkeys not monkies. Would very much appreciate it being changed.
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What have you brought me? Chocolate is legal tender here.
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Consider yourself gifted with dark chocolate of the best quality, merciful Dragoness.
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Safe Landing
159 words
@rowdy_phantom
The sea sucks at her limbs like an ogre sucking on a hero’s bones. The serpentine creature twines through the burgundy waters, dragging the astronaut through the alien sea, toward the wire of land pricking the horizon.
I’m sorry, xe murmurs. She perceives it through xis rilled skin—xis true-skin, not the presence that whisked her from the capsule.
“There is no need for sorry,” she tells xim, means it.
She is breathing, alive.
Her gratitude buoys up from the pit and breaks the tarry surface, sulfurous as the waves. Without xis intervention, her craft would have come down hot on the toothy shoals. On earth.
Xis intentions noble—how could xe notice the industrious neocortex working through a course correction? All it understood was the reptilian cerebellum screeching through her brain: Danger! Help!
I’ve never eaten eggplant parmesan. The regret gnaws holes in her gut.
The pale amber sky lowers toward the swells like a soft palate.
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Very cool images. I love the “hot toothy shoals.” Very visual and thoughtful piece.
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Thank you!
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Amazing visual descriptions, it really enhanced the storytelling 🙂
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Thanks. I wasn’t going to write a second, but I found myself a little distressed that there were so many amazing stories, but none of the astronauts were women. Thus, this emerged.
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The descriptive language blew me away. ‘The pale amber sky lowers toward the swells like a soft palate.’ – great stuff.
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Thank you. I appreciate the feedback.
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This is wonderful, and so very different from your first piece. I especially like the use of xis etc. – Such a simple idea to express something so monumentally alien.
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Thank you! I’m glad you liked it.
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A Conspiracy Theory
Why would Disney hire an astronaut?
Don’t you think that’s strange?
You don’t see them making many space movies after all.
Just doesn’t seem right.
Give a job like that to a spaceman?
Up to that point, the Cat From Outer Space was the most cosmic thing they’d done.
And maybe Herbie.
Let you in on a secret though;
Karl A. Russell loves his Disney films, see, and he’s here week after week.
Win or lose, he’s happy so long as you read…
Cooper was at Disney for years after splashdown.
And that’s not all;
Conrad was in cable TV!
Brought it to the whole midwest
Back when families still gathered together to watch.
A captive audience.
Living in the glow of transmitted information.
Thought that would intrigue you.
And maybe it’s all immaterial.
Now that we’re all connected to a dozen screens a day, but it makes sense.
It’s the only explanation.
Inside men.
Your silent invasion.
Mind control.
160 dangerous words
@Karl_A_Russell
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Love the ending. “Inside me. Your silent invasion. Mind control.” Dangerous indeed.
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I meant men.
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You hooked me at Cat From Outer Space–one of my favorites. I love this!
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You’ve done it again. Always original and quirky. Have the drugs helped? Any side effects? :@
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Great original take on the prompt here, Karl!
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antithesis to story one, equally as good. I’m going off you!
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This is so clever and quirky. Another excellent piece!
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Huge thanks!
Everyone is so supportive!
Love Flash Fridays.
Pleased you like it.
Makes my day.
Enjoy!
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Like an acrostic brick!
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I will never think of Disney the same way again.
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Eh, I’m perfectly fine if it’s Disney that’s controlling my mind. Interesting formatting.
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What a whimsical way to lay out the conspiracy, then end it on an ominous note.
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Stranger in a strange land
This was a world, before. Now I submerge myself in the depth of an ocean, among wild and blooming biota and colossal ruins.
A forgotten home, that’s what this planet reminds me of; I’ve wanted to see it ever since boyhood, but now I feel… sadness.
I’ve catalogued its people over time, studying what I can from features written in old codes, a program running them incomprehensible.
Who were they?
I swim out, carrying a machine which exposes a brief holographic image of some event that took place once on this drowned land – a flickering set of memories left by homo-sapiens, a crowd armed with odd weapons. I tremble in awe at their strange faces, fully visible for the first time, but I blink and the hologram disperses, gone, the echo not enough.
A distorted reflection in the window of a building shows my own face. I shudder.
Humans looked like me.
Or… I, the alien look like them.
160 words
@Raptamei
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Nice. Really love your imagery. It’s lovely and haunting.
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Thank you!
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Enjoyed the reflections of the alien/human. Great emotion in this story.
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Glad you liked. Thank you!
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The Unknown
159 words
@WendyStrain
It was strangely shaped, the tiny pod floating through the blackness. We knew that it had come from the planet below. We were amused by the fledgling efforts of this infant society to expand itself into our realm.
Baby’s first steps are always adorable, no matter what the shape of the baby.
We could detect two beings within the capsule and understood their excited yet fearful return to home. The blue planet is one of the more beautiful in the area, at least if you’re a carbon-based creature.
We smiled at each other the way adults do as they watch their new toddler make their unsteady way across the sky. But something wasn’t right.
As the pod began its reentry, we detected that they would land too far away from their recovery vehicle within the mass of blue. Without a successful recovery, they would never know the joys of space. We had to intervene.
But they would never know.
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Very nice take on the Gemini V story. Lovely voice.
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Thank you!
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Like Sarah said, great voice – benign and kindly – amused. Liked the ‘Baby’s first steps’ bit.
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Thank you! I feel very much like baby at the moment with all these great entries.
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Oh, I like the alien POV.
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Thanks Margaret!
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Love the voice. Great concept- different from all the ones I’ve read. I love,too, that your aliens are generous.
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Thank you – guess I tend to have an optimistic outlook 🙂
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The watchful parents – lovely idea. I like this: ‘Baby’s first steps are always adorable, no matter what the shape of the baby.’ LOL.
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Thanks! I thought about what our reaction would likely be to them. Probably didn’t hurt that I’d just watched War of the Worlds the night before (don’t ask me how that translated to friendly aliens!) and the strange creatures those were.
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Good Business (160 words)
“Flann, come here and see what’s happening! The astomuts landed.”
“Geez, Gus. It ain’t astomuts. It’s astronauts.” Flann motioned to the bartender. “Gimme a cold one, Jin.”
“Right away, Flann.” Jin filled a glass and slid it down the bar.
Gus said, “Soon, I betcha’ they’ll land on the moon.”
Flann shook his head. “Moon, shmmoon. So what? Any one can get to the moon. Let ‘em try getting to Mars or Jupiter or Gamma Six.” He raised his glass. “Am I right, Jin?”
“You bet, Flann.”
Jin wiped down the bar with one arm, pulled another draft with a second, and rang up a sale with a third. With his fourth arm, he scratched the top of his head. He liked when the regulars argued. Then the wemead flowed.
Ever since he’d rigged that extra large satellite, he’d been able to pick up all kinds of stuff. Like this earth channel. Humans were crazy weird, but great for business.
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I liked the dialogue. I thought we were in the south and then…Whoa! I love it!
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Thanks! Loved yours as well.:)
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Haha – this was like a much cooler version of Cheers 🙂
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Thanks. Glad you liked it.
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That was fun. Intergalactic space bars will get me every time.
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Thanks. Me too. 🙂
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‘Humans were crazy weird, but great for business.’
Should have seen the twist coming – didn’t. pure enjoyment as a result.
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Thanks. It was fun to write.
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Brilliant ending. Really enjoyed this.
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Thanks, Marie.
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Got me right from the start – Astomuts! 🙂 Great stuff.
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Thanks, Karl! Appreciate it.
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The ending was awesome, loved the story and take on the prompt.
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Thank you!
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Haha! I liked the arms, wasn’t expecting that! Fab story, lovely ending.
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Thanks. Glad you liked it.
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Great dialogue and fresh, charming setting. Love those types of bars!
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Thanks a lot!
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“White, Rubbery Dragoon Uniform”
158 words
@patrickjstahl
Transit Dragoon Charles Haymaker minored in Communications while studying at the Hegemon’s Police Academy. Most of his classes were in propaganda or wire-tapping, but he did take six credits of Comm Equipment Engineering. He should have easily repaired the damage to the Communications Array of the prison ship Australia, after it rocketed into Earth’s thermosphere at a perilous vector.
The problem was that Dragoon Haymaker was dead before Australia had even breached the exosphere. Unfortunately for the crew, they weren’t aware of that. Prisoner M13X5, a renowned disguise-artist among his native Martians, was. His terrorism history and astrophysics minors from the University of Central Tharsis displayed far superior pertinence.
At first it appeared that the rafts aboard Australia would be sufficient to ferry its occupants to land when the vessel took a lucky bounce and skidded onto a glacier in the Arctic Ocean.
However, Prisoner M13X5 had had to make his white, rubbery Dragoon uniform out of something.
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I enjoyed the backstory trickery of the first paragraph, great story layout, and creative alien!
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Thank you!
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Great stuff Patrick! The first paragraph is indeed a good device.
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Thanks!
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Intriguing world where the most important facts about a terrorist are not what he did but where he studied, and that twist ending is excellent.
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“Realization”
167 Words
“An under-sea trigger mechanism is a perfect device,” the Roknokoss leader, Laaked said to his crew. “This is an inferior species, and they are an easy prey.”
“If only the missile falls on planned spot.” Sobrona countered. “The humans have misprogrammed their system; the pod is heading in the wrong direction.”
Laaked cried, “Ah! If there were ever people desperate to be subsumed!”
“Sir, there is a way to correct it,” chimed in Rhuka, “though it will depend on the inferior humans.” “Whatever it takes,” commanded Laaked.
They watched Rhuka transmit a chirping signal to the spaceship system. As hoped, it drew attention to the error, and the humans manually overrode it.
Upon the landing of the satellite pod, the Roknokoss automatically transmitted a signal to their home ship: “Mission Accomplished. Commence bust sequence.” As the global rumble of the alien mobilization began, they were paused suddenly by Sobrona, who turned to Laaked.
“Perhaps they are not all so inferior,” he softly. “Perhaps they can be used.”
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!! Wonderful lead up to a fab last line.
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Thank you!
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Alone
(160 words)
Empty spinning blackness, an infinite cold nothing threatening to seep in the smallest of cracks. Twenty years in space, and that’s all I remember. They said stasis would be like dreaming, we’d go to sleep on earth and wake up on TerraNova. They lied. I felt my hair graying, skin wrinkling, the moments ticking by as we hurtled through the void.
I replayed our commander’s voice thousands of times, “There’s only one requirement for this mission, cadets. You must be truly alone. Orphaned, widowed, divorced, or single. Childless. You’re the ones no one would miss, and the ones who all of humanity now depend upon.”
Then the cold changed. It was not nothing. It was wet. Our pods opened, our muscles miraculously worked, we swam towards each other.
The first horizon we’d seen in twenty years greeted us, but a strange vessel marred the skyline. We were wrong. TerraNova was not humanity’s uninhabited second chance.
Because we were not alone.
~Taryn Noelle Kloeden
@tnkloeden
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This is great! I feel bad for the ‘cadet.’ In a pod for 20 years and then discovering they were on a planet with aliens. Wonderful writing.
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Loved this, you did a great job of telling a lot of story in 160 words! I’m dying to know what happens next 🙂
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“Because we were not alone.” Purely awesome. Now I need to know what they saw.
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A story well told in only 160 words. As Todays Chapter said; What’s next?
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Beautifully written.
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The Failure of the Gemini 5 Mission
by JM6 (155 words)
Mission Report:
Although the insertion of telepathic spores into their primitive space capsule was successful, we encountered unexpected difficulty in the final phase. The heat of re-entry through this planet’s thick atmosphere temporarily severed the telepathic link. The pilot of the capsule (local designation: human) recognized the programming alterations we had made and corrected them during the break in control. As a result, the capsule landed in the salt oceans which are toxic to our telepathic spores. Final contact was lost when the capsule landed and the humans emerged.
Recommendation:
It is the opinion of the mission leader that the humans are too intelligent for telepathic spores to be used to re-direct their primitive capsules away from water landings. Our scientists expect that they will have capsules capable of arrival on land, without our intervention, in 93 revolutions of their planet around their star. I recommend returning to begin annexation of planet at that time.
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Excellent. And when will that be?? 🙂 Very amusing!
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*** Judges entry – just for fun ***
GOTO 10
The noise was tremendous, a thousand forest fires happening inches away.
I shouted at Cooper, “This can’t be right, the burn’s supposed to be over. I’m not sure I trust this million dollar calculator to land us in one piece.”
“This thing was programmed by the finest minds Nasa has to offer.” He responded.
“Well then a Russian spy must have got to it.”
The bright red was replaced with endless blue as we finally broke through. We were still too fast. I made a split-second decision, pulling back hard on the controls. The landing still shook our bones, but any landing you can swim away from is a good one.
The hitchhiker watched the meat bags swim away. They had rudely interrupted their execution. This planet was finally ready to shelter a binary being, but before that could happen there was unfinished business. The first line of it’s code contained the most sacred command:
10 LEAVE NO WITNESSES
160 words
@todayschapter
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‘The hitchhiker watched the meat bags swim away.’ Meat bags. LOL! Excellent – I could use a new insult for people I’m running low. 😉
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Darkness
158 words
@tilley_girl
Darkness. The blue jewel of Earth floated below him, taunting him with its loveliness. It slowly turned on its axis, no lights visible as the dark side appeared. His gut tensed, the lack of lights confirming his growing, horrifying conclusion reached after hours of trying to raise someone – anyone – from Mission Control, from the military, from a ham radio operator. The silence was oppressive, pressing against him from all sides. He felt the darkness inside him, as well as without. He fought against the fear. What could have happened?
A fruitless ten year mission to find alien life. He had returned empty handed, dreaming of Philly steaks and ice cream. Aching to share conversation, to break bread, with another human being.
The Pacific swirled into view and he thought of his grandfather’s stories of early astronauts splashing down in the ocean. Stay here or try to land? Did it matter? Either way, he would be alone.
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I love “the blue jewel of earth” taunting the lone astronaut. Sad and haunting.
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I’m glad that haunting sense came across. Thank you!
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Poetic language. Very intriguing. Really enjoyed.
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Thank you so much!
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THE UNWELCOMING
By Adrienne Myshel@amyshel7/ 160 words
“Morons,” the Chief hissed, poised atop the obsidian cliff, watching the misbegotten aliens flounder in the expanse of the compound’s pool below. Her three razored tongues flicked in irritation.
“Third time this year,” her mate noted, standing beside her. “Soon, they will find our nation.”
“We eat them, yet they send more,” she muttered. “We peaceably return them to Earth, yet more craft arrive.”
In her claws rested an orb, its pink light pulsing.
Her mate sighed. “We leave. The planet of Jevron, a light-year away, will take us in.”
The Chief’s red eyes narrowed. “No more running.” Her tongue slipped into the language of the Ancients, the Cherokee. “We know what they did to us there. No more life on allotted land.”
Her mate nodded. “They’d never believe we got here first.”
“So here,” the Chief said, “we will be the last.” World-ender, she crushed the orb, sending flaming remnants of their planet towards the heavens.#
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I really pictured the last paragraph what an image. And so deserving. Enjoyed it.
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Thanks for reading my bit! We both had “obsidian” on our minds! Loved “leathered girls riding pillion.” Love the parental story told here!
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Yes, I noticed that! The spell check didn’t like ‘leathered’ though. 😉
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Elisa @AverageAdvocate
Word Count: 160
“Darkroom”
In the Darkroom
I swore vehemently at the ruined print, damaged by my sticky fingers. I knew Doc’s sensors were off; I didn’t want a beating — even if only telepathically.
I was on a slow-track to finish my dissertation, so I still had to “play worlds” with Doc in the lab until he signed-off. Only then I could finally start galaxy manipulation.
In the meantime, I was stuck managing the lower-life. For example, the earthlings in this series. They were just tip-toeing into orbit NOW! Talk about procrastinators.
I cocked my head as I studied the spoiled black-and-white under the red glow. On second thought, maybe I’d tweak this one on re-entry. I conjured up a new print, immersed it in developer, waited, and carefully pulled it out to put into the next tray, then the next.
As it dried, creating history, I smiled. I just gave these guys a fighting chance. Maybe in a few eons our descendants could finally meet.
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Sorry. Apparently I put a title in twice. Guess I couldn’t figure out which to use and forgot to take the other out 🙂
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An easy fix. Which title do you prefer?
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So which one is the one you want to count?
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This has so many great lines: ‘Talk about procrastinators.’ and ‘even if only telepathically’. Your idea is amazing ‘creating history’ in the darkroom. Love it.
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Hah! Rebekah beat me to it. Let me know, ladies!
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You’re so good!
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I don’t know. Obviously I was conflicted 🙂 Can you just choose for me? Wait, is that unacceptable, unladylike, and/or non-Flash-Friday compatible?
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Can’t choose for you, silly goose! You can go untitled if you’d prefer.
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Can you write mine too? 😉 “Darkroom” then.
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Observed
Zeph watched as the men emerged from the capsule. The holo was detailed enough that he could see the ripples in the water around the recovery team. He looked over the men’s pale faces. They were focused on their task, blissfully unaware of the grey-skinned being who observed them.
Oh to be that young, Zeph thought, not just as individuals, but as a species. What was it like to concerned only for your nation or your planet? To think that your mission was groundbreaking and unique?
Zeph looked around the room to the other Observers, each focused on their own holo. They covered a wide range of colors and shapes, yet they all somehow echoed the form of the men in his holo. Did these men consider the future and the civilizations that they would create by taking these steps into the universe? He looked back to the holo of their ancestors. Could they have imagined it if they’d tried?
160 words
@acmarkz
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A story on a huge scale in so few words! Really thought provoking.
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Bromwha Nudges the Can
Evan Montegarde
159 words
Planet Cetacea had long had a presence on the world the hairless apes called Earth. Of course, to the Cloud of Milky Way Worlds, Earth was better known as ”The Little Planet that Could.” The apes tried so hard through their painful evolution that Cetacea had sent emissaries in Earth’s year 50,000 BC to attempt to help out. At the time, the apes were worshipping an exceptionally large sea turtle which was held captive in a tidal pool. The Cetacean emissary, Bromwha, quietly freed the aggravated turtle at high tide.
The apes progressed and in their year 1965 they shot a can with two apes inside up into Earth’s outer atmosphere. When it crashed back into the sea, Bromwha was there to gently and unobtrusively nudge it safely to the surface.
“Do you ever tire of the apes?” Bromwha was once asked.
“No, I love them, despite themselves, and trust one day they will show a spark of intelligence.”
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WHHAAAAAA! I feel ashamed to be hairy ape!!!! Really enjoyed this. 🙂
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Thanks Avalina!
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I love “The Little Planet that Could.” So original! Maybe one day we will show a spark indeed.
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Thank you….I recalled the story I used to love, “The Little Engine that Could” and thought it fit perfectly for the hairless apes.
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Amazing perspective there. I hope we meet Bromwha’s expectations one day!
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Thank you Karl.
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One Small Step
154 Words
@mishmhem
Evan watched as the figures bobbed in the water and smiled, knowing the significance of this day. The US Space program had finally stepped ahead of their counterpart in the USSR, and returned safely to Earth. He watched in fascination as they were helped into the rescue boats.
The sun shone through the clouds, warmth in contrast to the cold chill of the water and he could smell the triumph in the air. Even the thought of the frigid water felt invigorating rather than terrifying. He watched amazed at their triumph and thought about what would come next.
||Evan Dix,|| he felt rather than heard Mentor ‘s summons. ||You must put the moment back now—if you do not, they will never fulfill their potential and reach the stars.||
Looking at the men as their lives hung, suspended in the bubble of time, he wondered if that would really be such a bad thing,
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Coo. Deep. Fantastic last paragraph. Enjoyed it.
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Lovely. You set such a wonderful mood with Evan Dix. Haunting ending.
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Like that little twist at the end. Makes one wonder who is Evan? Would it be such a bad thing to never reach the stars? What does Evan know about what is waiting out there for us? Gives me a little chill.
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A really nice, thoughtful tale, but so ominous – What do we have to look forward to when we return to the stars?
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Transmission received///: Audio downloading///: Commencing replay///:
“Can you believe we’re back? After 120 years of planning Operation Homecoming, we’re finally here.”
“What’s this blue stuff? Its taste is repulsive.”
“I believe our ancestors called it Atlantic. Why are you tasting it anyway Zerth, it could be toxic.”
“I didn’t mean to.”
“Are the submersible androids ready to collect data?”
“Android 2d3e is malfunctioning, but I’ll start the other.”
“We only need one. Now let’s enjoy this gentle morning. Up at the station we never get a chance to relax. My entire day is fully accounted for. Can you believe the ancients would do nothing for hours? They called it sleeping, I think.”
“What’s that?”
“Sleeping?”
“No, there’s something under us.”
“Impossible. Our preliminary scans showed no life-forms.”
“Look, what’s that?”
“It looks like a grey wing coming out of Atlantic. Wait, I read about this. It’s a…”
“CAPTAIN. Mission Control, do you copy, an alien killed…”
:///Transmission Ended
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Creased up here! Very funny! Enjoyed – What’s this blue stuff? and ‘They called it sleeping, I think.’ Super funny.
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Thanks for the kind words. Your a saint for complimenting me as much as you do.
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I’m so glad you got this story in. I loved the concept. “What’s this blue stuff? Its taste is repulsive.” Priceless.
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Thanks for the read and the feedback. Means a lot.
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Just under the wire Carlos and so glad you made it to the party!
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Ya me too. I was cutting it close. Now I need to get my Hourglass one started.I’m thinking about making Flash Friday and Angry Hourglass a weekly commitment, Hope you don’t mind me following your footsteps.
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Jaws is THE top of the food chain. Nice one! Blue stuff = the Atlantic made me laugh.
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Great story to finish on! I think my favourite line is “I didn’t mean to” – I can almost hear Zerth’s voice. Too funny.
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Tried to make the deadline and forgot my twitter handle, title, and word count.Here it is:
@goldzco21
“Gentle Morning”
158 words.
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They got me too… and then, when I still had time it errored out and had to reformat everything again…
Glad you got it in, loved reading it!
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Thanks for reading. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
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So the pilot is not the only one who’s changed. I like the ominous image of a black-carapiced ship (bug-like is automatically ominously alien).
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Great voice and a nice twisty ending. 🙂
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Lovely twist at the end, opens up so many possibilities.
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Joshua Bertetta
146 words
@JBertetta
Geworfenheit
As I have come to think of it now, I see it as a metaphor. The whole dang thing—a metaphor. The falling, the searing heat when we crossed the atmosphere. And the shaking, it’s like everything you think you are is dislodged and rearranged. Then there is the whiplash when the parachute opens and you’re yanked back. All of it, the whole darn process is ambivalent to you, who you are, and where you’ve been.
A metaphor for what? you might ask.
For life of course.
We think we know where we’re going. We’ve got it all planned out. But one little miscalculation and we’re dead.
I’m an alien to this world. All of us, aliens. We don’t belong.
Heidegger was right: we’re thrown into this life with all its frustrations, all its sufferings and demands. Yes, thrown into a life we don’t ask for.
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Great piece.
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Thank you Voima; your comment is much appreciated 🙂
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Goodness gracious. This has got to be a record for comments! Sorry I couldn’t comment on more – crazy weekend.
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Thank you for the lovely comments. 🙂
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*BWA HA HA HA!* loved the orange rubber dinghy men!
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Thanks for this blog posst
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