Just for Fun: Useless

Knights Castle. CC 2.0 art by HKD.

Knights Castle. CC 2.0 art by HKD.

Useless

by Rebekah Postupak

The firstborn Prince Charming, Eilen, heir to the throne, conquered a dragon, woke a long-sleeping princess, and saved the kingdom.

The secondborn Prince Charming, Gallen, Duke of the West, revived a magic-slain princess in a glass coffin and mended the age-old feud with the dwarves.

The thirdborn Prince Charming, Lenven, Duke of the East, married a princess-hearted cinder girl and forged a lasting treaty with the people of the fairy godmothers.

The fourthborn prince was Fred.

Despite years of training, Fred failed miserably at swordplay, horsemanship, waltzing, archery, and magic spell-breaking. He showed some small promise at thievery, but this was a talent the king mostly discouraged.

“We do love you,” said Eilen, clapping Fred on the back and sending the boy sprawling. “It’s just… you’re so useless.

“Of course you don’t mean to be,” Lenven added hastily.

So it was a great surprise to all when they discovered Fred could fly.

And see through things with x-ray vision.

The king’s eyes glowed with pride. “Right hero, wrong story,” he said, shaking hands with the mayor of Metropolis.

***

Written for the weekly flash fiction contest “Christian Flash Weekly,” inspired by the provided verse and coming in at the required 178 words. Yes. That’s 178 exactly.

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2 thoughts on “Just for Fun: Useless

  1. The rhythm of firstborn la! la! la! … secondborn la! la! la! … thirdborn la! la! la! … fourthborn la? — me likey. Me likey ahhh lot.

    (let’s pretend I didn’t just write that)

    This line was also fantastic: “He showed some small promise at thievery, but this was a talent the king mostly discouraged.” The twist, like eating spicy five alarm chicken vindaloo the first time, took me by surprise.

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