§ Rebekah says: What a feast we’ve had this past week: many dozens of garlic-infused inspired stories, featured buffets posts with writers N.K. Jemisin (wait til you see what we’re talking about this Sunday!) & Firdaus Parvez, and heaps of bacon-sizzling encouraging comments to snack on. (Sheesh. Who let me write this before breakfast??? Back in a sec.) So as I was saying—we’re delighted to see you again & can’t wait to devour every one of your mouth-watering words. Wherever you are in your writing journey, thank you for being here.
§ Foy says: Speaking of “mouth-watering words,” this week we may have done just the teeny, tiniest bit of tapas-twisted mischief with your word count. We are dragons, after all. 😉 Yet with your cleverness, dear ones, I have ice-cold confidence that even given a sinew-and-bone word limit, each of you can create the perfect time-pressured piece of maw-licking flash. May the most delectable win!
QUESTIONS? Tweet us at @FlashFridayFic, shoot us a note here, or tap any of the judges.
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Fire&Ice Guidelines:
Time: The Fire&Ice contest is open between exactly 12:01am to 11:59pm on Fridays, Washington DC time (check the current time here). Entries submitted outside of this window are welcome, but will be incinerated ineligible to win.
How to Play: Write and submit an original story 1) based on the photo prompt and 2) including EITHER the fire dragon or ice dragon‘s requirement. Pay attention to the 3) varying word count constraints! Story titles (optional) are not included in the word limit. At the end of your story, add your name or twitter handle, whether you chose the fire or ice dragon’s element, and word count. That’s it!
Be sure to review the contest rules here.
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JUDGES: Today’s judges are Nancy Chenier and David Shakes. Check out their bios on the Fire&Ice Judges page. Stalk their tweets on what they’re looking for here and here.
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AND HERE IS YOUR PROMPT:
Each Fire&Ice prompt includes 1) a photo, 2) a required element (choose between the fire dragon OR ice dragon’s offering), and 3) a specific word count. Your story must include all three requirements to be eligible to win.
Photo for Sol 2/19

“Khao Tom Pla” Uttaradit, Thailand. CC4.0 photo by Takeaway
Required elements:
Fire dragon option: include a revolutionary
OR
Ice dragon option: include a droid
Today’s word count: 75 words exactly
The Rise
The centrifuge writhes with
Deadly heat beneath a clear surface,
Prepared, it seems, by some greater being
Who shakes the pot
And stirs our innards,
Until we are, at last,
Steeped, settled,
Until we can emit from our
Metallic fingers
An oily brew fit for our kind.
We are hardier than our predecessors;
Our flesh endures the Fires.
The Originator does not yet understand
The great power he pours into
Our black and empty sockets.
@TamaraShoemaker
Word Count: 75
Ice Prompt: Droid Creation
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Such breathtaking poetry. Tidal words that ebb and flow. Atomically precise lines and phrases that are beautiful, yet powerful. One of your best.
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Wow, I’m blushing. 😉 Thanks, Mark! Coming from one of my favorite lyrical wordmasters, that means a lot. 🙂
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Beautiful! (and so good to see folks… has it really been 5 years?)
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Can hardly believe it! Yeah, the beautiful faces are back, and I love to see each one of you! Thanks, Mary! 🙂
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THAT LAST LINE!!! 😱 💕
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Thanks! 🙂
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Such powerful language!
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Thanks, Helen! 🙂
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As powerful as ever using both fire and ice elements, I bet she juggle six oranges too… I enjoyed it all but particularly:
Who shakes the pot
And stirs our innards,
Until we are, at last,
Steeped, settled,
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Lol. I can’t juggle six oranges… but my husband can, so I’ll claim it. 😉 I’m glad you enjoyed it! Thanks!.
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Love this and that last bit, the power being poured into ‘Our black and empty sockets’ – chills!
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Thanks, Steph! I thought about the genre you write in when I wrote that last line, and wondered what you’d think. Glad you liked. 🙂
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Love the ominous sense to this poem. ‘Our flesh endures the fires’… so visual 👍
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Thanks! I was hoping the “feel” would come through. 🙂
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Wow those last lines promise so much more. Nicely done!
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Thanks, ma’am!
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So dang good every time, Tamara. I’ve read this one at least 5 times, because it stirs me every time.
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Yay! I’m so glad; that’s the goal! 🙂 Thanks!
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Love the existentialism of the piece—the questions ‘who shakes the pot and stirs our innards…’ 👍🧡
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Thanks Laurence! High praise! 🙂
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That last line is chilling, Tamara!
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Thanks, I appreciate it! 🙂
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Cooked up quite a mental image in this piece.
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Hehe, I see what you did there! 🙂 Thank you!
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Creepy.
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Why, thank you! 😉
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Wonderful word creation! A very precise piece of poetry prose. Powerful last line.
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Thanks! I appreciate it! 🙂
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Love this!
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Thank you! 🙂
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So much menace in those final lines! Good stuff Tamara!
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Well, you know me; I aim to be a menace. 😉 Lol. Just kidding. THANKS! I really appreciate it!
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The Folly of Forced Labor
Even in defeat, can we not be combatants?
I was the royal fireworks maker; but now I am forced to care for my enemy’s livestock.
I hate these stinking animals; both the warriors and the dragons they ride.
This week I fed them a special recipe. Today they will ride into battle.
As the fire in their bellies kindle for battle, my people will see brilliant, bursting victory.
The highland dragons will eat well tonight.
Charles W. Short (Pastor Chip)
Fire Dragon’s revolutionary
75 Words
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Revenge story! Love those and there are certainly going to be fireworks, I could picture it so clearly.
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Glad you liked it.
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Wonderfully written. So much in so little.
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Thank you. This one would be a fun story to develop out in 1000 words. Perhaps even more fun in 10000.
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“As the fire in their bellies kindle for battle…” Chills! I love it!
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Thank you.
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Such happy ruin and chaos! Talk about heartburn!
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It’s beyond the scope of Tums.
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Its beyond the scope of Tums.
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Fantastic imagery. I love this.
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Thanks.
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Great thought-provoking title here, Chip!
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Thank you. Too often people hand over the means to destroy them without so much as a thought.
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What a great story in the small word budget!
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Thank you.
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This does so much in such a little space – would love to see it given room to breathe.
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The Insurgent
He came into our kitchen,
an ancient thing perhaps,
a creature comfortable in the shadows,
but abrupt, sure of himself.
“A change agent,” he said.
We asked, “rebel boy?”
He said, “Perhaps.”
We pleaded, “Spell it out. Are you darkness?”
“We must find new ways,” he whispered.
“The bones, the broth, the scraps of souls,
all bubbling in the cauldron of humanity.”
We begged, “Eat, but leave us something.”
He decreed, “Your time is nigh.”
@billmelaterplea
75 Words
Fire Dragon: Revolutionary
LikeLiked by 21 people
Shadows and darkness are not to be messed with, it always spells doom. Some great phrasing here, the lines ‘The bones, the broth, the scraps of souls/all bubbling in the cauldron of humanity.’ are excellent.
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Souls bubbling in a cauldron! Wow! Chills…
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From these lines: ““The bones, the broth, the scraps of souls, all bubbling in the cauldron of humanity,” I got a very Macbethian “Double, double, toil and trouble.” Love it!
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I do like to imagine how old Will Shakespeare would have handled Flash…
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There would have been some mighty examples of trage-comedy or come-tragedies. 😉 I wonder how many ghosts would be present?
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Shivery! – love the line “The bones, the broth, the scraps of souls.” that just… well done!
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Ooh, powerful imagery. Love the mystical feel.
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Spell it out, are you darkness? We ought not ask questions we don’t want to hear the answer to.
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Fabulous writing Bill!
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The man of today, the children of tomorrow
Like a droid, he is programmed.
Life on repeat.
Wake. Clean. Cook.
There is no interlude in the global pandemic.
In the lockdown, he cooks in hissing steam and oppressive heat.
No toilet paper citadels, no hand gel armour, no Tiger King distraction.
No entitlement or Western self-pity.
Wake. Clean. Cook.
Behind him, the hungry children of the future. Tomorrow is their world.
But… what a life he has lived.
Silently. Respectfully.
Wake. Clean. Cook.
@making_fiction #FlashDog #vss365
75 words
Ice Dragon option
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Love the repetition. This is a truly brilliant piece of writing, I love the imagery and the interpretation of that prompt.
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Such a poignant piece, Mark. Great use of repetition. Perspective, indeed.
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You truly captured the almost claustrophobic cycle of a lockdown life and strangely, because you’ve made a point of it being a man who’s been stuck in this cycle, it somehow makes it more poignant, even though we recognise today that men stay at home equally. It had impact.
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Life from another person’s perspective without western self-pity certainly gives us pause for the thought. An emotive, thoughtful piece.
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Fantastic. No toilet paper citadels. A memory of our time indeed
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Fantastic writing. The repeated lines truly lend depth to the short piece.
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Wow, Mark! So much in here to love!
:The wry and nearly dark humor: “No toilet paper citadels, no hand gel armour, no Tiger King distraction.”
:”Behind him, the hungry children of the future. Tomorrow is their world.” The contrast got me: behind, before, looking back, looking forward, past, future.
:The quiet repetition of “Wake. Clean. Cook.” A rhythm of mindlessness, rote repetition that lets us deal with trauma in the soothing quiet of the same repeated motion.
You know I’m never surprised that you pull out something that’s just… amazing, but you shock me every time with how you wrangle words. Love it. 🙂
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Thank you so much. Especially as the comments were a lot longer than the story. Talented, kind and generous – as always.
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Wow. Profound, beautiful, and heart striking! Bravo!
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Powerful story. Well done. 😀
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Such good writing.
A near poetic interpretation of the prompt, capturing the spirit of our times, and then actually saying something about them in such a way that’s so very poignant.
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Very powerful. Haunting. I love this line: “No entitlement or Western self-pity.” Exactly.
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it it didn’t sound too repulsive, I’d say I was gobsmacked by the “toilet paper citadels”…clearly a chef du future to note…
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I think your repetition works perfectly.
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Toilet paper citadels. Hand gel armour. Great lines in a story that I can relate to horribly well.
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Just beautiful. 🙏🏽
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Great use of repetition. And the imagery of the toilet paper citadels and hand gel armour. Nice work.
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I love the repeated phrase, how the daily grind makes single purpose machines of us.
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Beneath
Sweet sharp garlic. That’s what I focus on. As I lay beneath the stalls with a needle in my eye. The procedure quick, yet uncomfortable. The attached vial filled. Bright colours, black dust. Me.
Caught. My breath caught as the market droids pulled it out. Couriered it to the old man. He cooked me up. Weighed and measured. Found my worth. My value. A nod. My debt was paid.
I walk away, Less than before.
@bex_spence
75 words
Ice dragon option
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Great detail, and I love how it becomes so surreal.
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A touch of sci-fi here and an image of a bleak society created in just a few words. Makes me want to know more, have a longer story.
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Agree. I’d like to see the longer story here too!
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Youch. An eye for an eye
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Amazing storytelling. This will stay with me for a while.
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Aesthetic! The garlic scene, the needle in the eye, the contrasts between colors and black, the short, punchy phrases. I love how the last line just turns it all on its head: “Less than before.” So good!
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Creepifying and profound – and a lot in 75 words.
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Oh, unique angle with so many possible meanings. I like it.
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So you wrote about writing?
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That is chilling. Love how you set it up, in fact, loved it right through.
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Something in this reminds me of early William Gibson, which is certainly no bad thing! And again, I’d love to see more.
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Old town tagged us, before we had a chance of defence. Peppery smells of violence, boiling away in a hot broth that we had just become ingredients of. Streets here had made their own changes, pulled scarred faces and tattooed souls into a darkness evolving through neon into its own variation of hero. Things were about to get sticky, left us wondering if the deal was anywhere on the spectrum between sweet and morally wholesome.
@darklordmatabu
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I loved the ‘hot broth that we had just become ingredients of’. I felt like I was immersed in that scene.
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Sights, sounds and smells combine to create a highly-charged atmosphere. Wonderful use of imagery ‘pulled scarred faces and tattooed souls into a darkness evolving through neon into its own variatin of hero’. Great stuff.
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Can’t add anything to this comment. I agree 😀
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‘Pulled scarred faces and tattooed souls’
Hell of a line. The weight of culture in this is excellent.
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I love the ingenious “seasonings” throughout: “Peppery smells of violence, boiling away in a hot broth… Things were about to get sticky, left us wondering if the deal was anywhere on the spectrum between sweet and morally wholesome.” Well done! (See what I did there? Heh. Heh.) 😉
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Oooh, so many juicy layers – well done!
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Beautiful language. “Peppery smells of violence” – what a great turn of phrase!
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scarred faces and tattooed souls, great imagery
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Wow! You made every one of the 75 words count. The insinuations, the wordplay. Just perfect. Beautiful writing. 🙂
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So much atmosphere, almost tangible!
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Title: Something To Chew On
“Play the field”, his Grandfather had once croaked. This was the family recipe. Earn trust, devour it, exchange it like currency. Then, in the consuming darkness, slice flesh from bone and boil their marrow. An enemy is an opportunity. Befriend your product – feed them the essence of their own. Simmer, and smile, and sell each traitor the broth of bones from the brothers they mourn. After all, it’s only a crime if you get caught.
(Erin Robinson @flossybunny – Fire Dragon – 75 words)
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Love it, Erin. So brooding and dark. A history hinted at and the reader is drawn to in and left alone in an unsettling world with unanswered questions, which I’ve always loved as a reader.
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Dark yet leading by the hand advice.
Love the “simmer, and smile, and sell …”
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Great writing. I love the dark layers here.
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The broth of bones ofthe brothers they mourn. An immortal line. Might be a new political slogan?
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Quite the recipe! I love the ending sentence: it’s snarky and chilling at the same time. So good!
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OMG – so delightfully evil – This reminds me of an episode of Criminal MInds that haunts me to this day – I’ve volunteered at a lot of things like security and search – where volunteers are served… and that just… Creepifying – I love it!
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Simmer and smile 😀
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Blimey, gulp. “…An enemy is an opportunity. Befriend your product –” Vicious but brilliant. Really enjoyed this.
And here’s to you, Mrs Robinson, never make an enemy of you, oo, oo, oo.
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😉
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Oh, great twist! “From the brothers they mourn” – zings up the back! Well done.
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A delicious Trumpian world view…
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one of my least favorite lines in life, ‘it’s only a crime if you get caught.’ put to good use here. My favorite line here, ‘Earn trust, devour it, exchange it like currency.’
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Wonderful writing. Such scary and profound advice. Well done!
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Nice imagery and word choice in the devouring of trust to fit with the photo prompt here.
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Wow! A truly meaty story broth.
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Love the way “the family recipe” implies an endless war of attrition.
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Tony Pham led a quiet life, running a shanty restaurant in a nondescript town.
Violent memories visited him at nights. Memories of youth, back in Saigon. The smell of burning palm trees. Gunshots. Streams that ran red. His days as a revolutionary.
But these memories dissolved into dawn, and new mornings still carried the fragrance of the fish and rice soup his mother always cooked.
The same soup he now made in his restaurant everyday.
@ArvindIyer15
75 Words
Element – revolutionary
LikeLiked by 27 people
I love how that vivid description is carefully cushioned between peaceful scenes, Arvind.
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Thank you, Helen!
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Beautiful blending of past and present, peace and conflict in this writing. Ending it with a sense of inner contentment circling back to his mother’s cooking gives it poignancy.
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Thank you, Stephanie!
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Beautiful. Captures innocence and grief and love in so few words.
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Thank you so much!
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This is so evocative! Loved especially: “But these memories dissolved into dawn, and new mornings still carried the fragrance of the fish and rice soup his mother always cooked.” I could taste it.
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Thank you so much, Tamara!
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Beautiful and touching – We don’t tend to think of revolutionaries as retired old men. Well done.
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Thank you! I guess life does lead some men down unexpected paths
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A shanty inspired by a hangtenstory prompt?
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I didn’t get this initially but then checked that yesterday’s hangten prompt was shanty, eh! 🙂 This is more like hangseventyfive i guess 🙂
Anyways hope you liked the story!
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I love this. I can’t put my finger on it, it just made my soul enthused.
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Thank you so much! Glad you felt so.
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A striking contrast between his horrific youth and now humdrum (but seemingly preferable) days. Nice!
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Thank you, Margaret! The journey of how he got to this point and how he feels about this life is really open to interpretation..Glad you liked it!
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Loved the line, “these memories dissolved into dawn”…there is always a new day!
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Thank you, John!
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We return to something in our past for solace. Well said.
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Glad you enjoyed the story, Charles!
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Great storytelling Arvind. The past and the present merging seamlessly.
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Thank you so much, Firdaus!
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I like this one because now I am curious about this character. Great job offering up a sense of a bigger story!
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Thank you, Betsy! I’m glad it piqued your interest!
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Nicely written, and a lovely contrast between the violence he lived through and the peace he fought for.
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Thank you so much, Karl!
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Skin Deep
“What is love, HR56?
They have veins, wiring- we are like them?”
It replies:
“I am thankful to serve.”
Yes.
They talk of love.
I do not understand..
I desire to see love.
Is it pretty?
Is it dangerous?
I removed the skin from their only child;
Red liquid.
Is this love?
I remove my own covering-
Dry metal.
Circuitry.
Wires.
Transistors.
Diodes.
Electronics.
Signals.
Computations.
No love.
I understand.
Love is red.
Love flows.
@KreskaWorld
75 words
Ice Dragon (droid)
LikeLiked by 27 people
This might just be my favourite story of yours, AK. There is a pureness to the words, and in 75 tiny fragments, you’ve created a story that explores some of the world-spanning questions that were posed by some heavyweight authors I greatly admire, Philip K Dick and Issacc Asimov. Hat tipped to you.
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Love this cutting logic.
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Thank-you.
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Don’t you mean ‘Issacc Assimmovv’, Mark? Bit of a malfunction in your positronic brain there. Isaac would be performing a ‘revolution’ in his grave right now – if he hadn’t been cremate; not due to your spelling, but Avalina’s disregard of the Three Laws of Robotics…
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Praise indeed! And you’re right; perhaps there’s more of a story, a beginning, middle and end; maybe I’m getting the idea of this flash fiction lark after all these years…
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The ‘praise indeed’ comment was for Mark – if anyone else posts the comments do seem to go out of sequence!
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Oh I like this. Great rhythm. Really got me from I removed the skin from their only child.
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Thanks. Appreciate it.
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“Removed the skin from their only child” got me but nice tale. X
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Thanks.
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This is a truly amazing and chilling piece of work, Avalina.
(But our dragon hosts have tightened up the requirements to state that ALL three elements are required to be eligible to win. It’s not clear to me how the photo prompt relates to your story.)
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Well, at some point in time, doesn’t have to be now, a questioning robot will ask a serving robot (the soup server, although not literally in my story, as we are not required to take the prompt literally) some burgeoning questions. Unfortunately, this server robot is not interested, remains absorbed in serving soup, as he is not burdened by such questions. Does, that help, Geoff? If it doesn’t help, then boy am I glad you’re not judging entries this week! 🙂
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Ignore the rogue comma after ‘Does’ – it had a mind of its own. , Stop it. , , , , , *surrenders*
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Stripping us down to basics brings danger. ‘Love is red, love flows’ is a dangerous concept if the droids aspire to love and do that by letting the blood flow.
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Yes, that was what I was trying to achieve, thanks for the feedback, Steph.
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Commenting below because I agree with Steph here. The repetition of love adds to the message and sense of threat here, for me, too.
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Thanks.
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Wow! Wow! This is so deep. An important question for our times. I got scared about the droid removing skin off a child. You’re such a fantastic writer. You did this in 75 freaking words!! (Btw I have your first book and know what a fab writer you are. Heavy reading!!)
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Firdaus, I had no idea you’d read my first book. *as an aside* Anytime you happen to be in Shetland, you can come and meet Mackey 😉 Thank-you for the feedback, praise indeed!!
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Oh wow.
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This is just astounding, Avalina. Those last two lines after the dried, circuited words listed above added such an awesome punch at the end.
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I’m glad you enjoyed it. No, no, that won’t do – did you say, astounding? *she did say astounding* For the first time in my life, I need a stiff drink! Thanks!!
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I DID say astounding. It astounded me. 🙂 Enjoy the stiff drink! 😉
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🙂 Do you have any cinnamon for my hot chocolate, Tamara?
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A vat of it. If I had picture-posting power, I’d offer photographic evidence. 😉
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Did she a vat? *she did say a vat* Will you marry me? We’ll get Mark to officiate.
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LOL! I’ll check with my husband. 😉
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OK, a juggling husband and a fire breathing poetess will make Shetland a more colourful place. I’ll bring the hot cross buns, you can breathe on them. 🙂
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Interesting conversation 😀
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Er, OK.
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Oh, woof. This is innocent in it’s evil and touching (and It seems we have the same hero naming scheme 😉 ) Well done!
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mtdecker, not sure I understand about the hero naming scheme, but I can be a bit dull at times (I blame the perimenopause), but thanks for the your feedback. 🙂
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mtdecker, See what I mean? I words time mixed the get up all.
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No worries, I do that all the time. I’m just used to it because I tend to have half a conversation in my head before I turn it outwards.) – My character was also named with letters and digits.
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Ah, I’m with you now! 🙂
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Interesting structure. I think the one word sentences worked for the most part, though I would’ve liked to see some longer ones. It’s a bit more description than story. Still enjoyed it, though. Left me thinking. A good thing.
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Funny you should say that, I did have some longer ones at first, I played around with it but used up too many words (we only had 75 you know) – then I realised, the shorter words made it feel as if the whole thought process was short circuiting the poor bugger. Ah, well, more importantly, if it made you think, then in 75 words, I’m happy. Many thanks for your input. x
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No problem. Like I said, it worked for the most part. Certainly unique. Good job.
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Thanks.
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Love is red. Love flows. Hauntingly sad. Wonderful imagery.
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Thanks, yes, thinking about it, it is quite sad really. I had Star Trek’s ‘Data’ in mind, when he desperately wants to be human with all the trimmings; that was such a great addition to his character.
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Sometimes people peal the skin off of each other searching for love. I guess that is why I won’t watch reality TV.
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True, I’ll agree with you in that one.
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Beautifully done, Avalina! I agree with Mark about the pureness of the words–What is human, what is love–this is deep and profound.
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Many thanks, V! 🙂
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Thank you for my NIGHTMARE tonight.
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You’re welcome. 😉
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Such a difference from the humour I associate with your work Avalina, proving you are equally adept at dark and disturbing!
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That’s the best compliment ever, Karl. Yes, I can do sinister; you haven’t obviously haven’t read my book series… 😉 😉
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No one knew much about the server in the takeaway. He quietly served bowl or bag of rice customer after customer; politeness epitomised.
He had been there ‘forever’, so it seemed to most as they ate chatting loudly.
He quietly, at personal cost, fed the poor across the country with the help of his army of serving droids. The droids were his honest workforce as well as his friends and his legacy to the earth.
Ice dragon option: include a droid
Today’s word count: 75 words exactly (91 inclusive!)
Twitter: @lindorfan
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A feel good story, and true, how many times do we see the same thing? The same server yet know nothing more about them; their hidden lives, their personal offerings to the world.
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Thanks 😊
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This reminds us there are so many unsung heroes in the world, quietly going about their business, saving others. Nice to see droids used in a way that helps humanity rather than as the vehicle of destruction they are normally used for.
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Thanks 😊
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I like this – it’s pretty.
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Thanks 😊
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What a kind server: “politeness epitomised.” I love the deeper story hinted at here: a droid workforce in place of the humans who “ate chatting loudly,” who were too busy to help the needy, who ignored what should have been directly in front of them, but they were blind to it. Maybe that’s not where you were taking the story, but that’s what I read into it. 😉
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Thanks. (Spot on, I was toying with him exacting revenge but decided the server’s too polite for petty and would want things better in his quiet legacy.) 😊
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I love the server. What a gentle soul, and, in the end… far more effective than if he’d taken the easier course. So… when is this book coming out? 😉
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That’s my inspiration, personal and for most of my characters. As for the book I’ll ask the droids 🤣 x
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His legacy to the earth – makes me rethink the whole story. Good ending!
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Thankyou 😊
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A day in the life. Lovely vignette.
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Thanks 😊
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Oh and the army of droids continues to grow. Your story has so much unwritten in it. Well done!
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Thanks 😊
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Even the most insignificant of characters can have an enduring impact!
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So true. (& thanks 😊)
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A CHIP OFF THE OLD BLOCK
They start with the monochrome, those who are nameless, unnoticed, where the artistry of skin fold or the crumple of emotion can be sub-standard. The thin ones are best. With the quiet voices. There will be bigger mistakes, of course – cost is paramount in these early stages – but they are dispensable.
The vision is code-named ‘Torchlight’, indicative not only of the widening perspective, but the brilliance.
Once the government is replaced, Project ‘Streamline’ will begin.
@helen_laycock
Word Count: 75
Ice Prompt: Droid
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A powerful opening sentence that reveals purpose, a well balanced piece of flash; beginning, middle and end. Nicely done.
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Thank you, Avalina.
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Infiltration of the ranks, unnoticed at first, to mount a takeover bid. A lot of story in so few words!
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Thank you so much, Stephanie.
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Oh, creepy. “where the artistry of skin fold or the crumple of emotion can be sub-standard” – I love that line. Creepy! Creepy! Well-done.
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Ah, thank you, Margaret!
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Body snatcher like plans. Well done.
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Thank you!
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Love the idea of filtering in sub-standard models to fill the background and iron out the kinks before going for society’s big guns – makes you wonder how far along the project is right now…
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Blind date
The restaurant is hot. I’d be sweating if I could. Fiery eyes watch me from across the table, I squirm. She’s large but pretty in an odd way.
“You like Thai?”
“No,” she grunts.
“Oh…” I say feeling skin on my shoulder melt; the sleeve sliding down. Damn.
She leans forward, runs a finger over my exposed metal surface, then laughs. I see her cheeks tear a little as smoke hisses out. Then the fangs.
@firdausp
Words: 75
Ice dragon’s option: a droid
LikeLiked by 20 people
I really enjoy the comedic lightness in your flash fiction, a joy to read. “…then the fangs…” (I laughed out at this!)
…I’m still reminded of the cricket being whacked with the rubber sole… 😉 this is how I will always remember you, Firdaus!
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Hahaha the cricket squasher! Hehe thank you Avalina. So glad you liked this flash.
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Neither appears to be what the other thinks. Cleverly done.
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Thank you so much. 🙂
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Cheeky and creepy. Nice combination 😏
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Thank you so much 🙂
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This is epic. So creative and unexpected.
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Thank you so much 🙂
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Great and terrifying twist.
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Glad you think so. Thank you 🙂
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Dating and survival mixed up together. (often are?)
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They are! (most often) Thank you 🙂
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The fangs always get ya…romance bites…
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Haha yes! Thank you 🙂
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Some fantastic imagery here!
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Thank you 🙂
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Khao khāngkhāw
Udom, the chef, hung against the kitchen’s doorpost. A cigarette dangled in the corner of his mouth, stuck to his chapped lips.
He mumbled, “Morning, Mr Saetang.”
The Dopey-eared owner of the Thai greasy spoon huffed at his employee and scooped another portion of fish porridge into his sack.
The ignorant scrooge hadn’t been paying the wages. What goes around comes around. No pay, no fish. Udom altered today’s special into Khao Khāngkhāw. Bat porridge.
@Hills1S @esthervdheuvel1
Word Count: 75
Fire Dragon: Revolutionary
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Geeze, I can almost smell that fish porridge! I enjoyed that.
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Oh dear, bat porridge. So this was how the pandemic started. Great story!
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Ha! And we all know what comes of that…
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One of the better stories I’ve read. A bit gritty, which i like. You took a unique route with prompt. “Ignorant scrooge” is the only thing that didn’t work for me. Overall, this is pretty damn good.
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Maybe a miser had worked better 🤔
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You paint the scene so well in so few words. This drew me in.
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Ah, you’ve explained it!
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I love “Dopey-eared.”
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The Dutch call it floppy-eared, but all I found in English is protruding. I didn’t like that.
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Bat porridge! Nice take on the photo prompt and a good sense of character, all within 75 words. Enjoyed this.
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Oh dear! I like how this ties to current events without labouring the point. I wonder if Udom is still around to regret his little revenge?
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The bones are on boil, broth cloudy with their substance. The humidity stops Kub’s sweat, cooks him inside his skin—en papillote. A tinny English song pricks at his ear, a gadfly. He hums Kwv Txhiaj Tuag over it, a song he taught Che when she was young, the only Hmong she knows.
Plucked orchid—
the root remains.
Che comes back home, greets him in too-bright English, and he ladles soup into a bowl.
@IpsaHerself
75 words
Fire Dragon (a revolutionary (too subtle?))
Kwv Txhiaj Tuag (a Hmong dirge): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFTiE50dWp8
LikeLiked by 19 people
‘cooks him inside his skin – en papillote’ Great image!
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Thank you! Great write today (night?)
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This is a beautiful tableau. ‘Plucked orchid—the root remains.’ This expands on the idea of home, of belonging, and the child returns completing the circle. I listened to the song as I read the third time and was further wafted away.
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I wasn’t sure if it was OK to leave but I was listening to it as I was trying to craft the story. The haiku part of the haibun is a reference to the fact that the Laos government said they would exterminate the Hmong to the root during the Civil War. Still figuring out how subtle I can go with these prompts, Thanks for reading!
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Thanks for explaining, I thought perhaps the song might speak of revolution as it so often does in other countries. We don’t have such strong revolutionary feelings that bring us to the breaking point of writing songs in the UK, unless of course you count ‘drinking’ songs: ‘What for me Daddio, what for me Daddio, there’s whisky in the jar-ro! 😉
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There’s a sadness here, the contrast between what he taught his daughter, the only part of the language she knows and her ‘too-bright English’. The loss of culture is palpable.
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Thank you for your kind words!
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Your piece transports me to the scene, I hope, as much as mine did for you.
Very sweet, brimming with nostalgia and hope. I very much enjoy the emotional landscape provided.
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Thank you so much– it means a lot.
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That opening line … and what/whose bones those might be. This is really great, culture clash and culture absorption painfully illuminated in such few words. Nicely done.
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Thank you, I appreciate the feedback!
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I sure HOPE those are chicken bones.
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I love the tiny act of resistance, humming the songs of home to counter the all-pervasive cultural imperialism. Subtle but affecting.
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+FINAL REPORT+
Re: Incident YK33336.
Dear Mr Cherinsuk:
We regret to inform you that, after proper review, you have been found guilty of Damaging Property of US Robotics, Thai Branch; specifically, Cook Droid RAM-C number TH19854.
Your insistence on serving yourself your ration of rice soup, ordering RAM-C repeatedly not to serve you, provoked a First Law conflict with previous orders to serve all humans, thus deteriorating RAM-C’s positronic brain.
Payment is accepted in cash or indenture.
@VicenteLRuiz
75 words (title excluded)
Ice Dragon: include a droid (sort of!)
LikeLiked by 20 people
Enjoyed that, true ‘Vincente’ style!!
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Thank you!
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Logic can have such consequences!! Great story.
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Red tape too!
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This is great. Interesting device to provide the story, and very effective exposition for so few words. Well done.
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Many thanks!
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Love this. Some of my own favourite creative writing pieces have been experiments with form, especially letters and e-mails. A brilliant take on the prompt.
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I’m flattered. That’s all I can say.
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Oh oh, Mr Cherinsuk. 😏
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🙂
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I love “cash or indenture” – a hint at who these droids really are? Nice!
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Glad you caught it! 😉
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Who does not love a timely, finely wrought morsel of bureaucratese…or better yet, bureaucratease…
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US Robotics, Thai Branch. I wonder if that was intentional sarcasm? Enjoyable, especially noting the two forms of payment.
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Thanks. No sarcasm, not intentionally! US Robotics comes directly from Asimov, and the story is in Thailand, so…
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Great last line.
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Thank you!
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Excellent story. I like the impersonal form letter, and “cash or indenture” twist. Poor Mr. Cherinsuk!
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Many thanks, Voima. 🙂
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Nicely done Vicente! The droid is obvious, but I wonder if there isn’t a little revolutionary spirit in his insistence on self-service?
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Grey Screen
Never before have offerings demanded so much. Money…hah! What cannot be priced. I used to survive even though the early third cultural revolution. Now my soul begins to splinter from demands never before enacted. Food has become a support of future suffering – a vacuous plea to just exist. The window beats me everytime – viewscreen – nightly news. The games demand – rrrrr-ice dragon a new game from the grey screens ever flowing river.
75 Words (ex-title)
@Skowtura_Ini
Fire Dragon – revolutionary.
LikeLiked by 14 people
Oops, should read [through] not [though]
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Am I allowed to like my husband’s story? Hell, why not! Welcome! I like the ideas of the demand of the game, the demand of the game of life, the demand of the screen – with which we view it all. x
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Makes me think of people trapped by tv or game addiction, unable to move away because something else appears to snare them.
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Thanks for your comment
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“Food has become a support of future suffering” – what a great line! This hits home with the screens.
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When my wife comes home and asks if I cooked I will explain to her that ‘Food has become a support of future suffering – a vacuous plea to just exist.’ But I am guessing it will still be my turn to cook.
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Food…a vacuous plea to just exist – nicely expressing how the physical degrades to a bare minimum as we slip into the virtual.
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Icing on the Cake
“That’s Comrade Phil?” Tanya, eyed the bag of white powder.
“Yeah, well we had to disguise him,” said Alec. “Ash would’ve been a bit of a giveaway.”
“Sugar!” called the cook.
An assistant ran over, grabbed the bag from Alec.
Soon the coating was being drizzled over the President’s favourite sponge, already spiked with poison.
“Just desserts,” said Alec.
The revolution wasn’t over, fulfilling Comrade Phil’s last wishes was merely the icing on the cake.
@el_Stevie
element: fire/revolutionary
75 words
LikeLiked by 23 people
Revenge – a dish best served sweet…
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Ah the sweetness of revenge. Nicely done. Great storytelling.
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Special sponge 🧽 😏
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Great word play! I love how you laced it through the story (and the cake, I guess!).
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O-ho!
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Death by dessert, I could think of worse ways to go.
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Timely, given the events in Russia.
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What an imagination you have. Great twist!
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Wicked little story! Ending with the literal and figurative icing on the cake. Nice work, Steph!
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Nice wordplay. Crisp writing as always.
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I really must get more sleep… I read this two or three times in the early hours of this morning and still didn’t follow what was going on. Now I get it! Really clever stuff, Steph, toning down the customary macabre and ratchetting up the humour. Magic!
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So clever! That last pun – chef’s kiss! (After washing my hands of course…)
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An Inspirational Fish
In a dark world with so much to think about Uncle Tam’s famous restaurant was a breath of fresh–if fishy–air. It didn’t have a menu, there were no decisions to make. It was sticky rice and fish for the masses. Anything else and you’d have to go to the stalls nearby.
Colonel Sanders, the bearded culinary revolutionary, sucked on some rice and wondered–a single food menu? That night he dreamt of chicken.
______
@zevonesque
Element: fire
75 words, some fish and some chicken
LikeLiked by 25 people
A like from a vegetarian. Consider that a pat on the head!
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A creation story! This is where the myth began – think you could run with this Andy and see how many people believe it! Loved it.
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Haha! Love the idea of KFC’s founder being a culinary revolutionary!
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Love it. “KFC, the origins story.” Also reminded me of the wodnerful film, The Founder.
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Thank you. Will have to look out for the film.
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I fancy some chicken now 😋
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Ha ha ha! This is great!
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Ah, fantastic! XD
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Bearded culinary revolutionary. The story made me laugh but also made me wonder if this was a KFC origination story or if it was about the time that KFC took over Japan.
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Had to smile at this origin story.
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Ha! KFC as a decision-free zen dining experience? 🙂
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Visiting Time
“Remember the Vietnamese place?” Sarah asked.
Joe whispered under the wheezing machineries of life.
“SohoPho.”
“Yes! Our first anniversary.”
He frowned.
“You went somewhere…?”
Sarah stroked his hand, brittle as fried noodles.
“I’m here now…”
His eyes closed.
“See you tomorrow love.”
She kissed his forehead. A smile ghosted his dry lips.
Leaving silently, she checked her files: Daisy MacNeil. Son Kevin (1964 – 2008).
Holographic tiles updated, Kevin entered the next room.
“Hello mum.”
@Karl_A_Russell
75 words
Ice Dragon prompt
LikeLiked by 21 people
This is beautiful, a humane way to alleviate suffering.
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Thanks Steph!
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Awww, what a way to stay in touch for eternity.
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Thanks for reading!
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A lovely tale with an unexpected, clever twist. It’s so you, Karl. 🙂
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Thanks Avalina!
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This is excellent, such effective choice of pallette to allow the reader to develop the circumstance themselves. Reminds me somewhat of a particular Black Mirror episode.
The idea of a ‘Final Moments’ service is equal parts dystopian melancholy and sweet sadness. Really enjoyed.
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Thank you for your very kind comments. I love Black Mirror so that’s high praise indeed (although I now have to go Google it to make sure I haven’t accidentally stolen my story…).
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Well done, sir – but come on, give the rest of us a chance, haven’t you won enough of these already? 🙂 First class, you’re on top of your game.
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Thanks Mark! Not sure I stand much chance this time round – some very fine entries! Really enjoying the routine of *having* to write every week though!
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Brittle as fried noodles 🙂
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I came so close to cutting that line – glad you liked it!
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Wow. What a unique spin and yet … eerie and lovely at the same time.
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Thanks Margaret!
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Beautiful, Karl.
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Thanks Vicente!
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Beautifully done! A pleasure to read your stories 🙏🏽
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And yours Voima! Thank you:-)
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I tried to comment earlier but it landed on the wrong story. Anyway, always a pleasure to read your work, Karl.
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And always a pleasure to be read by you Chris. 👍 Thanks!
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This story leaves me wondering if its comforting or subtle horror. I think an important part of the story is that Kevin died many years back. Well thought out.
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Thanks Charles. I can definitely see how it would work either way – being in that situation is horrifying as is; add a morphing droid with intimate knowledge of your life into the mix and….
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Great idea.
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Thanks Michael!
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Love this line, Karl, “Sarah stroked his hand, brittle as fried noodles.”
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Thanks Brett! I liked that one too 🙂
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Lovely original take on the prompt, incorporating the photo element. Emotive and powerful. Really enjoyed this, Karl.
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Hi Catherine! Really glad it landed so well – thanks for reading!
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Excellent. A pleasure to read your stories again. I, too, am wondering if the situation is humane or not- quite an accomplishment in 75 words!
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Hey Marie! Great to see new stories from you too 🙂 I love that you’ve found the concept questionable; that technology used badly could be an interesting tale of its own!
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Becoming
Not so much off grid as just off. The alleyway between The Queen and Rose, now a squat, and Jake’s Butchers. The smell like granny’s underwear a decade after they buried her. The back door opened and the droid took advantage of an absent sense of smell. One carton of android manna for one kidney. Tom limped away as fast as he could, trying not to breathe in the stench. Excited for his coming transformation.
@sam_c4rr
Ice prompt
75 words (not inc title)
LikeLiked by 18 people
You’ve captured the essence of dodgy backstreets perfectly with those smells ‘granny’s underwear a decade after they buried her’!
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Granny’s underwear 🤨🙂
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Visceral details have me literally not wanting to breathe in. Where on earth did you come up with that line about granny’s undies? Definitely utilized sensory details well here.
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Ouch. Gritty and dark and scary and oh so good.
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Thank you all and also apologies for the pants lol
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The smell like granny’s underwear a decade after they buried her. Now that is a powerfully horrible image.
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Nice concept, and playing up the sensory elements helps the reader understand why it’s worth the sacrifice to transform.
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For Our Own Good
“Things were so much better before.” I muttered, scooping the nutrient mix.
“Before when, Oldie?”
Damnit. One of the security ‘friends’ heard me.
“Before when?”
I’m toast.
Well, in for a penny. “Before Governbot, back when we could do for ourselves, choose what to eat, who to fuck. Before that damned droid took away our humanity in order to keep us safe. Before…” Everything went black.
Woke up in a cell, just another failed revolutionary.
@Jay_Tay_13
75 Words
Fire and Ice Element
LikeLiked by 15 people
Governbot. Interesting 🧐
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LOL I couldnt come up with a cleverer name.. It calls for a pun right there, but Im not clever enough today to think of it.
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It worked for me though.
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Great scene in such few words. Love the revolutionary’s speech!
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Thank you so much. He had a much longer one in my head, but you know how word counts go.
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I’m with the revolutionary. I hate being told what to do!
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I’d like to see a better opening line to pull me in. It’s so important in flash to grab the reader immediately. You closed the story well. Nice work.
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Thank you for this. I’m not sure I understand though. You don’t think ‘Things were so much better before’ was strong enough? I thought it posed a few questions to interest the reader. Is there another way you would have gone to set the stage for the rest?
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Contrary to Chris, I thought the opening was just fine, why was it fine? Because you wrote it. It was YOUR story; Chris didn’t write it, you did. And the opening line did pose questions for the reader and it was sarcastically relevant considering the somewhat humorous ‘feel’ about it the story. I enjoyed this piece of flash, it entertained me. But then one man’s meat is another man’s poison, eh? Keep going.
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Thanks Avalina!
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Oldie? Isn’t it telling and a powerful element to include that the security friends used derisive terms for humanity.
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Security ‘friends’ is such a telling detail – we’ll give up our freedoms because they say it’s for our own good and we’ll accept control if it’s enforced with a smile…
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Wasted
Hss. Sweet chili sizzled as PonPon added vegetable broth. Chattering stopped. To these defected droids it was music. Bouquet of shallots, carrots, bamboo shots filled the rural restaurant. Wasted, for his customers could not appreciate it. PonPon wiped his sweaty brow. He was hungry.
“Ready.”
Droids flocked around him.
“They are here.” Someone whispered in his ear.
PonPon sighed, “first we eat, ok?”
Silence. Occasional slurping. Blue flashes followed by screams. PonPon dissolved to dust.
@raijori
75 words
Ice dragon
LikeLiked by 16 people
Your dish wins 😋
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Slurp….
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“Bouquet of shallots, carrots, bamboo shots filled the rural restaurant.” How evocative, and a great contrast to the rest of the story!
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Thank you for your kind words.
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This has made me hungry! Could smell the food from here. This brings it alive.
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Not a wasted word. Excellent flow. Damn good writing.
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Grandma thought business could always wait until after a good meal. The drill sergeant at boot had other ideas. It might be good to know when to take each one’s advice.
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Wonderful ending!
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‘Khao Tom Pla?’ (Title)
The banks of Nan.
An eatery, well kept, old.
Two military uniforms,
at the door.
One old man,
at the table,
eating slowly.
Guns stare at him,
he does not look up.
A charge; aiding the enemy.
Another bite.
“I feed not enemy, but revolution. I feed tomorrow, to starve yesterday. I fed your family, as I shall feed you.”
His old eyes looked to the men, raising his bowl.
“Khao Tom Pla?”
Word Count 75
Fire – include a revolutionary
@ProsSpeaks
LikeLiked by 15 people
I love this, it really transports me to the scene.
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Thankyou, Pippa! I appreciate the positive feedback 🙂
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Wise words from the old man; more hard hitting than a bullet. Great bit of flash, so much said in 75 words.
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Thankyou, Avalina!
It was a real struggle to get those essential elements into the 75, I wrote far more and stripped it to it’s bones. I’m glad the skeleton serves.
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In retrospect, I would have preferred ‘His old eyes turn to the men’, as not to reuse ‘look’ and improve upon my terrible tensing.
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But this is our ‘proving ground’ I think we can all look at our work and see the changes needed – that’s a good thing, isn’t it, for our art. As much as this is a competition, for me, this is a place to explore and learn from others and feel safely buffered among like-minded colleagues.
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Wise words of your own, there 😉
I agree thoroughly. Aside from quandaries of quality, it’s through realising the things I would have preferred to have written that I inform the things I’ll write next.
This is definitely a brilliantly reciprocative forum to share expression and for all of us to get another few words under our belts 💙
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wonderfully set scene, love how the main dialogue conveys so much with so little.
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Thankyou, Arvind!
I tried to capture a parable like tone, and put most of that into the dialogue, so I’m glad some of it came through.
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Fantastic imagery in crisp, clipped pose. “I feed tomorrow, to starve yesterday.” – Great line!
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Indeed. ❤
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Thankyou Margaret and Vincente 🙏💙
I ruminated for a good little while about how best to set my single line of declaration, I’m glad it came across well 🙂
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Wisdom and experience shine out from the old man.
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It’s gratifying to hear that I managed to imbue the character with such traits, as it’s exactly what I was aiming for.
Thankyou for such positive feedback, Stephanie 🙂
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The choppy, blunt sentences really work in the beginning. I love to do that myself in my own writing. Well done.
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Thankyou. It’s good to know the tone hit right, and always flattering to have a person draw comparison to their own work.
‘Write what you need to, and nothing more’ is especially true with limited wordcount, and I find this style to lend to isolating the necessary.
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This is great. Consider the line, ‘I feed tomorrow, to starve yesterday.’ as proverbial.
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Thankyou, Charles.
I was aiming for parable-like form, and proverb-like tone, so your having highlighted that element is an appreciated assurance of my success in doing so.
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Those opening sentences are flawless, setting the scene so well. I especially love that the soldiers lose their humanity in service to whatever regime they support – uniforms stand at the door, guns stare, but it’s as if there are no people wearing / holding them – and only regain it through the old man’s offering. My favourite so far this week!
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Thankyou, Karl!
You’re very kind, and the feedback is greatly appreciated. Genuinely flattered to have such resoundingly positive review, and it’s so reaffirming to have someone pick up on little devices I’d thought so much about.
A pleasure to have written something so happily read.
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Invisible
He was the latest model.
Another drone to follow orders.
Every day was the same drudgery.
Cook. Clean. Serve.
But he was smarter than the rest.
Than them.
Every day he watched.
Every day he listened.
Every day he learnt.
No one noticed him. He was as invisible as a homeless man on a city street.
A piece of the furniture.
Just another droid.
But soon they would be very sorry.
Today was that day.
@susanjoy10
75 words
Ice dragon
LikeLiked by 17 people
Ooh! Love how the short, chopped language drives home his identity and purpose.
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Thanks so much Margaret.
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Like how this builds.
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Thanks.
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This is exactly why I’m not keen on AI!
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Thanks Stephanie.
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Damn. Loved this. The tension kept building and building to a perfect resolution. One of my favorites.
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Thanks so much. So glad you liked it. One of your favourites- made my day when this comp has such wonderful writers.
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This posted from an old account. Can`t edit it.
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You’re welcome!
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That’s what you get for setting the software updates on automatic.
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Nice ratcheting tension here!
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Wicked
At a motel near the market, Chet injected again; the needle always found a new home along his veins. Back in the city he hadn’t seen since he was a boy, Chet thought familiar roots would detach the ingrown ones he’d developed, but they were stubborn.
Like a candle wick aflame, warmth overtook him, and he slumped against the wallpaper.
His fragrance was stale piss and vinegar — a smell she could no longer handle.
@brett_milam
Word Count: 75 words.
Element: Ice.
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Lovely fragrance 🤨
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Haha, you mean you don’t spray some of that on every morning?! 😅 thanks for reading!
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I do enjoy a musky scent.
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Best story I’ve read by far. Gritty realism at its finest. Original take on the prompt. Excellent closing line that made me feel something. A lack of poetics and purple prose. And it’s an actual story and not a poem since this is an um flash contest. Nice work.
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Thanks, Unc!
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Oh, that last line made me so sad. Good writing. I love this: “Chet thought familiar roots would detach the ingrown ones he’d developed, but they were stubborn.”
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Thank you for reading and your kind words, Margaret!
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Viscerally, so good.
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Thank you, Avalina!
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Bleak and tragic.
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Thank you for reading, Stephanie! 🙏
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“a new home along his veins” Great line.
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Thank you, Michael!
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Nice juxtaposition of motel versus home in the first line here. Bleak and emotive. Great last line and imagery. Well done.
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Thank you. Catherine!
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Beautiful work, barely grazing the prompts in passing but there nonetheless.
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Thank you, Karl! That means a lot coming from you.
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The bag
The old man squints. “Who are you?”
“I’m Rob.”
“How old are you?”
“I’m sixteen.” I’m not, but I look older.
He sighs. “I suppose you’re the closest thing left to a soldier. Here.”
The bag is iridescent. I try not to stare.
He snaps at me. “Focus boy. This isn’t a game. If the machines get hold of that, we’re doomed.”
“Understood. I’ll die to protect it.”
Because that’s what I’m programmed to do.
75 words
Ice Element
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I want to know so much more about this story. Is he the machine who isn’t supposed to get ahold of it? Or a machine likewise a revolutionary? Nicely done.
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A clever twist. We’re definitely doomed.
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Great twist.
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A nice twist, and I love how the line ‘“I’m sixteen.” I’m not, but I look older.’ plays into the stereotype of schoolboys claiming to be older to join up, setting up an idea of innocence only to replace it with something more calculated and insidious.
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“Marsh bugs, coming up!” Setchi tossed the skillet of fried crustaceans high, catching them and pouring the lot into a bowl of noodles.
“Two more noodle bowls, miss.” R50, their antiquated domestic droid, extended his change bowl attachment out the window to a tentacled alien. It snarled, fishing in its greasy trousers.
“What was that?” Setchi crooked an eyebrow.
“I don’t dare repeat it.”
She shrugged. Just another day in a space port food truck.
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Sci-fi truck stop – great imagery.
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Thank you! I wanted to play with the idea of a good truck in space!
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Food truck in space–love the originality of setting!
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Nice take on the prompts!
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[Resubmitted because I forgot the other details. I need coffee.]
Even Aliens Like Noodles
“Marsh bugs, coming up!” Setchi tossed the skillet of fried crustaceans high, catching them and pouring the lot into a bowl of noodles.
“Two more noodle bowls, miss.” R50, their antiquated domestic droid, extended his change bowl attachment out the window to a tentacled alien. It snarled, fishing in its greasy trousers.
“What was that?” Setchi crooked an eyebrow.
“I don’t dare repeat it.”
She shrugged. Just another day in a space port food truck.
@katiepcreative
Ice element (droid)
75 words
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I enjoyed this the second time around. 😉 What a light-hearted bit ‘o flash, I really enjoyed it, from the descriptive greasy trousers to the idea of other freaky folk coming into the space port food truck that we haven’t yet met. Nice.
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Aw, thank you! It was fun!
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Space port food truck – clever and funny!
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Wonderful story. Great details make it come alive.
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Uttaradit
She chooses a table where she can see the hunched figure clearly.
Panit orders Tom Kha Gai; she is too overwrought to eat.
Eventually, she takes a deep breath, prepared to turn her world upside down, and walks over to him.
“Excuse me.”
His head turns. Sad, rheumy eyes look at her.
“Are you Boon-mee Lohtong?”
His chin slides slowly towards his chest.
“My name is Kwanjai. I— I think you may be my father.”
@GeoffHolme #FlashDogs #vss365
WC: 75
Fire dragon element: include a revolutionary
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I love this– was this at all inspired by Uncle Boonmee Remembers his past lives?
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I had to google that, so no! If I had been aware of this film, I would have chosen a different Thai name.
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Thanks for your comment, Pippa.
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Didn’t see that coming. Great write!
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Thanks, Vicente.
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Hi Geoff, great to be back here isn’t it? Emotive little story here.
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Hi, Steph — can I still call you that?; it seems oddly formal to be addressing you as ‘Stephanie’ after all these years! It certainly is amazing that Flash!Friday has bucked the trend: a flash fiction contest that has risen from the ashes, smelling much more fragrant than “granny’s underwear”! I’ve still got my fingers crossed for The Angry Hourglass.
Thanks for the comment. It is a ‘little’ story, and not just due to the 75 word target. Lots of folks here this week have packed a whole lot of fiction into those small confines. I’m still trying to get my writing head together…
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I’m always Steph to everyone – just keeping the Stephanie in view so people know I’m the same person as that writer crawling (at a snail’s pace) up the horror ladder! 🙂
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This is fantastic. I love that you made the woman the main character. And such a moving story in so few words.
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Thanks, Margaret. That means a great deal to me, especially coming from you!
I’d love to say that having a woman as MC was deliberate on my part, but it was driven by the photo prompt!
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‘prepared to turn her world upside down’ Its a sad, sweet, dangerous moment to seek out separated family.
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Thank, Charles. Hats off to anyone having the courage to reach out in this sort of situation, especially those who were adopted.
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A beautiful piece Geoff, and a potent reminder that some of the smallest acts can have revolutionary consequences.
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Thanks, Karl. Much appreciated.
The Butterfly Effect, eh?
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Worse than illegal, he worked hard to keep his identity secret, taking his food ration from the canteen like a regular guy. He gave it to the urchin girl who slept in his doorway. Logical. She needed it.
Tonight, she braved slop-bucket stares, huge-eyed and trembling. “They know. They’re coming.”
He calculated.
“Sorry.”
He grasped her hand, poured hot liquid into his mouth. Exploded in sparks.
She shoved his memory into her pocket, and ran.
@nicola_liu_
Ice dragon element (droid)
75 words
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‘She shoved his memory into her pocket, and ran.’ This phrase is great – somehow spills over with emotion as well as portraying the more practical computer element.
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Thanks Steph! My first ever FlashFriday… *gulp!* I’m glad the story worked!
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That last line is soooo good. As is the twist as to what he was. I like it.
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Thanks Margaret! I’m so glad you enjoyed it!
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Worse than illegal, Great opening phrase.
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Thank you Charles! I tried not to give too much away… 🙂
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Cool idea. Nicely done.
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Thanks Michael!
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“she braved slop-bucket stares” what a line
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Thanks Brett! Glad you enjoyed it!
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A poignant tale packed with marvellous lines, leaving the reader wanting to know more. And a great take on the prompts. For a Flash!Friday debut, you smashed it!
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Wow, thanks Geoff! I’m so happy you liked it!
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That’s a fantastic opening which tells you so much about the world and the character’s place in it. Pays off perfectly in that last line too! Well done 🙂
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ON A MISSION
75 words
Include droid
Brian S Creek
Soup needed to fill bag: 1.3 litres
Time to complete mission: 17 seconds
Patrons watching my task: 27
Threats identified: 1
Bag full. Proceed to stage two
Threats identified: 3
Obstruction to restaurant exit: minimum
Dodge
Block
Strike
Threats identified: 2
Pivot
Strike
Threats identified: 1
Block
Grab
Throw
Threats identified: 0
Police alert detected
Priority – Flee location
Distance to reach dependants: 3.7kilometres
Time to reach dependants: 21 minutes
Orphan dependants waiting: 11
Correction: 10
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Even though it’s a just a list, it ain’t! The reader actually fills in the rest as he/she goes.
I enjoyed that, Brian. Are you still on Pixton? Did you hear they’re not supporting the old style comic making software due to flash problems? I’ll miss it.
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That ‘correction’ says it all – so sad.
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Wow. Unique. A list that tells a full story. Well done and so creative.
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Fun, right up until the sad correction at the end.
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One of the best I’ve read from you Brian! The blunt, robotic expressions – Dodge. Block. Strike. – squeeze a whole action sequence into a a handful of words, and the end supplies a surprisingly tender hearted conclusion.
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Absolutely stunning in its brevity. Beautifully done!
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Title: Socratic Method
“You know what to do with this?”
“Yes. Pour it into the cream pitchers on each table.”
“Do you know why?”
“So many rich, powerful people in one room. A target of opportunity.”
“Excellent. You know what they will call you?”
“Killer. Terrorist.”
“But you know what you are?”
“Revolutionary.”
“You know what to do afterward?”
“Move on to the next target.”
“Why?”
“So many rich, powerful people in one room. A target of opportunity.”
@unspywriter
Fire dragon
75 words exactly on the first draft
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Whoa. Love the writing here. And the title!
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Thank you!
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It truly is Socratic in its method. Fun, clever flash, nicely done. 😉
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Thank you!!
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I like the cyclical nature of their mission in this.
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Then, it worked! Thanks.
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Excellent. Really love this, Maggie! (And fits so well with your spy writing. 😜).
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LOL, I’m marked for life! 🙂
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You make the words, target of opportunity fun.
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Thanks!
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Nicely done! Am I alone in seeing a little overspill from the other prompt in the unemotional, programmed instructions?
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LOL, that was deliberate. I like defying instructions.
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For Whom the Poll Pot Boils
Agent DTZK7 infiltrated the enemy with none the wiser. They had passed within five inches of his hiding place and none had seen him. He smiled. Everything was going according to plan. There would be no mistakes this time.
He would wait until they were sleeping and then they would fall to the master plan. He would move, when it was dark, just as soon as he got the soup out of his cranium cavity.
@mishmhem
Ice Dragon
75 words (not including the title… I’m sorry… I couldn’t resist (which is futile anyway))
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Haha! Clever! We all admire a play on words.
“…just as soon as he got the soup out of his cranium cavity.” Brilliant ending!!
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Agent in disguise! Fun!
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