by Rebekah Postupak
Carry that sentence on in—yes, lay it on the syntax table. CAREFUL! You’re dropping modifiers everywhere! That’s better.
All right. You’ve all seen a red pen before? Good. Let’s start by carving the baseline, shall we? Sloooowly. OK, we’re in. Don’t be embarrassed, ma’am; many experience nausea at the primary parse. Can anyone locate the subject right off? Regrettably, sir, that’s the object. Anyone else? Yes, there! Excellent!
Now observe my pen—sometimes one must dig around—ahhh, here it is, a nice, fat predicate. What, someone’s fainted? My apologies, sir; adverbs will splatter. Mind the puddle, then.
Young lady! I beseech you! Prepositions are not for chewing on!
Written for the weekly flash contest Microbookends, with its 90-110 word count window and incorporating this week’s photo (a messy spectator event) and the required opening/closing words of carry/on. Give MB a try! It runs Thursdays, the exact 24h preceding Flash! Friday.