Warmup Wednesday!

Directions: Write a scene or an entire story of 100 words on the nose (no more, no fewer), inspired by this photograph. No judging. All fun. (Normal Flash! Friday guidelines regarding content apply.)
Don’t forget to add your Twitter handle & link to your blog, if you please.

And a few words on how your week’s going would be lovely jubly!

 This week’s Warmup Wednesday challenge: Include a prank.

Chili sauce. CC3.0 by SA photo by MKAT.

Chili sauce. CC3.0 by SA photo by MKAT.

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82 thoughts on “Warmup Wednesday!

  1. Hot Head

    Frank grinned, “Let’s go water bomb Mr.Jones again!”
    I groaned, “The joke’s worn off Frank, don’t you remember how mad he was last time?”
    “Screw him!” He scooped up our carefully prepared arsenal and rode off.

    As we pulled up we were confronted with an unlikely sight. Jones was waiting for us. He lofted a water balloon of his own, “If you punks want war, it’s war you’ll get.”
    “Take your best shot old man,” Frank taunted.

    The first couple fell short, but one finally connected. Frank laughed momentarily, then he ran off screaming. All I heard was “hot sauce!”

    100 words
    @todayschapter
    https://todayschapter.wordpress.com

    Kitchen is finally sorted and we’ve just about found homes for all our random kitchen items. Couple of days later and it still took me 10 minutes to find the rolling pin! Finally started planning our trip back to the Uk in July for my sisters wedding, which is going to be super fun. I am however mildly concerned about flying with an 18 month old!

    • Haha! “Fun” prank. 😉 Good luck with the plane flight; I’ve never flown with the kids before; the last time I flew was when I was seven months pregnant with my oldest (which incidentally wasn’t much fun either, but she did stay blessedly quiet inside my tummy). 😉

      • Thanks Tamara. We flew with her last year when she was 7 months old and it was fine, she slept most of the way. Unfortunately now she is mobile and we can barely keep her contained in the living room, never mind a plane seat! 🙂

    • I can’t even imagine the agony! Definitely jealous about your trip to the UK!

      We traveled back from the Philippines with our newly adopted daughter last year. She was 2. We kept several “new” items in a bag that could be taken out slowly throughout the trip. (My cousin who is a missionary and travels between the 2 countries regularly recommended it.) Also, the take off and landing can be hard on little ears. Having her eat or drink during those parts will help. And if you need to walk the aisles, do it! People can just suck it up 🙂

  2. Jalapeño Peanut Butter
    (100 words)

    Frankie dreaded school. No, actually, his report card betrayed his love of learning. The minutes between 11:59 a.m. and 12:01 p.m., are what made Frankie’s armpits water like Niagara.

    Not today.

    Frankie couldn’t take credit for the plan. Reggie had come up with the idea. Leave it to a girl. But Frankie liked the plan, so he followed her instructions to the letter.

    “Gimme ur lunch,” Frankie’s nemesis said.

    “You really don’t want this,” Frankie warned him in all fairness.

    At a fist in his face, Frankie handed over his lunch bag and ran.

    Seconds later he heard the howl.

  3. IEDs for dinner
    @geofflepard 100 words
    ‘I’ve hidden gran’s specs.’
    ‘She’ll go potty.’
    ‘Nah, she’s always losing them. They’re in her button box. She hates buttons.’
    ‘I don’t know…’
    ‘It’ll be fine.’
    *
    ‘Did you find your glasses, gran?’
    ‘Yes, thank you darling. Clever of you to spot them. Silly me to leave them in the button box.’
    ‘Did you scream, Gran?’
    ‘No, darling. It was the plumbing.’
    ‘Are you behind with dinner? Not having your glasses?’
    ‘Oh no. It’s just soup. I can do that blindfolded.’
    *
    Following the howls of agony, Gran tested the soup and grimaced. ‘Oh dear. I could have sworn they were tomatoes.’

    Weather so lovely I dug the bike out and rediscovered various muscles groups.

  4. THE HOT DOGS (100 words)

    It was the Panama Canal of shortcuts. Jumping the fence and crossing Yasgur’s property shaved fifteen minutes off my walk to school. The only problems were the old man’s dogs. They were lightning fast fists of fangs.

    Plan A was to throw them some hotdogs from the fridge, but the two monsters gobbled them down too quickly and chased me back to the fence. I almost died, let me tell ya.

    But then I came up with a plan that worked. I stuffed the wieners with habanero peppers.

    That Pavlov guy was right. Dogs learn pretty darn fast.
    ……………………………
    Tough week. I had carpal tunnel surgery last November and it didn’t turn out so well. One hand (my dominant hand, thank God) is much better but my other hand has developed and new set of problems. I’m going back this week but am wary of the doctor because he appears to be about 15 years old. Think Doogie Howser. Fortunately, I can still type because I only use one finger anyway. I’m glad I never stuck with my piano lessons.

  5. Hidden Surprises
    Word Count: 100

    I try to act like I know nothing as my girls giggle at each other at the table. They’ve hidden corn in my mashed potatoes again. Last time they did that I almost threw up. I take a bite, careful to miss the corn.

    “Eeeew!” I say, pretend disgust written on my face. The girls burst out laughing.

    “Gotchya Mom!”

    “You sure did,” I say, a sly grin stretching across my lips as they both take giant bites of their potatoes. Their brown beauties widen in surprise, tongues extend out with an exasperated grunt. They reach for their water.

    “Gotchya!”

    _______________________________
    My week is quite exhausting so far. I did a long stretch of work. I finally have a day off today. Doesn’t mean I’ll get rest but at least I don’t have to wait on tables. 🙂

  6. Peppers and a Salty Tongue

    “Sweetie, I think this is a bit over the top.”
    “Nonsense. If we don’t nip his swearing in the bud, he won’t be able to travel.
    I’ve read where they throw tourists into jail for using foul language.”
    “I must have missed that newsflash, Erika.”
    “Mr Goldwater said it right. Extremism in the defence of puberty is no vice.”
    “I don’t think that is quite accurate. I’m pretty sure he wasn’t talking about force-feeding your teenage son with hot red peppers.”
    “Well Earl, parenting means making hard choices. Let’s go. It’s time for Timmy’s treat.”

    100 words
    @billmelaterplea
    http://www.engleson.ca

    Life on the Canadian West Coast is a tad cloudy today. A good day for writing.

  7. Tamara Shoemaker
    @TamaraShoemaker
    Word Count: 100

    Praying Mantis

    She’s fire, she’s ice,
    She’s crazy, she’s nice,
    She’s deep as a sea,
    A current to me.
    Spice and fire rage in her veins,
    Tart and sweet are just the same.
    Her eyes, their flame,
    They drive me insane.
    Her voice is soft,
    A siren’s call,
    I’m on a cliff,
    Ready to fall.
    She pulls me in,
    She’s magnetized,
    My dreams are all
    Now realized.
    I’ve loved, I’ve bled,
    Without her, I’m dead.
    That’s why I thought
    When she picked me,
    That I was lucky as could be.
    No one told me soon enough
    She likes her suitors extra tough.

    Apologies for the above. 😉 Today, extra emotions as I released my son for his first trial day at Kindergarten all by his lonesome self, and his cries were my tortured accompaniment the entire way back out the door to my minivan. I wonder if he knew that I cried, too?

  8. A poet’s creed

    I often theorize
    that it is poetically wise
    for poets to eulogize,
    to rhyme and harmonize,
    to even satirize
    human foibles; human cries.

    The world though a poet’s eyes,
    filled as it is with lows and highs,
    demands the poet not tranquilize
    the truth, nor sanitize
    nor perpetuate lies.

    Above all else the poet, wise
    and true, should never ever apologize.

  9. Older Brothers are Sadists
    @talithaarise
    Word Count: 100

    For me, the classic example is the Jelly Belly® affair. My brother’s job kept him stocked with the treasures. Sugar was infrequently allowed, so those beans were akin to desert oases.

    Eating slowly, he proclaimed their delights, but wasn’t sharing. So, I performed as any nine year old; I whined until our parents forced him to give me one. Very generously, he pulled out a “strawberry” bean. My favorite flavor! Unfortunately, I discovered “strawberry” could be code for “jalapeño”. I can still hear his laughter at my attempts to douse the raging inferno.

    And they wonder about my trust issues…

  10. Enunciation

    “Enunciate!”

    Mr. Ledbetter bellowed the tenth time. I tried to hit the high note, “Don’t cry for me, Argentina!”
    “No! No! No!” The frustration in his eyes was palpable. I was out; Julie got the lead.

    Now, I chew on my indignation as I watch the curtain go up. I spot Julie’s parents, their faces agleam with pride. Just a few more minutes, now!

    Julie hits the note on the cue, enunciating the words, her lips in excruciating pain, notes astray!
    Back in the green room, no one saw me smear her red hot lipstick with Argentina hot pepper sauce.

    @needanidplease
    Just for fun!
    theliterarynest.wordpress.com

  11. Title: All that Glitters is not gold

    “You have added chillies in this”, he pointed at the pizza without even taking a bite.

    “That’s just tomato sauce, Sir.” I explained.

    “If it’s red it must be hot. Are you trying to fool me?”, the customer screamed. My manager quickly intervened asking, “Can we get you a burger instead, sir?”.

    “Bring him our best steak Burger. Place all condiments on the side. He will choose what he wants” my manager sent me scurrying.

    I plated the burger. Put small dishes of ketchup, red chilli sauce, red salsa, yellow mustard and green wasabi.

    You should have heard the scream.

    WordPress: https://ansumani.wordpress.com/

  12. 100 words w/o title**
    @betsystreeter

    “Dude, blow them out.”

    “I can’t, man. They’re trick candles.”

    “Oh my god, the flames are really high! The box is on fire!”

    “You mean they won’t blow out? Ever?”

    “You GUYS! Get this thing out of here!”

    “The sink! Throw the whole mess in there.”

    “God, you guys. This is the stupidest cake ever made.”

    “I’m serious, the sink! It’s the only option!”

    “Pour some beer on it.”

    “Isn’t alcohol flammable?”

    “It’s beer, not lighter fluid. Hurry up!”

    “Wow, that’s gross. I guess we can’t eat it now.”

    “Too bad, I put chili powder in there.”

    “You suck, man.”

    ———-

    **Any resemblance to past behavior by myself or others is purely coincidental. No cakes were harmed in the making of this story.

    I’ve been bonking my head on a ridiculously complex scene in the second Silverwood book all day so this was a needed break.

  13. “No good layabout hubby,” she stirred the pot, then resumed chopping. “And his smoking drinking cussing redneck blue-collar poker buddies.”

    With the kids corralled and the card table out, his boozed-up buddies would soon be ready for five-card stud and five-alarm chili. “Thankless. Just crude language, cigar smoke, and non-stop flatulence jokes.”

    Her knife rapped a steady rhythm on the cutting board. “Not. This. Time.” The chili peppers went into the pot. Then, with a sinister smile, she retrieved a bottle, pouring it into the chili.

    “No fart jokes tonight,” she laughed, then threw out the empty bottle of Beano.

    * * *

    Wife and both kids are on vacation visiting my wife’s parents, so the house has been disturbingly quiet for the past week and a half. I’ve been running the dishwasher just to have the background noise.

  14. Emily Clayton
    @emilyiswriting

    Daddy’s Love

    The heat nearly knocked him over. Burning and scorching. A raging Scotch bonnet inferno.

    “What are you doing, Daddy?” His daughter, Kari, peeked around the corner, followed quickly by her younger sister, Nicole.

    A delicious smile wormed its way across his face. “Here, try this. I just picked it.”

    “Smells weird,” Nicole said, her nose curling in distaste.

    “No, it’s good. Tastes just like sweet peppers.”

    He watched as Kari and Nicole popped the flaming morsels into their tiny mouths. He watched their eyes widen, tears coursing down cherub cheeks.

    The lecture ten minutes later couldn’t halt his twinkling eyes.

    ———-
    Based on a true story. Gotta love dear old Daddy.

  15. @Caenys9

    Nice guys (100 words)

    Fred! Oh my God, what’s happened to Fred? Some chilis escaped the bowl trying to reach the spoon where Fred had last been seen. He’d been a nice guy, Renata thought. He was hot, but he wasn’t pushy. He had a firm body, ripe and ready to please. Then Fingers had come, plucked him from the bowl, laid him under the Nose. Voice said, “Aah! You’ll be just right.” The chilis watched in fear as the spoon carried him away. Now he was back, a warning that nice guys, though chosen first, get mangled, and left – reduced to a puddle.

    ********

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