SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU!!!! Thank you so much for coming back to throw your writing skillz into the fiery ring of competition here at Flash! Friday. I sure miss all you people the other days of the week! And I’m counting the minutes til all your juicy tales are in our grubby little hands. (Margaret rolls her eyes and says, Speak for yourself; my hands are soft and smell of roses.)
We’re now moving into the wonderful fall marathon season here in the US. I’ve never done a full marathon myself, unless you count the two halves…? heh. Anyway, I love running, and since today in 490 BC is the date usually noted as the Battle of Marathon, well, you see how I had no choice this round for both prompt and dragon’s bidding. And I hope y’all will appreciate with me the irony of a long, difficult endurance race as the theme of one of the world’s quickest, briefest writing contests. Isn’t it just yummy???
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It’s a pleasure to have as judge today beloved and familiar writer Margaret Locke. She begs you to pack in the emotion in your stories and make her feel things. Go beyond the obvious. (Dragons have wars! Martians have wars! Dystopians dream of wars!) Write cleverly, dear ones, as you always do, and win the battle of this judge’s story-hungry heart.
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Awards Ceremony: Results will post Monday. Noteworthy #SixtySeconds interviews with the previous week’s winner post Wednesdays. I (Rebekah) post my own unbalanced writings sometimes on Tuesdays or Thursdays. We are currently reworking the weekly schedule, but occasionally you will also see our feature #Flashpoints, in which one of your stories gets munched on (think chocolate, not vampires).
Now, grab your Asics and let’s get to it!
* Word limit: 150 word story (10-word leeway) based on the photo prompt.
* How: Post your story here in the comments. Include your word count (140 – 160 words, exclusive of title) and Twitter handle if you’ve got one. If you’re new, don’t forget to check the contest guidelines.
* Deadline: 11:59pm ET tonight (check the world clock if you need to; Flash! Friday is on Washington, DC time)
* Winners: will post Monday.
* Prize: The Flash! Friday e-dragon e-badge for your blog/wall, your own winner’s page here at FF, a 60-second interview next Wednesday, and your name flame-written on the Dragon Wall of Fame for posterity.
***Today’s Dragon’s Bidding (required element to incorporate somewhere in your story; does not need to be the exact word(s) unless instructed to do so, e.g. “include the name “Artaphernes'”):
***Today’s Prompt:

1896 Olympic marathon. Public domain photo by Burton Holmes.
Report from the Front
by JM6 (158 words)
This is Hemmings Pyle, reporting.
The fortieth anniversary of the start of the war is fast approaching. I’m here, covering the latest conflict between the three remaining battle-capable nations. Of the fifteen-man teams which started The Race for the Truce, only one runner from each nation remains. The others are all dead. Some stepped on long-forgotten land mines. Others perished from sniper fire by belligerent separatists unable to field a team of their own. Combat between runners accounted for the rest. Only these three remain, grim, determined, desperate. The prize for the winner is a six-week cease fire, during which the other two nations have agreed not to attack. It is believed that ….
Wait! There’s an incoming missile! The runners are diving for cover!
Folks, it’s over. We couldn’t see which nation’s markings were on the missile but the race is over. The war will continue. Repeat, the war will continue.
This is Hemmings Pyle, reporting from Marathon.
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Nice! Way to think out of the box. I would never have thought of that using that type of narrator.
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I like the new’s report style, great job and point of view on it!
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Nicely done … a really enjoyable read
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Really good angle you chose.
At first I thought the race would be to decide the outcome of the war but you made a good decision on it being for the cease fire.
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I like this – very original. Great way to approach the prompt. 🙂
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It’s always good to experiment with writing structure and styles – I think Flash Fiction is an ideal platform for it. Nice work.
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Good inventive take on the prompts – well done
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Great take on the prompt. Really like the choice in terms of narrator. Use of language tallies completely also.
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Enjoyed this, very apt for our times.
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Cool take on the prompt with the matter-of-fact news report narration.
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Very inventive take on the propmt. I enjoyed it.
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What a unique take on the prompt. Loved “the Race for the Truce” and the sad ending: the war will continue. Excellent story telling
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I love how the humor here has a bite to it. That it’s the 40th anniversary means they’ve tried for truce 40 times! Ouch. It reveals the dark side of human nature that although we recognize that peace is a worthy goal, one to strive for, that continues to subvert all attempts at peace.
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Hi, I am participating for the first time. Hope you like the short story and I meet the criteria.
The race of Life (160 words)
How long before I put my head to a soft pillow and sleep? How many more years before, I get a complete, undisturbed long sleep?
I started working at age 13 after I lost my family to war. I am 63 now. What has changed? What did I achieve? I have been working hard to make ends meet. At 13, it was survival from one day to the other. At 63, it is survival one week to the other. That is all that has changed. No family, no friends. Achievements include getting off the road into a ‘sleeping bed’ which I call home. ‘Sleeping bed’ is the bed I have rented that I can use for 6 hours till the next occupant of the bed comes in.
There is no more strength in my body, no will in my soul to achieve anything to win this greatest endurance race of life. I am looking up to the almighty for solace.
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Great first entry, a great large story with so few words, I feel like I just read a whole book!
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Welcome! A fine way to introduce yourself to the lovely folk that reside here …
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thankyou
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Great 1st entry and welcome. Be careful, Flash Friday is highly addictive (but in a good way). Hope to see more of your work.
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Sure, taking baby steps now
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Wow – a whole lifetime crammed into 160 words. Well done! You encompass a lot in a few words. 🙂
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thank you..
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Wow. this one brings to life images of isolation and abject weariness…
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Thank you 🙂
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Very nice!
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Hi there. A warm welcome to you. You’ve found a wonderful place to develop flash fiction. I thought this was a very well crafted entry, you should be proud. Hopefully see you again next week 🙂
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A very warm welcome to this wonderful community. You’ve certainly sprinted out the gate with your first story, beautifully written! You’ve captured an awful lot in just 160 words 🙂
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Welcome! What a great story. Beautifully written.
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Welcome ! There’s an amazing amount of depth implied in your story and very well done.
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Welcome to Flash!Friday. Powerful story told in so few words. Really well done. i hope you continue to be a regular.
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So sad, that the speaker strives so hard and whose only hope resides outside of life itself. The idea of a “sleeping bed” is intriguing.
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Thankyou. I had heard about the sleeping bed arrangement for migrant labourers.
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The Winner’s mistake.
155 words
@cylemmulo
The Bullet Run: they organized it like children toying with insects.
Me and Stykes were just lowly Staff Sergents, and I could tell this jackass Butter Bar wanted us to take the fall. He kept mentioning our “duty”. Too bad for him, my duty back home usually involved extensive running.
We lined up, an explosion of an RPG signaled our start. Assholes. We sprinted the tiny unused runway, Stykes and Butter Bar not knowing how to pace themselves.
I decided to stop tooling around and dashed ahead, I wasn’t about to take a bullet to the head for them, even if Stykes had a newborn back home, call me selfish.
They had strung finish line tape up ahead, a nice touch. The others about 20 yards behind, I noticed something on the tape. A device. That’s when I realized: they didn’t want to get rid of the slowest ones, they wanted rid of the fastest
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NIce twist.
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Coming out ahead sometimes has its own price, hmm? The twist is nice and thoughtful, and it makes sense within the tone of the story (which lend an organic feel to it). Bravo!
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Loved the ending.
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Oooh, nice. Makes me want to know why. Why do they want to get rid of the fastest? Can you finish the story next Friday? Pretty please? 😉
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So what happens Next! Great Finish…
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Love the ending.
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This flowed really well, Kyle. Like many others have mentioned, the twist is very good.
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Very good piece. Love the twist.
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Not bad for a ‘lowly’ staff sargent!
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Well done — that terrible moment when you realize, you’ve missed something very important.
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excellent set up and a twist wonderfully delivered …
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Very engaging, as others have said it’s a fantastic twist, a strong piece of fiction.
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Interesting twist.
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Great ending. Loved the RPG.
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Wow. What a great twist. Terrific story.
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Very nice!
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Loved it. I’m glad he realized it before he hit the finish line–maybe he could feign a Charlie horse.
This piece immediately reminded me of a small scene in “The Adventures of Baron Munchausen” when Sting”s character is sent off for execution for being an exemplary soldier–because his stellar performance will make ordinary soldiers feel inadequate. (For the younger generation, the same idea was played out more tamely in “The Incredibles”.)
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The Art of Finishing
Sven’s body moved measuredly, untroubled by the torments of the marathon. The cries of the spectators, ten deep, spurred him on as Wembley’s ornate arches crested the horizon.
“London 1948” flags fluttered from atop the cage ahead, soldiers thrusting bayonets within. The crowd’s energy intensifying as the cage sprung open and the newest participants spilled out ahead of Sven.
He dug deep, everyone else had fallen these last untermensch were nothing. Muscles responding, Sven increased his pace, passing under the archway, into the stadia, the finishing line in sight.
They were metres away now, a frantic maelstrom of shaved heads and tattered rags cloaking skeletal limbs. Sven threw an elbow as he went past, sending one sprawling.
Arms spread wide; Sven crossed the line to the pulse of photoflashes. A microphone thrust in his direction, the crowd quieting.
Sven paused, teasing back perfect blonde hair, raising his fist in triumph.
‘FOR THE FUHRER!”
The crowd’s euphoria made the stadia tremble.
160 words
@imageronin
#flashdog
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‘shaved heads and tattered rags cloaking skeletal limbs’ What a haunting image. Read this three times today and will probably read it again tomorrow. This is truly “showing” and not “telling”.
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Thank you Carlos for those kind words, was really pleased with the way the tale took shape (one of those ones in which the tale writes itself and not the writer!) and delighted that you found it interesting … best IR
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I’m always amazed at how you make me feel your stories. You have the ability to reach inside, grab a nerve, usually one in a very sensitive area, and twist, hard–the mark of a great writer. Well done. 🙂
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Wow, many thanks Tamara for such thoughtful and inspiring comments … a real ego boost … IR
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Oh this is great stuff. I too, tremble at the visceral power of this.
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And I always find myself swept away by your incredible knack with imagery and prose … thanks V x
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Brilliant entry IR. Has a mix of everything. Great writing and plot development. Awesome ending. #FlashDog
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I like Sven’s calm, calculated advance as he increases his pace, disposes of a competitor, then claims the victory.
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Hi Martha, he felt like a great white shark, slowly, menacingly moving ever onwards … thanks for the feedback … best IR
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Beautiful use of language. Haunting images. Well done, IR!
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This is very accomplished and powerful writing, I really saw the scene in my mind, the last three lines were just amazing, and again made me see the scene. Top writing!
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I love the name Sven. I’m a bit of a character name geek, love the unique names. Good story, IR.
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Thanks M, have the same addiction to finding ‘just’ the right name for my flash characters
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This story with its images of shaved heads and tattered rages cloaking skeletal limbs and Sven elbowing them aside as he passes them on his way to triumph is amazing. It is haunting in its power and beauty. The image of the crowd’s euphoria “For the Fuhrer” during the London 1948 Games makes it even more powerful. Amazing.
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Thanks Sarah for your supportive comments, really pleased that the imagery and alt-future London theme came across …
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Whoa, was not expecting that! I love how you lure us into gunning for Sven, guessing perhaps, he had been thrust out of a cage as well (even though on a second read, you’ve left more than enough clues that he isn’t). Then you smack our sympathies right in the face. Nice!
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thanks N, was very difficult writing for a character that epitomises everything that I despise … yet somehow I found myself enjoying Sven’s strident determination and passion …
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JOIN
Brian S Creek
152 words
@BrianSCreek
It wasn’t far now, thought Stefan. Just over the hill to the next town.
His brother ran on his left while his uncle ran on his right; each silent, each filled with an anger that pushed them on despite the agony. Their ignored their aching feet and dry lungs.
Stefan struggled to block the memories of the last twenty four hours but the sounds of explosions and the screams were too much. Families lost in the blink of an eye and his village now nothing but a smoking ruin.
The three men knew what they had to do now. Yesterday they had been farmers, but now that the bombs had fallen they had to leave the old lives behind and become soldiers. And while they could not defend their village anymore they would surely stand up and avenge it.
All they had to do was get to the recruitment office before sundown.
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This is like a slice out of current day news. Good grasp of emotion. I ache for them.
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Scary, good job.
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Brian, I think I’ll pick entry one this week. There is something about it which really captures the picture and had I not known about the background you could easily have thought this was the background story (looking at their faces and speed of running). Good luck.
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This is a terrific take on the prompt. These men are running toward danger not away. Well done.
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You make it plain how violence begets violence. It doesn’t matter the intentions of the bombers. I like how you gave identities to the runners, two different generations, compelled to react the same way.
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THE CONTEST
Brian S Creek
156 words
@BrianSCreek
(Sorry – had two ideas again)
“You’re going down,” said Stripes. “I am the fastest runner in the valley.”
“So,” said White. “I have endurance and will still be going when you are emptying your stomach by the roadside.”
Black didn’t say anything because he was a mute.
“You fool,” said Stripes. “My Mayor will have the prize of the most beautiful woman in the valley tonight. Your Mayors will be sleeping with pigs.”
“Ha!” said White but then he stopped to think about it. “Wait. Do we ever get anything out of this?” asked White.
“Not really,” said Stripes.
Black shook his head.
“Then why are we the ones doing the running?”
“Honour?,” said Stripes.
Black just shrugged.
“You know what?” said White. “I might skip this year. I’m going back to my farm and having a nice glass of red wine.” And with that he turned and walked back towards his home.
Black followed.
So did Stripes. “Is it far?”
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Really enjoyed it, great dialogue!
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A very interesting tale that brings to mind the old saying “What if they threw a war and no one came?”
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LOL! Such a brilliant lead-up of confidence to giving up and going home, I loved the way Black and Stripes followed too, didn’t take much to change their minds did it!! And the final line the clincher! Thoroughly enjoyed it Brian.
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Great! Loved the dialogue, the rhythm, the humour, everything. Well done.
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The Dreamer
Ian Martyn (@IBMartyn)
159 words
‘Leave me, Sergeant. Let me sleep, let me dream.’
‘Why? Because in my dreams there is no stench, no fear, no death, no cold damp misery.’
‘What do I dream of? Life, Sergeant. My life, when I used to run with two of the greatest friends a man could ask for. We were the best, the only ones who could beat us were each other. They’re gone now. Ypres and The Somme claimed them. I’m glad they’re dead and not maimed like so many.’
‘Yes glad, Sergeant. We feared maiming more than death. For then we might never run again, have to watch as others win our races. If I survive I must run for all three of us, carry them with me in each race. Then how can I lose, with the strength of three?’
‘Thank you Sergeant. In my dreams I run with them again, barefoot on dusty roads, for the sheer pleasure of running and friendship.’
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Beautiful
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Great story. Good use of the prompt.
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Very touching, indeed. Thank you.
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Such a sad story. Good job.
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Lovely! Companionship , Friendship and loyalty.
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very emotive and I particularly enjoyed the role of the unheard Sarge …
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Coo, such a great exchange between them. I like every line in this piece. …’We feared maiming more than death. For then we might never run again, have to watch as others win our races. If I survive I must run for all three of us, carry them with me in each race. Then how can I lose, with the strength of three?’… So powerful and probably very true. Gosh there some fab entries this week, everyone seems to be ‘extra’ inspired. Great writing Ian.
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Somber, but beautiful. Nicely done.
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Simple, sad and beautiful. Says so much about the price men pay for war.
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I like how your separate the war from the runners–the scene of running becomes the light in the darkness of war. You build so much sympathy for this character in so few words. I ache for him and the race he will run, if he in fact gets out alive.
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Price of Desertion
The motley group fled the camps; the sounds of their feet beating the road mimicked the retort of nearby assault rifles. Every man escaping was a deserter, but not every man fought for the same side. Those who started as enemies were now allies clad in agony, wanting only a moment of respite.
The dusty path led nowhere, but the band of men raced as if the gates of heaven awaited them. The long, miserable war was not a battle of strength but one of endurance, and their endurance had long been exhausted. The hunger and pain and suffering took a toll on their resolve until their broken wills could no longer bear the burdens of their nations.
They knew the price of desertion. The decaying smells of bodies piled high reminded them of it. The bitterly embattled sides always called a truce to execute the deserters. This time 26 shots resonated in the hills past the plains.
@goldzco21
158 words
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I love the phrase “allies clad in agony..” Very poetic.
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Very emotive last line. Stays with you after reading.
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Phew. Strong writing, well executed (scuse the pun) such a build up with so much angst – The price of desertion – great title for a great piece of flash Carlos.
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Clad in agony, indeed. In the most hopeless of situations, they still drum up enough hope to attempt an escape. That last paragraph is brutal: calling a truce to shoot the deserters–ouch!
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The Battle Looms
158 Words
@marthajcurtis
“Stupid bird! Can’t you take a break, already?”
One final coo, then all was silent. Too silent. Dread washed over me as moon light flooded through the window, illuminating two empty cots, one on each side of me.
I leapt from my cot and out the open window, stopping for nothing. Shoes will slow me down, anyway. No matter they left before me. The two figures zoomed in toward me as the space between us narrowed.
Stretching into the jump, I eliminated the space between us and landed between Philip and Juan. Now we ran as one—the battle lay before us—just over the next rise.
One final burst of speed carried us up the hill and propelled us over the top as we raced for the bunker and our weapons.
Back to back we stood, guns loaded. We walked ten paces, turned and emptied our airsoft pistols at each other.
Me one—them zero. Round two.
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Lovely–brings back memories of my sons and their epic air soft battles!
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That was great. 🙂
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Devious frienemies! Well done.
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This is adorable and refreshing and serious in the way only childhood fantasy playtime can be. Loved it!
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Great, Goes from the ominous beginning to a wonderful ending–child’s play.
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I love how on the first read, I’m sure they’re heading eagerly to serious war (maybe to have their enthusiasm quenched by the brutality of war). Only on second read do I realize the playfulness in the verbs which point to precisely this “serious” war between kids. Fun!
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No Surrender
He made sure to choose men from the places worst hit, places on which more bombs had fallen than there were people to kill, and where even the dogs in the streets were armed. Men who could endure.
Each carried a copy of the truce document. Communication lines had long been cut; this was the only way. But slowly, the King’s runners had fallen, until only three were left. The war raged on, but still they ran.
On a rubble-grey day, they rested. One of the runners drew out his copy of the truce. Sweat-stained and dusty, it sat in his hands like something already broken.
‘Can you read?’ he asked the others. They shook their heads. No.
Unfolding it, he saw his King’s signature. The rest was meaningless.
‘He chose his messengers well,’ he said. ‘Is it peace we carry, or eternal death?’
Silently, they buried the papers. They slipped, each alone, into the shadows. None looked back.
@SJOHart
159 words
http://sjohart.wordpress.com
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Great job. Haunting.
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Thanks a lot. 🙂
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Sometimes not knowing is safe, not playing is safest. Well done.
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Thank you.
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I love the descriptions throughout: ‘rubble-grey day’, ‘ more bombs…than…people to kill’. I agree that the ending is haunting. I found it unsettling (in a good way!).
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Thanks, Marie! I’m glad to hear that.
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Agree with other comments. Haunting ending here. Really nice work, well done!
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Thank you very much.
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Nice ironic twist. Well done.
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Thanks. I’m glad you thought so. 🙂
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Good stuff! The closing image is very powerful.
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Thank you. 🙂
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I love the turn on “choosing the messengers well”. So tragic!
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Thanks. I’m pleased you liked that part.
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I liked the line “where the dogs in the street were armed”, chilling.
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Thanks – I’m glad to know that.
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A lovely idea SJ, that no truce would be the outcome; I wasn’t expecting it. Really enjoyed it.
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The Enemy Within
by Rachael Dunlop
@RachaelDunlop
Pounding. Feet on sand. On gravel. On rock. Wince when a sharp point hits your soft sole. Wince, but don’t stop running. Hit your stride. This is war.
Breathing. It’s all in the breathing. Smooth it out. Don’t let the panic tighten your throat. You can do this. You know your enemy. Better than anyone.
Stopping. Why are they stopping? Man down. Can’t help. Swerve. Lean into the curve of your stride, let it lengthen, keep your centre of gravity low and push on. Push on.
Settle into it now. It’s beautiful here, you’d hardly noticed before, some day you’ll come back, and walk, not run, live in the moment, savour each breath, taste the air, stop racing against your own need to succeed, succeed, succeed.
But not today. Snap back into focus. You’re your own worst enemy. Remember that. And run.
And run.
And run.
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That’s beautiful. I love the short sentences. It makes me feel like I’m running, too. =)
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Wonderful way to separate the different parts of the story, great job
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I really love this, Rachael. Great use of stream-of-consciousness, and what a neat way to incorporate the concept of war!
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I love this! It’s amazing how so few words can bring me right there, running with him. Great job!
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So many reasons to adore this piece. I think it has an excellence chance. Congrats on wonderful work.
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There are times when doing physical activity that it takes a chant to get everything to work together… this captured that feel perfectly.
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Great sentence structure here. Pulls you right into the physical activity straight away. Great work.
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Great pacing (pun so totally intended) for this one: crisp expediency. You manage to give enough of character here, that I’m pretty certain the MC would never be able walk and merely enjoy this stretch, not with the enemy she carries around.
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Terrific. You can feel the pace of the runner. Feel his struggle to keep going.
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First – timer here! Hope I got this right! 🙂
Blood in the sky, blood on our fate
Our feet thudded on the sandy desert floor as we ran. Shy thorns peeped from the ground beneath us. The sky was blood red and the setting sun cast an orange light on the expanse.
Time was running out.
We had to get there before nightfall, or the villagers would be slaughtered in their sleep.
We ran until we couldn’t breathe. And then we ran harder. We ran with the fury of racehorses in their last lap. This was, in a way, our last lap. Then it would be decided, for better or for worse.
The edges of my vision began to dim, but the village was just a stone’s throw away. I didn’t stop.
I bolted right into the Circle, around which the ramshackle houses were built.
Then, my feet slipped. I slid into a pool of blood.
When my eyes closed, it was for the last time.
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Enjoyed this! Welcome to Flash Friday!
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Good story line.
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Welcome aboard! A very intense introduction!
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Desperate, heroic effort met with the sadness of futility, there are stories like this in the world, as well. It’s not all pretty bows and happy ending, even when we do give our ultimate all. Well done.
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Welcome! Intense story. I really enjoyed it.
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Oh, what a sad – but somehow inevitable – end. Welcome to Flash Friday! May you be very happy here. 🙂
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Perpetual Motion
(160 words)
and it’s the priest saying starter’s orders, we take off running past the cheering congregated crowd, towards narrow quarters, side by side, flushed, going in the same direction, breathless in each other’s company, dizzy with each other’s pace, rubbing elbows, until I carry extra weight and swollen ankles, and I we need to spread out through suburban terrain, my stout shoe ill fitting, you thrive, get up a faster sprint, these surroundings suit you, you see us bigger stronger, distance grows between us, on my slow motion legs I watch trees and traffic in time lapse, faces disappear from the crowd, distraction makes me lose my focus, but before I trip, burning hellfire blisters at my feet reminding me of the course, and you’ve waited up ahead, there’s an easier freer stretch I we with outstretched arms embrace, not finally our bodies wage war against us, we put a fight up for each other’s place, we are not finished yet…
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As always you’ve submitted a great piece of writing. This week I like the structure/format – certainly made me breathless, and increased the tension – perfectly executed. Well done.
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Thank you so much!
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Great format for your story here. Perfectly suited to creating the tale’s effect.
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Thank you. So glad you thought that.
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I love the way you can feel the pace of the runners as they take off. I could imagine the swollen ankles and the blisters. It was visceral and visual. Terrific piece.
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Thank you. Really appreciated.
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I loved this. A whole life in a piece of flash. Such a clever take on the prompts (you’ve been very good at that, this week!)
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Thank you. That means a lot!
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This is Suicide (But You Can’t See The Ropes)
156 words
He could hear them, could almost smell their rancid breath curling around him as he forced himself onward.
To his left, a runner went down in a screaming mass of shadows and limbs.
Blood splattered his feet, cooling the burn of his exhaustion for nothing more than a second before it was gone, soaked up by the thirsty earth.
This was no longer just a race. It wasn’t a chance to win honour for Queen and country. It was a fight for survival and the only way to win the war was to reach the finish line.
The thought made him freeze, his limbs locking even as he stumbled and fell to the ground. He could hear them milling around him, creeping closer but he just laughed. He laughed until tears poured down his face because he couldn’t remember being told where the finish line was.
They’d lost the race the very second that they’d started.
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This is good in such an ominous… madman kind of way that shouldn’t make me smile, but does.
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Great ending.
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Well done. Terrifying imagery.
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I like your twist on the story.
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very nice … always a sucker for the bleaker approaches to a prompt
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Awesome title and a good story.
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I love this. The rancid breath, the blood spattering the runner’s feet. The final realization he’d lost the race the moment he started. Haunting and wonderful.
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The Battle of Marathon
@Making_Fiction
159 Words
1990, London
“This is so much more than that song.”
“What song?”
“Tom-ay-toe. Tom-ar-toe. Pot-tay-toe. Pot-tar-toe. Who the hell says pot-tar-toe anyway?”
The Home Secretary knows better than to argue with the PM.
Prime Minister Howard stands proud and addresses this sacred home of democracy.
“Mr Speaker. They have gone too far. They’ve declared war on our culture. Our American cousins might think we’re pompous, sure, but we have a right to protect our heritage and what makes us this great nation. Today this, tomorrow we’ll be saying elevator, faucet and spelling things without the letter U! Sure it is just a chocolate bar, but our national identity depends on it.”
He holds aloft the Marathon chocolate bar that they want to rename Snickers.
They erupt in cheers. The vote won. Britain has protected her future.
The nation celebrates by munching Marathon bars, and dancing, and running through the fields, forgetting, just for a moment, that they are British.
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I love that last line… it’s just so… right.
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Lol. Love this. I was hopelessly confused when I lived over there and tried to spell competently. Well done, once again. 🙂
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That was awesome.
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HeeHeeHee.
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This tickles me. The last image-Monty Python!
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Simply splendid!
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Thank you so much for the comments. Obviously it’s just a bit of fun. But for those unfamiliar Marathon was a chocolate bar in the UK, the American owners re-branded it to fit with the global Snickers name. At the time the UK press were a bit funny about it. Its the first thing I thought of when I saw Marathon 🙂 Maybe I was hungry. Thanks again – M
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I still can’t get used to asking for a Snicker bar…. it will always be a marathon 🙂 …. Great take on a very challenging picture prompt …….
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Interestingly… Snickers now has an energy bar… Marathon…
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Love it! Hilarious. So well done. Your writing always flows so well. That’s something I’d like to work on.
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love it. solidarity comrade, solidarity ….
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Loved this, Mark! Made me laugh. Nice work.
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LOL! Really brilliant Mark. I really like the dialogue – very engaging indeed – and the idea of the Snickers versus Marathon is just such a great touch. Top writing AGAIN. (Is there no end to your talent? Let’s hope not!)
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Just the perfect touch of levity and fun. Well-done!
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Wonderful take on the prompt. The anglophile in me adores this piece.
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Hilarious.
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I laughed out loud at this… excellent, in every sense. Well done! Such fun. 😀
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My granddaughter asks me why I’m running in the photo – Was it for fun? Was I scared? Was it a race? I tell her it was a race and that it was also for fun. I was young, I explain. We did those things. She asks who took the photo. I examine it. Must have been your grandmother, I say. She asks if we were married then. No, I say, just dating, but I wanted to marry her.
My granddaughter takes the picture back. Did grandma run, she asks. I tell her that girls didn’t really run back then, but that her grandma was the best swimmer in town. I like to swim, she says, but I like to run too. She hands me the picture. I wish we could have run together, grandpa, she says. I look at the picture one more time, then tuck it into my pocket.
Twitter: @very_very_red
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Interesting take for the photo. Good job1
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very emotive and heartfelt piece, thank you
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I liked this piece, very believable exchange of dialogue, well done!
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To the End
@mishmhem
158 words
The trio stood stock still, waiting…
At the sound of gunfire, they ran. Whether they were running ‘from’ or ‘to’ ceased to matter. All that mattered was the path beneath their feet.
The three ran together, as they had every day of their lives. Their hearts raced as they reached the first bend in the road where everything would change: the view; their lives; their future.
Not one of them slowed.
They were running for the joy of it now– the promise of what was to come.
Sparse trees gave way to cresting waves, lonely paths revealed a gathering crowd and the road continued, and so they ran, each turn showing them what their lives could be if only they slowed down. Promises of glory, of death, pain and joy followed them at every turn until they reached the final straightaway.
Looking at each other they smiled and dug in. Only one could win, and this meant war.
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This is not only well written in terms of the words used, but it flows from start to end and I found it very easy to read. Could easily imagine the story continuing.
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“Only one could win, and this meant war” –brilliant summation of what competition does to a person! Nicely done!
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Lovely flow and pace. Great incorporation of the war prompt.
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RUN!
***
Run you dogs, RUN!
You’ll keep going if you know what’s good for you.
Number Three! No slowing down, keep up with the others or I’ll have your hide. Number One’s older than you and he runs as fast as Number Two. If they can do it, you can do it.
What’s that Number One? Did you say something Number One? Got something to say have you? Don’t mumble Number One, shout it out. What was it Number One?
Nothing?
Good, then shut up and run.
This is war lads; don’t let anybody tell you different. This is for your country, your people.
RUN!
FASTER!
Number Three, why are you limping? Got a stone in your shoe? Take your shoe off and shake it out, but keep RUNNING. What was that? Your ankle is sore? Want your mother to kiss it better? Well your mother isn’t here is she Number Three?
I’M here.
Now.
RUN!
***
@theimaginator20
155 words
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I really like this snapshot. It’s intriguing. (I wonder what age the runners are?) Great read.
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Thank you 🙂
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Mama told me to come away, to come back inside, but I couldn’t.
The first ones ran.
I stared, from my perch on the broken fence, as they hurried past, their concentration on the dusty road and their footfalls, not on me, a grubby child by the wayside. They ran so fast even my blistered legs curved below my torn skirts failed to move them. I winced as I changed position.
There were more, still running, always running, kicking up dirt and ash in clouds behind them as they hastened on. Then they slowed and I stared. Sunken cheeks, dull eyes, scorched rags, and blistered skin…like mine.
He was one of the last, walking, dragging, mumbling and stinking of anguished sweat. I backed away as he reached my fence, and I stared with mistrust in my eyes and escape in my legs.
“War is over,” he slurred. “War is over, my child…”
Tears streamed as my eyes met his. “Papa?”
(160 Words)
@LastKrystallos
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Wow. I didn’t see that ending coming. So sad. Well done!
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Love this. Beautiful.
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Wow. This is amazing and sad and beautiful. “I stared with mistrust in my eyes and escape in my legs.” So touching.
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I love the way you laid the story out. Great ending!
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So descriptive that I could see the scene and fancied I could smell it too. So powerful and the last line the clincher. Great work.
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This is very lovely in a melancholy way. Fight or flight is conveyed well and I could hear her voice with the last word, wavering as she said ‘Papa’. Nicely done.
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Oh, I love that ending. Really nice.
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Tamara Shoemaker
@TamaraShoemaker
Word Count: 160
Vain Race
One runs from fear, the monsters of his past slavering at his heels.
His father’s fingers press against his throat,
Anger distends his features, twisting, purpling, panting—
Daddy’s familiar face the scene of a monster.
Death from fear or flight to freedom? Nightmares cross the finish line first.
One runs from love, tears and kisses shrouded in but a memory
The taste of her lips haunts his dreams,
Shivers across the flesh of his arms.
Mea culpa, my Father. I have sinned in the arms of a married woman.
Death from vengeance or flight to freedom? A bullet crosses the finish line first.
One runs from death, the Reaper’s cold breath shimmering in the darkness behind.
The pain creeps into his lungs, pulsing, aching.
He inhales, and a knife slices down deep inside.
He coughs, wipes the blood that bubbles past his lips, speeds his pace.
Death from bleeding lungs or flight to freedom? Cancer crosses the finish line first.
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Love this! Normally I’d come up with some witty comment to go with my admiration, but I think this one speaks for itself. Beautiful!
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Why, thank you! Witty comment or not, I appreciate your compliment. 🙂
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Very haunting and moving. You really immerse the reader in their stories and make us relate each person to someone similar in our own lives. Very well done!
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Thank you, Brittni. I appreciate it! 🙂
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You’re just too good at this. Wonderful use of words and vivid imagery.
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Thank you, Mark! I didn’t feel very good at it today. Didn’t have my coffee. I’m glad that the words worked somehow anyway. 🙂
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Wow, all three finish lines give me shivers.
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Success! Thank you so much. 🙂
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Wow, just wow. I am blown away by this piece, really fantastic, engaging idea for the topic. I really mean it, really great work.
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Kyle, I’m so glad you liked it so much! It makes the wrangling with the words on Friday morning just . . . worthwhile. Thanks for the compliment! 🙂
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This is very beautiful in a sad, touching kind of way. Well done.
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Thank you, Mary! I appreciate it.
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Really powerful. So much to this with so few words.
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Thank you so much.
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So much here I read it twice. Stunning work, just stunning.
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Thanks, Avalina! I appreciate it! 🙂
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Wow, this is incredibly powerful! Excellent job.
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Thanks, Annika! 🙂
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powerful and moving.
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Thank you, Emily. I hoped, but wasn’t sure of success. I’m glad you think so. 🙂
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Beautiful and powerful images. Lovely piece of writing.
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Thanks, Sarah! 🙂
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Tamara Shoemaker
@TamaraShoemaker
Word Count: 151
Mirror Mirror
Who do you think can lose the race first?
Who’s got the form that sprints this path the worst?
Who is the sorry one who brings up the rear?
Who is the one that runs from her fear?
Who’s the girl who cowers from the fans?
Who’s got the milky flesh of one who never tans?
Who’s fat, and ugly, and pimply, and shy?
Who’s the one who asks the mirror, “Why?”
Who’s the girl that hides behind the crowd?
Who failed so many times to make her mama proud?
Who slits her wrists and cries out from the pain?
Who cowers in her bed and waits for day to wane?
Who is this girl who stares back at me,
Who reflects, just a moment, what all of them must see?
Who’s blind, it seems, to the heart that lies within?
Who thinks her true beauty is just another sin?
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wow. I have no words, just wow. Thanks for sharing.
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Thank you, Alissa. I appreciate it. 🙂
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I loved this too. Crazy good. Well done, Tamara.
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I appreciate it, Mark. 🙂
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Oh my. This just about brought me to tears when I re-read it. Not only was this interesting to read, but trying to comprehend it in light of the prompt, and in light of the girl’s perspective gave it so much power. Very moving.
Although, it also kinda of makes me rather concerned that you yourself are okay, and it isn’t just a reaching-deep poem of a hypothetical girl, but fully real to you. Personally, I often use a less extreme emotion to write something very deep and dramatic (and sometimes horrific). But as I don’t know you, I am unsure if you are just being creative or if this is a sincere current pain you are being vulnerable with. I hope not, but if so, find me as a friend!
Regardless, thank you for sharing this heart-felt art piece with us! Great job!
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Elisa, thank you so much for your compliments, and your heartfelt response to it. I thought about making a disclaimer at the beginning that it wasn’t an autobiographical piece, but was afraid it would take away from the “angst” that powers it. I do have some friends, some very close friends, who have struggled with these issues, who have cried on my shoulder because they don’t feel they have anything to contribute to life, who are just like the girl in the mirror. I can understand their internal war, and hopefully, in some small way, I can help them find the beauty in their own hearts.
Bless your for your kindness. Thank you for offering your friendship. 🙂
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In response to your response below:
Understood! You just never know, and therefore I have been taught it is best not to assume it is someone else’s struggle. I too have known people with the same pains and well, it hurts me for them. I am glad that this wasn’t your current struggle! Thanks again for sharing!
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Lovely writing. Talented lady indeed!!
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Avalina, you know how to brighten this lady’s day. 🙂 Thanks! 🙂
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Another wonderful piece! I think you’ve captured all of us in one line or another. Thank you for helping us to remember that everyone we meet is always fighting one battle or another. We must work to build each other up to survive and thrive. ❤
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Agreed, Annika! Thanks for your kind words! 🙂
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Great, just great!
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Thank you, John. 🙂
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Just terrific.
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Thanks again. I appreciate it! 🙂
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Refugee
@Van_demal
157 words
They didn’t ask for any of this. Every day it stuns me that they’re here, that they’ve even got this far. You tell by the dust rising. That’s always the first thing, then the vibration. You’d never guess a mob running could make a Jeep shake. Every day they’re thinner, but still they come. How much longer can they last? Another year? Two? Who knows how far down the road we are this time – it’s a guerrilla war we’re fighting, insurgency. It even sounds like a disease. And they’re the collateral damage.
You have to gun the engine, start the vehicle moving when they come else you get swamped. The hoard thins with every food parcel you dump, but they’ll chase until they’re sure there’s nothing left. Every day a sprint to feed their family. It never ends. Every day their prize is another day. Every day another milestone in the marathon.
And they call us heroes.
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So clear and true. Great writing.
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You really get a sense of time in this piece. “Every day,” “Every year they’re thinner” “They’ll chase…” Well done.
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Very emotional connection joining the reader to the world and characters from this piece. I also hear you had to rewrite, so it’s even more impressive. Good luck.
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This is so heartbreaking. What a wonderful take on the prompt. Just haunting.
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God. Another story so powerful and accomplished that I wish didn’t have a basis in reality. 😦 Sad, and affecting, writing.
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Marathon Of Death
We ran to spread the word of war, we ran for our lives. Lungs pumping like bellows, muscles twitching with exertion, every bone and joint straining from effort, we ran. No one had ever outrun any of the Plague Survivors, but we were going to try. We three had been chosen because we were all former Olympic Marathoners.
We paced each other, running steadily. Aethon stumbled to his knees. Ioses and I turned to help him.
“Get up Aethon, get up!” Ioses yelled. The ragged, shambling mob trailing us lurched closer.
“Hurry Aethon, hurry!” I urged.
“I’m trying Nikias, but I’m so hungry!” He panted, his empty stomach growling.
“I know, but They hate us! If we stop to eat They will tear us apart! We must run!” We heaved Aethon back onto his feet and started running again.
Humanity might triumph, but not without us Zombies putting up a fight!
158 Words
karnemily@yahoo.com
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Love that ending.
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HeeHeeHee! Nice. 🙂
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Love the twist ending, and ‘Lungs pumping like bellows’? Fabulous!
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Thank you,glad you liked it.
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Your Dragonyness, Could you pretty please put an “unbold” after the second They? Change the lower case “m” in the title to an upper case “M”? And change “aethon” to “Aethon”? Proffers chocoltae. Emily Karn
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Wish granted!
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That Old Idiom
@hollygeely
158 words
Steve tried to catch his breath but it got away from him. He dropped to his knees in the dirt.
“Hurry up,” Alphonse said. Levi was watching their backs, tapping his foot with nervous energy.
“Dude,” Steve said, and it managed to convey the depth of his pain. He hacked up a lungful of…something.
“You ate it, didn’t you?” Alphonse asked.
“So what? This isn’t our war. Humans shouldn’t be involved.”
Alphonse and Levi exchanged a look.
“They fed you the ‘nip, man. Once you eat the ‘nip you’re one of them,” Levi said.
Steve could feel it going to work inside him. “Help me, guys,” he begged, but it was too late.
He started hacking again and produced a ball of fur the size of his head. He looked up at his former friends with fiendishly yellow eyes. He swiped at them with sharp claws.
“Run!” Alphonse shouted. “Our only hope now is to join the dogs!”
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Entirely strange, and original piece, the last line about the dogs is great, fantastic job Holly!
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Thank you!
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@avalina_kreska
(160 words)
It’s not war it’s HARMAGEDDON!!!
…and it’s neck and neck for these victorious flab fighters, an astonishing TWENTY stone lost between them as they race for the finish and a well earned triple decker hamburger, humdinger fries with low-cal mayo, Anthony comes in at a new slim-jim weight of twelve stones, beside him, James, who confessed to eating sixteen filled bagels a day shifting a stunning SIX stones, his wives were delighted, finally, Mikey the Milkman, no, we’ve just lost Mikey, yes, to confirm, Mikey has a stitch, he’s out of the running, the battle rages on, Anthony and James, two amazingly determined men who…JAMES IS MAKING A BREAK FOR IT, BUT OH -MY -WORD! Anthony must have found some spare chocolate, AND IT’S AN AMAZING WIN FOR ANTHONY! Anthony, a software manager from Southport has…WOWSER, this is not a pretty sight, not sure I’ve ever seen a man fit a whole hamburger in his mouth, NO WAIT… AND FRIES…AND…
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Haha! This made me giggle. I love the radio announcer style! =)
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Thank-you Hannah! 😉
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Wonderful pace and humor. Love this!
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Thank-you!
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Love the humor in this piece. It made me laugh. Nice take.
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Cheers Tamara – yours were outstanding Tamara!
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I think I know Anthony, but he’s not from Southport. Highly entertaining. Nicely done.
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Hah! 😉 Thank-you Mark, your second name is very apt for writing accolades! Glad you enjoyed it.
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Very strangely entertaining, great job Avalina!
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I like the ‘strangely entertaining’ – thanks!
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Love it! Captured the frenetic dialogue of a race perfectly! Well done!
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Thank-you Adrienne – I was hoping to do just that!
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Good one Avelina. The gross out at the end had me smiling
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Thanks Tan. 🙂
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Nice take! Announcer style works really well as a tongue in cheek/fly on the wall commentary. Well done.
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Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks!
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All your stories have a great sense of energy behind them, and this is no exception. The commentary is brilliant. I loved ‘wives’, ‘Mikey has a stitch’ and the ending – but really, all of it was a treat.
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Marie – such a compliment!
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Let’s here it for Anthony the software manager and his magic chocolate. Too funny. Love the announcer.
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🙂 LOL. Thanks.
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I loved ‘OH-MY-WORD!’ – I could just hear the announcer’s voice in my head. Great idea and excellent execution.
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Thank you so much SJ.
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This actually made me hungry. until I got to the end. Once there, I started imagining a grown man inhaling food as he dripped with the wet fat he shed to be able to do it.
Suddenly, not so hungry anymore. So, you both primed my appetite, then killed it.
Haha, now that takes talent!
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Hahaha! Yeah, what a teaser eh?
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The War Inside
@_HannahHeath
160 words
Isabella’s controlling emotion was always anger. Not pain, not fear. Anger. And so she ran. Every morning she would run, run until her body burned and her mind numbed. Until she could feel nothing…until she couldn’t feel the anger.
She stepped out onto the asphalt and began. Right foot…left foot. Right…left.
She remembered reading the letter because her mother had refused. “We regret to inform you…”
Right foot…left foot. Right…left.
Gone. Just like that. And she had not felt sorrow. Only anger. Dad had died fighting somebody else’s war.
Right, left.
And yet her brother had run off to fight. Missing in action, they said. And she did not feel pain. Only anger.
Faster. Right. Left. Right.
The doctors told her she had cancer. Said it was too late to fix it now. No fear. Anger.
Go faster. Faster. Right! Left!
She had only…months. She wanted to…to win. To kill this anger. Win this war inside.
FASTER. GO FASTER.
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Wonderful portrayal of anger, it works well with the running theme. Nice work.
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Wow, this is heartbreaking and powerful. I feel so sad for her. Very well-crafted piece.
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Thanks you two! It made me sad while I was writing it, so I’m glad it paid off. =)
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Runners
For the first few miles he remembers the war.
He remembers the sounds: sudden cracks, distant shouts, belching mud, coughs, splutters, sobs, the metal clatter of their guns as they walked. He remembers smells: clay, mould, smoke, cordite. And with each blink he relives a vision.
‘Keep pushing.’
After that, once the crowds have fallen back and the adrenaline has caught up, he’s released and he’s free. The pound and rhythm of his feet beat it all away, peace and solitude reign. He sees faces: men he has forgotten, reconstructed in his mind and smiling.
‘Ease off for now.’
At halfway they join him, Abdul and Ikechi. They keep pace, whisper encouragement and say nothing of the war. They are just there, reunited, and beneath his feet the world feels balanced again and still.
They cross the finish line a trio, triumphant but in no mood to celebrate. When he has caught his breath, Abdul and Ikechi are gone.
@DHartleyWriter
159 Words
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Such a sad finish line, in every sense. Well done.
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Search Engine History
(151 words)
One Day Ago
Jelly pots
Balloons
How to decorate child’s birthday cake
Marathon registration form
One Month Ago
Keep on keeping on: A Marathon Mentality
Planning your one year old’s party
Two Months Ago
Basic guide to servicing a car
The Long Haul
Three Months Ago
Single parents’ forum
Eating for Life: Top 26 Tips
How Bad is Fad?
Can running actually kill you?
Key stages for babies nine months
Four Months Ago
Find hardware stores in your area
Pushing on through the pain barrier.
A Guide to exercise and child care
Does chocolate help you exercise!!!
Key stages for babies at eight months
Five Months Ago
Parents at war and the effects
nail files
plasters
Anti-chafing gel
Top 10 recommended running shoes
Key stages for babies at seven months
Six Months Ago
The Hurt of Separation
discount price running shoes
top tips on jogging
Key stages for babies at six months
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Neat concept! I really enjoyed the reverse placement, forcing me to read back through again to realize the full force of the triumph.
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Love this. Clever idea and well executed.
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Thank you very much.
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I loved this! Had to re-read backwards, of course, once I got the concept. I love how a such an emotional journey is suggested through such a basic thing as a search engine result. So out of the box!
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Thanks for that. Glad that emotional journey did show.
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Very clever use of structure, and great writing (as per your standard). I’m hopeful this will be in the running (forgive the poor pun).
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Lol! Thanks, Mark. That is so kind. And thanks very much for reading my two stories!
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I always look forward to your stories Marie and this week you managed to smack me in the face once again! Such an original take, so brilliant, I can’t say which line I liked best because I like them all and together… well…so bloody brill. OK, I really enjoyed, ‘how Bad is Fad?’ but then…
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That’s so lovely. Thank you. I hate exercise, so all the lines that are disparaging about it came easily!
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Love the reverse concept of this piece. Great writing as always.
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Thanks for reading and commenting twice! Really glad you liked it.
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So clever! I loved this. This story has so much in it, and I love that it takes reader participation to uncover all of it. So good.
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Thank you!
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“Surrender”
Hammlington
Word count: 160
He runs.
“Artaphernes! Brother! Has Miletus fallen?”
He’s always run. That’s who he is, what he does. He runs.
“Have we lost, then?”
He’s not the fastest, not the most graceful. But he understands what it means to run. There isn’t enough strength in all the world to carry a man over mountains, through deserts, across barren battlegrounds.
“Do they come in vengeance for our siege?”
Breath catches, muscles seize, hunger and thirst cripple.
But when he runs, he flies.
“Artaphernes! Where do you flee? If we failed at Miletus, we must hold the citadel!”
His breath weakens him. His muscles will not carry him. His hunger, thirst, fatigue only burden him. He relinquishes their hold.
“No, do not follow the man. My brother is dead. Come, we march for glory.”
He pulls free of himself, legs rising and falling with barely a whisper of a thought, his strength coming on the wings of his dreams.
“We march for war.”
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Such a large picture painted in this, great dialogue and visuals!
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Collateral Damage
@EmilyJuneStreet
155 words
The first blast hit at dawn. At first Zaj thought it was a storm brought on by angry Spirits.
Then the second blast hit. Fire speared the jungle trees. Monkeys screamed.
Tuam emerged from the family’s hut, wild-eyed, shirt unbuttoned. “Hurry, we must run!”
“What about Leej?”
“He’ll catch up.”
They raced down the rice-paddy road lined with empty, windblown trees.
“Don’t look in the water.” Leej fell into step with his brothers as they sprinted beside the irrigation ditch. “It holds evil.”
Back in the village, babies and mothers wailed until gunfire brought silence. A mechanical flying beast pummeled the sky, its blades stirring unnatural winds.
Despite his brother’s advice, the murky ditch drew Zaj’s gaze. He flinched and looked away, wishing he could unsee what lurked beneath the water’s surface.
“Who did this?” Zaj’s voice trembled.
Leej scowled up at the flying beast. “Ghosts. Cooked white ghosts who know nothing of the Spirits.”
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Tight writing and great world-building. Wonderful job!
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Very strong entry. Last line is excellent.
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Great descriptions here. Pulled me into the story’s world straight away. Great work.
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The Leader
@voimaoy
160 words
From the balcony, they could see the runners in the street, shouting the news. “Victory!” “Freedom!” Cheers went up in the plaza.
Enrique turned away, turned to his two friends, Andres and Jorge. They were grinning, white teeth in dark beards. We look so young, he thought. Why did he feel so old?
It had been a long time since the three of them were boys, running barefoot down the dusty street of the village. And one day, running from the village, burning, the day the Leader came to clean out the rebel forces. It was a Tuesday, he remembered. The sky was blue.
There were rebels in the hills. From that day on, they were rebels, too.
A knock on the door, the hotel manager with a bottle of champagne. “Vive la causa!” Everyone shook hands.
“To victory!” said Jorge.
“To freedom!” said Andres.
Enrique watched the bubbles rising in the glass. Was this what the future tasted like?
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I like how you capture the ambiguity of victory in the person of Enrique. The lesson is presented in such a quiet, unsettling way. That innocent-seeming question at the end bringing it all home.
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Thank you so much.
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Great character work. So much so that the characters in the pictures now have names and I feel like I need to put tags on them 🙂
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Thank you so much for saying that, Mark. Much appreciated!
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I agree that this is a great study of character. This is definitely something I would want to read more of. It’s a very perceptive piece. Well done.
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Great character work. Well done, Voima!
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You instantly throw us into Enrique’s world – nice reflections – the ending is perfect and powerful. An accomplished piece of flash.
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Great study in disillusion and a powerful sense of exhaustion and battle-weariness. Excellent characterisation.
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Thanks everyone, for your very kind comments. First attempt at focusing on characters, so I am glad you enjoyed it.
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The Winner
“It’s not about winning; it’s about taking part,” he says, shaking my hand.
I smile. Which, I think, is pitching it about right. Coz if you ask me, reciting the slogan of the Completely Non-Competitive Games to your fellow participants just says LOSER.
“Jim,” says my coach Sarah, “are you sure you’re really…erm…ready for this?”
“Hell, yeah!” I yell, punching the air.
“Ye-es,” says Sarah. “Well…don’t forget to check around you as you reach the finish line, PB or no PB.”
(Yeah. I’d lost focus in the qualifiers, and made a dash to cross the line first. If the guy I’d knocked sideways hadn’t insisted that it was “quite alright, really!”, I wouldn’t have made it through.)
“Don’t worry!” I grin. “I got this! Participation before ANNIHILATION!”
I walk off, whooping and cheerfully slapping the backs of participants around me as I go.
I glance back proudly at Sarah.
She is standing very still, with her face in her palm.
160 words
@Donnellanjacki
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HeeHeeHee… Some people just don’t get it… 😉
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You really are so good at dialogue, you just remind me of how useless I am. Really enjoyed it and lovely to see you ramping up the Flash Fiction again.
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Quarter in the Self-Deprecation Jar, please. We don’t allow that kind of talk (“useless”) here!
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Great piece, Jacki! Love the premise here. Dialogue is spot on too!
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Thanks for the comments! (I’ve already sentenced Mark to a night IN the self-deprecation jar for his remarks).
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You have my full support.
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Oracle
160 words
by Nancy Chenier
@rowdy_phantom
“Three runners from three different kingdoms,” my daughter says from the balcony. The sun washes her upturned face, her lashes flutter.
“Yes,” I say, pride and regret contend in my breast.
“The middle one counts his strides as stones his little son places on the window ledge. The left, as ebony strands of his lover’s hair.”
It’s her first Telling. Why couldn’t this one fall to me?
“The right”—her smile falters—”in drops of his father’s blood.”
She opens her eyes, grips my hand. Mine is cold in hers. She brings it to her cheek. I remember the toddler who lined up her own stones on the Temple steps. I need to be strong for her, for us.
“I’m ready, Mother.”
Ready to truth-tell? Or ready for what her first audience will do? There are no winners in war.
I watch her descend the stair. Then, I can’t stop the tears.
In war, truth is the first to perish.
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I love the world-building you put in here! Really well done. I want to know more! 🙂
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Thank you!
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I love the mythic power of this piece. And the last line…
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That’s kind of you to say, thanks!
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powerful! ” In war, truth is the first to perish.” That says it all. Bravo!
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I love the mother’s voice and that brilliant last line. This sounds like it could be a bigger story; it’s such an interesting world!
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A great take on the prompt, my favourite is the third paragraph – lovely writing – I really like the idea of placing stones, a powerful theme running through. Powerful story.
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Great hints at a larger world and a punchy closing line. I enjoyed this.
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Thank you so much, everyone, for your comments and encouragement. This is definitely, my fav weekly contest community.
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2161 Mars
Everyone was Ready. All 5000 of us. This was a race to end all races. To traverse the whole of Mars with just what you had in your Geo- Thermal Suit. At the end of the race there would be Three of us left, maybe.
All of us were from the top of our fields, Super- Olympians. Training for Five years in the rigorous Outback of Mars. Scientists who couldn’t resist the challenge. Construction workers, like me, who put this planet together bolt by bolt. Waging war on this planet , so we could call it home. There were also the adventure seekers from Earth, they were no threat , that I could see.
The Red Planet. Red as far as the eye could see dropping off into an ebony pit of darkness.
There was only one outcome for the race: Survive.
The three of us looked at each other as the light cannon shot off into the inky blackness signaling the start of the race.
154 words.
Lissette
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Lissette, I was totally engaged by this story, super descriptions throughout, I could really see Mars because of this.Top work and sure to be placed (well I would if I was judging!)
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I like how you used Mars–the war god’s planet–for the setting. (Did you know 5000 in numerology corresponds–via the 5–to Mars?). I like how the war is essentially against the planet itself.
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Press On
by Alissa Leonard
@lissajean7
160 words
The race for our lives seems a trite statement, but my heart beats out its truth, pounding in my ears, reminding me of life. Of her. I desperately navigate obstacles, crushing dreams beneath my own, leaving carnage in my wake.
I don’t have the luxury of losing. Melana needs this.
Her diagnosis hit hard, but we fought. Drugs. Treatments. Surgery.
Each labored breath reminds me of hers.
Nothing worked. Battle after battle, the doctors faces grim and determined. Until that last battle, when he came in shaking his head, tears in his eyes to match our own.
How long?
No.
Research. Phone calls. Hope. Experimental treatment.
Insurance won’t cover it.
Begging. Fundraising. This race. Prize money. It will be just enough.
I have to win.
My muscles quiver with exhaustion as I crush another. I look ahead; the way is clear.
Her love carries me across the finish line.
The war’s not over. Until her last breath, we will fight.
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This one struck home for me. Beautiful and sad.
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Thank you. And hugs. Press on.
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The “heart beats out its truth” grabbed me by the throat, and the rest refused to let go. The blending of hope and death is heartbreaking.
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Thanks so much! 🙂
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Agree about your first line here — compelling. As is the entire piece: visceral, sad, but familiar.
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Phew! Powerful. I liked so much about this piece but ‘her love carries me across the finish line.’ sums it up beautifully. Nice writing.
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You fill this story with so much longing for life. I like your short sentences that convey the need and desperation of the runner. I believe in her.
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Pain
John Mark Miller – 159 words
@JohnMark_Miller
“Pain is deception!” Luka’s coach had barked. Now he clung to those words as his feet pounded the dirt once again.
He willed his screaming muscles to fall into a steady rhythm, carrying him one more step… one more step…
His beloved city of Serres lay in ruins, causing his heart to ache far more than his feet. Greece claimed to be a neutral territory in this cursed World War, but that hadn’t stopped the Bulgarians from invading their borders.
“I feel like hunting,” one soldier had said. “Go dogs!” And as he fired his rifle, Luka had obeyed.
What the Bulgarians didn’t know was that Luka was fast – fast enough to compete in the 1896 Olympic Games – and that his hunting rifle was buried a mere twenty yards away.
By the time they took chase, he was ready. They screamed as the first soldier fell, crying for mercy. So much pain…
But pain is deception.
Luka fired again.
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Gave me a spine-tingle – which is a sure sign of wonderful writing. “Pain is deception” great phrase used incredibly well for dual meanings. Top work.
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Thanks Mark – you’re always so encouraging to your fellow writers…I really enjoyed your story this week as well!
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Go, Luka… This was great. Skilfully structured, and neatly tied up at the end with phrase repetition. Well done.
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Mind Games
Exhale. Left, right, left. Inhale. Crap! Pain in my side, pain in my side. Lift up your arms. Good. Okay. See. It’s better. You can do this. It’s just another day. Right, it’s just me and my buds, enjoying the air. We’re out stretching our legs. Kick out your feet more. Don’t want to have shin splints. Going to make Momma proud, yep, and Dad said I’d never amount to anything. Well, his angel son went and drown the family business. His whipping boy is about to win a medal. Scratch that, it’s just another day. Water, water would be good about now. No, when it’s over. You’re almost there, almost done. Ha! I see it. We’re going to win. Wait. Is our pace slowing? Stay with the plan. Bring our country honor with a three-way tie. Ah, that French dude is coming. No, screw the plan. It’s not just another practice day. Race day means war.
@meganbesing
157 words
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Nice piece with a great ending. 🙂 I can imagine him pushing through to the finish line.
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The urge to win comes through at the end! Great stuff. 🙂
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Runner’s high
No idea how far to go, how long I’ve been running. I look at my watch. Numbers are hazy, sand in my eyes.
They bombed the supply shed overnight, blew our hideyhole right open. Jeeps, food, everything. ‘We need help.’ Captain pushed the words out of his mouth. ‘You can run.’
Training runs were best, rock in my earbuds, reeling the miles in a silver thread, smiling at nothing and everything.
Every step I listen for a plane or the click of a mine. Nothing but gasping, feet scuffling dirt. Pain in my chest, blood in my shoes.
Got company. Can see them either side out the corner of my eye. One in stripes, one in black, pacing me. I put my head down, charge the hill.
They’re still there, but so is the outpost. Soldier lowers his gun.
‘Bombed…no casualties…supplies gone’ I pant. My knees give way. ‘Thanks for sending the runners.’
‘What runners?’
@lizhedgecock
157 words
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Wow. This is so good, Liz. Writing is very tight and incredibly tense. Loved the ending.
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Love the intensity. Fantastic ending.
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Great ending. I love the idea of the ‘phantom’ runners. Well done!
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@jujitsuelf
159 words
Nice Work if You Can Get It
“Run!”
I was already running, Ahmed and Ibrahim at my heels. Behind us the troll roared his fury.
The ground shook as he tried a few lumbering steps after us but trolls aren’t designed for running and we were experts. Case of having to be, the Humano-Troll war had decimated the troll population and the survivors hated us humans.
Ahmed gasped, clutching the stitch beneath his ribs. “D’you get ‘em?”
“’Course,” I replied. I was less out of breath than him. Ha.
“Can’t believe we did it,” Ibrahim panted, slowing down.
I grinned. “We’re gonna be rich.”
The stolen diamonds jiggled in my pocket. Trolls liked shiny things. So did I.
“They’ll feed my family for a year,” Ibrahim said. Ahmed nodded.
They’d feed us all. Stealing from trolls was dangerous work but if it kept my family alive, it was worth every second of bowel-loosening terror and every lung-busting run. On to the next one.
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Haha! I like your take on the prompt. Very funny, but also touching that he’s willing to face trolls to feed his family. =)
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Thank you for your comment! I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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Great take on the picture. Highly enjoyable read. Thanks.
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Very enjoyable, I like the fact that trolls weren’t designed for running. Great take on the prompt.
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Great! And a wonderful title, too. 🙂
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Tom Smith
@sunderland101
War On Fat – 160 words
“Look how skinny I am” The King stood proudly inside a pair of slacks that lived up to their name, holding the waistband out as far as his arm would allow, showcasing his weight loss.
“Why are you are still wearing them?” The journalist asked.
*
Sweat that once dribbled now oozed from their foreheads. What started as a wall of men and women, 100 hundred deep and 200 wide, was now a trio.
*
“You lose weight then decide to declare war on fat people, is that fair?”
“I’m helping the country”
*
“I can’t run…”
Phhtt.
Such an un-intrusive sound, the sound of a bullet leaving a silenced gun. Two men left.
*
“Helping? You make towns run all day to lose weight and if they stop you kill them”
“I’ve solved the obesity crisis, haven’t I?” There was no point arguing with him, he stood up to leave.
Phhtt.
Such an un-intrusive sound, the sound of a journalists girdle breaking.
“Shit”
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“…the sound of a journalist’s girdle breaking.” Oh dear. That’s not good. 🙂 This is a very clever take on the prompt! Nice job!
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Great title. The breaks really added weight to the little incidents. Fab ending! LOL
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Never Surrender
It was always the same nightmare. Grasping for breath, Alicia struggled with her I.V. pole, flailing her arms to signal a passing nurse. Her silent screams echoed only in her head. Her alarm clock buzzed next to her bed as he realized it was the same horrific dream. Breathing deeply to reassure herself, Alicia stared at herself in the mirror while splashing her sweat drenched forehead. She carefully attached her bra while avoiding the pink scars where her right breast once was. She fought the war against cancer and won. It was a bittersweet victory, losing her breast, but she didn’t have time for her usual morning self-pity. Today she had somewhere to be. Fort Wadsworth in New York City, to be exact. Alicia gobbled a banana and threw her Asics in her bag. She knew all about marathons but this one would show her old enemy that she never had any intentions of waving the white flag.
@peacesong464
160 words
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I find it so interesting how many times cancer has been a theme in several of the entries. This is a wonderful entry. “…that she never had any intentions of waving the white flag.” Well done. 🙂
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Thank you!!
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Such a powerful piece of flash! Well done.
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Thank you so much!
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The Dream
@StellakateT
160 words
It had always been like this, neck and neck. We’d won many races together, we’d even won battles. I remember Ashok begging my father that he’d look after me when we wanted to race in the Olympics. My father shrugged his shoulders and declared us both mad but let me go. I never saw my father or my homeland again.
We travelled to Greece; the journey was long and arduous but we each had a goal. We knew we would eventually die and be buried in this alien soil. The years between were good and plentiful. I married a pious catholic girl; we had lots of strong children. Ashok never married he said we were brothers in arms and we ran everyday together. The older we got the slower we ran.
We told all who would listen that we ran in Athens, we were Olympians but we never were. Ashok had the dream. I was just wanted to get away.
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A life painted in so few words – well done Stella
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Strong entry. I love the way you’ve used the voice to convey the feelings, emotions and dreams. Nicely done, Stella.
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Such a sad honesty captured here. That final line, ‘Ashok had the dream. I was just wanted to get away.’ a great ending.
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A touching final paragraph and a wonderful portrait of a lifelong friendship. Well done.
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Stella, this is a marvelous story.
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wow thanks 🙂 I appreciate your comments very much……
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It Is Enough
154 Words
Years of battle over an idea had dwarfed nations, slain charismatic leaders and laid waste to Earthly bounty. Before these last remaining ruins of humanity disappeared, another desperate idea finally appeared, one on which they could all agree.
A run to the death.
The strongest warriors of remaining tribes began a final test that would make Pheidippides weep with equal parts pride and dismay. A battle waged of sinew, sweat and stamina, as warriors literally chased death in the only measure adequate to determine the strength of their belief. As the number of racers dwindled, hearts were lodged in throats as minds were myopically unified on a single question: “Whose belief is superior?”
The final answer was found in the unexpected sight of the remaining warriors finishing the race unified, side by side. They nudged the world into reconciliation with a single word before death: “Enough.”
No final victor, only a victor’s final command.
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Excellent work! This is a very powerful piece.
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A powerful image to conclude on. Well done.
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Too Late
147
http://www.FCFLrailway.com
@fcflrailway
Five miles out five miles back, soldier. Full gear – boots, pack, helmet, rifle. Hour-and-a-quarter to get it done, son, so have fun.
No quit in me sir, no cheatin’ up there in the dark woods, no turnin’ back early or hitchin’ a ride with a girl, no sir not me sir I wanna live a life of danger, I’m gonna be an Airborne Ranger. Hard miles and lots of ‘em pick it up-two-three-four. Nothin’ back home in Loo-Z-anna but beets and I wanna see the world, I’m only seventeen and it’s already ’45 so Truman you keep this war alive. I’ve run too far to let the Japs collapse without me.
Hey buddy where you runnin’? Today we dropped the big one an’ you don’t have to go. Hop in the jeep, beep beep, beer to drink before we sleep, we’re goin’ home.
No thanks. I’ll walk.
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This is great! I read it to the beat of running feet in my head, which is what I’m sure you intended. I see into the head of this individual who wants to fight for his country and see the world, but is then denied the opportunity because the war ends. “No thanks. I’ll walk.” is a great ending! Wonderful piece!
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Thank you so much!
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I’ve read this a few times and the rhythm is fantastic. It’s such an original take, and it’s so thought provoking. It’s sad when things are so dismal at home that war is a positive option. ‘No quit in me sir’ – in my mind, he’s bought right into the propaganda. Really well done.
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Thank you. I tried to make the words “run.” It was fun!
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Enjoyed the pace/rhythm of this piece, it really works well.
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Thank you!
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Wow! This is language use at its best. It’s almost like jazz, or something – I was listening to, rather than reading, your words. Impressive!
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Thank you so much!
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No way back
@geofflepard 151 words
They said it was ten miles and he had to run. They said it was through the enemy’s lines and the war would not stop for him. They said it was too dangerous to drive. They said they would give him two guards, strong men, good runners, to protect him. They said he would be a hero. They said the princess and her family would die if he didn’t reach the town by nightfall. They said only he could save her. They said if he saved the princess and her family the war would stop. They said that his wife would love him for ever and his son would grow to be the most respected elder and the richest man. They said only his blood would save the princess and her family. When he had looked at his wife and seen her despair, he knew what it was they hadn’t said.
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Very powerful ending! “…he knew what it was they hadn’t said.” Nicely done.
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A suicide mission without directly calling it that – fantastic ending!
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Brill, the use of repetition so powerful – that last line. Gulp.
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I felt the pressure and stress on your character, and the weight of expectation, and the sorrow of his wife. Such an economical yet powerful tale.
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Running to War
158 words
We ran for the thrill of it, for the glory, for joy, for the lightness of the wind and the road. We ran singing from our homes, from our mothers and fathers and lovers. We were running to war.
We ran lightly, poor as we were, two hunting rifles, a pistol, and a butcher’s knife between us. Paolo’s father had given us what ammunition he had, a dozen bullets. “Twelve dead fascists!” Paolo laughed, blood filling our legs, our lungs filling with the sweet air of the countryside and the faint scent of gunpowder.
When we arrived at the battleground we found a graveyard of boys, fertile earth salted black by bombs and blood.
We saw a farmhand we knew, Sandro, his legs dead and useless.
“What happened?” Paolo cried.
“We’ve been routed, brothers! The fascists are regrouping now for another charge.” Sandro pointed toward home. “I am lost, but if I were you, I’d run.”
John Murray Lewis
@ozmodiargh
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Vivid images (rifles, pistol, butcher’s knife, faint scent of gunpowder). Also has a sense of history and makes the transition from idealism of war to reality of it. Well done.
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Thank you very much!
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Wow – such imagery, at once beautiful and terrible. Well done. Brilliant writing.
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WE ALL RUN
(WC – 159)
WE
ALL
RUN
i hear mumbling of unrest and war
we all run some way
Phidippides
ran a marathon
children running afraid
old women running anxious
old men running tense
we all run some way
too many times
young become soldiers
running only inside the fear
held in their innermost self
standing as heroes in duty
we all run some way
running soldiers of stone
side by side in unison
in lines on manicured ground.
running tears etch faces
six feet above heroes
sleeping in hallowed ground
i hear mumbling of unrest and war.
running on roads spoken straight
over hidden crookedness
selfish preaching disqualified
by the innermost self that makes others heroes
we all run some way
knocking
Phidippides
tells those who answer
of their soldier of stone
we all run some way
Phidippides
ran a marathon
running in the last breath of war
is an inexact message
joy to you – we’ve won
WE
ALL
RUN
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Full of images both cryptic and clear. Stunning!
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thank you,
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Nice use of repetition. Great work.
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Thank you Avalina
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This was excellent. I loved the rhythm, the form, the imagery and the impact of it. Well done.
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SJ – your comments are so much appreciated,
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What a turn! With such economy, you’ve shattered the idealist vision of war. The imagery grabbed me: “fertile earth salted black” “graveyard of boys” to contrast the “sweet air of the countryside”.
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Revelation
“What in hell did we do to deserve this?” panted the thin one, his dark shirt flirting with the ribs of his chest.
“Dunno,” wheezed the pale one, “but I am tired of them; tired I say!”
The man of wounds laughed as they ran.
“Always you laugh,” spluttered the pale one. “Why always you laugh?”
“Ha! I can tell you it is not because of our conversations, which are beyond the borders of boredom.” His feet described the incessant circle that kept him and the others running. “Both of you are so weak, compared to Them.”
“Them!”
“Them!”
“Yes Them. I laugh at Them because they amaze me with their inventiveness in finding new ways to kill and maim, and yet despite your best efforts we are all still here running this … this… this… ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!”
“What if,” hissed the thin one, “they just stopped killing each other?”
With a collective sigh, War, Pestilence and Famine stopped running.
@CliveNewnham – 159 words
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This one I like very much….. brilliant last line……. 🙂 In my book could be the winner…..
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Great dialogue. Very enjoyable indeed.
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“At War”
by Michael Seese
160 words
Serhan was at war with his lungs. His entire body, in fact. His legs were ready to abandon him. His heart threatened to spill over its cramped borders. His mind had long since seceded.
“The Olympics is war without guns,” their coach had screamed. Daily.
He had to win.
Serhan forged a hasty alliance with the rebels, and pressed on. Through painful eyes he spied Geōrgios, the reigning champion, slightly ahead.
The weary combatants trudged into a small grove, the finish line less than a mile away. Serhan and Meriҫ exchanged glances. Here, they had agreed in advance, one would trip Geōrgios. Then, “May the best man win.”
The unexpected happened.
Geōrgios’s knee buckled oddly. He crumpled to the dirt. Serhan and Meriҫ looked at each other as if to say, “What now?”
Serhan knew.
He slipped the shiv out of his pocket and buried it in his brother’s side.
“War without guns,” Serhan gasped as he sprinted to victory.
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Another good one 🙂 War without guns …..great line 🙂
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Nice. These Olympics make me think of the Roman games. =) Very good!
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I like the characterization of Serhan. He REALLY wanted to win. Good story.
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Holy… didn’t expect *that*. Winning at all costs, eh? Apt metaphor, and great writing.
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Silent Struggles
We have been at war now for a while, you and I. Struggling silently; fighting for precedence. Have come at last to know each other intimately, one with each other, as you coax me towards your finish line, sweat browed and queasy. I will not rush to get there. I know how this race ends. Still, sleep shuts you out, sometimes – until I wake again to light. Once more round the track, perhaps?
Our exertions have pared me to planes and edges; a featherweight run ragged by the battle; not yet down and out for the count. Not beaten. Not yet, my corporeal competitor. Not yet – though I lag behind a little, breath rattling. You are in front, back to me – a challenge in target. To reach. To move beyond. A marathon endurance without training enough to accomplish the feat, so it seems. I am no Olympiad, I know. Your path stretches out before me. Still. I crawl forwards.
(160 words)
@FallIntoFiction
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Beautifully written.
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Thank you!
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Very powerful. Read it a few times and it just got better and better. Congrats.
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Thanks very much, Mark!
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So poetic. Lovely.
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Very deep. Great descriptive writing, you captured the struggle, so much to like in this story.
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Beautiful writing, delicate as a feather, and I loved the hint of hope at the end.
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Josh Bertetta
142 words
@JBertetta
Brothers in Arms
We run because we ran. We had to. Not because of what we looked like, but what we thought.
Time drips slow now and sometimes water is heavy. Running brings rain to the land the clouds forget.
The land where the son of Eve committed the first murder. This land calls for blood and we shed blood. We have always shed blood in the land where brother killed brother. It seeps into the ground, feeds our trees, and fills our wells. Like water the blood evaporates, and condenses. The first storms were of swords and it rained arrows. Today it rains bullets and missiles and bombs.
We do not run to forget. We do not run from the past, for when you are born in war, live in war, and die in war, you can never, even when the storm subsides, escape.
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Breathtaking, the epic sweep and poetry. Amazing work.
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Thanks Voimaoy! What a wonderful comment 🙂
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Wow. This is beautiful! Such amazing writing. Great job!
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Thank you Hannah, that means a lot. I can be quite self-conscious about my style/voice, so your comment is greatly appreciated 🙂
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Clicked on your name and saw you’re on blogspot. I just joined this week…Like what I see on your end over there and will be following
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Wow Josh. Easily my favorite of the work you’ve done. Having said that, I seem to be saying that each week 🙂 Just shows how much you’re continually developing your Flash Fiction. Simply brilliant. In with a chance, hopefully.
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Thanks Mark; yes definitely beginning to feel a bit more comfortable writing what is a difficult genre.
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“This land calls for blood and we shed blood.” Fantastic. Lovely writing.
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Thanks John, I really appreciate that.
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Simply beautiful. Powerful language and imagery.
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Thank you Sarah. Your comment means a lot 🙂
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Lovely descriptive writing.
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Running Mates
by A J Walker
It was a plodding pace, but at least they were still going. There were just the three left now, the other unfortunates left far behind.
“Nearly there,” said Johan. “Don’t think about it.”
The other two said nothing. Trying to retain every bit of energy; such tiny margins.
Johan smiled at the ease of the run, his hobby coming in useful. He could keep up this metronomic pace forever.
Meanwhile Max could feel the burn in his lungs expanding like a supernova, he was struggling to gasp a breath. He tried to think of nothing, but could only think of raging fires and pokers; and stopping.
Stefan could feel his head rotating erratically like a broken whisk, but could’t help it and his right calf felt like a block of timber. He wasn’t going to make it.
Turning the corner the motley trio finally saw the check point in the distance. Only then did they all believe they’d make it.
(160 words)
@zevonesque
#flashdogs
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Yes! Well-done.
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Enjoyed the three guys very different experiences to the checkpoint, I like the use of the metronome for rhythm.
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Great use of the detail ‘check point’ right at the end, and effective descriptions throughout. Well done.
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The Endless Race
He could not feel his legs. The pain had gone beyond sensation now, to a realm where his brain could not, would not let him face the damage he’d done.
But still, he pushed on.
With every step, every yard and mile and completed marathon, he raised another dollar, another dime, another moment’s respite from the slow-waged war against his own rebellious cells. The struggle against a silent invasion, genetic fifth columnists turning his own body against him, was a battle he could not hope to win. Perhaps though, with enough running, enough awareness raising, he could arrest their forward movement, create a No Man’s Land around his lungs and hold the line.
Perhaps.
If he ran far enough.
Fast enough.
And enough people saw.
So he ignored the pain, the lack of feeling, the bleeding and blisters, the threats and promises of partners and doctors and friends.
The clear scans and the diagnosis of Munchausen’s Syndrome.
And he ran.
160 words
@Karl_A_Russell
#FlashDog
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Oh my goodness. This is beautiful, sad, and inspiring at the same time. I hope he wins.
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This is so good! Very clever writing.
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Really good, Karl. Very clever. Munchausen’s Syndrome is a very sad condition that you don’t see mentioned much.
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Captured the setting and the psychological toll of running beautifully. Well-crafted, sir.
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Wow! i had to look up Munchausen Syndrome—a real condition. Very powerful piece.
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Terrific twist ending. I just love the idea of this man trying to escape or maybe prove his own delusions. Well done.
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I like the teaser you give us in the first two lines to that great reveal of Muncausen’s Syndrome. Expertly you captured the pain and emotion.
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Oops. Munchausen’s.
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The Kotov syndrome
@dieterrogiers – 159 words – http://www.300stories.net
See them run, pushing the boundaries of their weary bodies.
Smell their toiling sweat.
Watch them suffer.
Somehow they have convinced themselves there is still time. If the messenger is intercepted, they reason, perhaps the inevitability of it all is suspended. Perhaps they, their sons and brothers won’t have to enlist in an unwinnable war. Perhaps their families won’t starve from hunger this winter.
Have they not noticed the machinery is already turning? Do they not understand that wars are not started or avoided by scraps of paper but by pieces on a politician’s chess board and that the sacrificing of pawns has already begun?
Surely they can hear the thunder of the cannons behind the hills, they can see black smoke rising? Or do they simply block out the impending conflict? Do they cling to fantasy, rather than acknowledge the reality of war?
See them run, still.
Watch how they delude themselves with visions of peace.
The fools.
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This is a very powerful and emotional piece. The ending is perfect! Excellent work.
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This is so powerful and sadly true. you pack so much emotion into just a few words. Excellent.
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Broody. Enjoyed it. Liked “Watch how they delude themselves with visions of peace. The fools”
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What Might Have Been in the Ditch
@EmilyJuneStreet
158 words
Paaj promised a kiss to the winner, swishing her embroidered skirt as she pointed out the finish line at the irrigation ditch. Three youths jostled to race. Kisses were scarce commodities.
The boys took off, bare feet pounding dirt, laughing as they ran.
Two strange figures stepped into the road from behind the lemongrass. They wore mottled greenish skins and shells on their heads. They grasped tools like hatchets but not like hatchets at all.
Paaj and the boys froze. Buzzing insects cut the silence.
*****************************
“Fuck this.” PFC Houghton stared at the teens. One was a girl. And those damned bugs never shut up.
“Sarge said no guns,” Caruso muttered. “They may look like innocent kids, but they’re militants carrying bombs or messages.”
He raised his commando blade and lunged.
Caruso slashed with abandon, Houghton with reluctance.
“Hide ’em in there. Quietly,” Caruso cautioned.
But the insects screamed as Houghton heaved a mangled body into the ditch.
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Impactful. True. Horrifying. Important. This was a great story, but I wish it wasn’t one drawn from life.
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*ugh..scare should be scarce, of course.*
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That’s how *I* read it! though kisses as “scare commodities” is quite a wonderful phrase too, heh.
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Thanks for changing!
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Snake in a Bag
Lucas sat on a metal bench in the vacant park, his familiar brown paper bag at his side. He welcomed the solitude birthed from darkness, when the shrill harmony of exuberant innocence was muted. He preferred the sights and sounds of his own mind, a mental reel of torment.
The tiny girl in a violet dress wearing her mother’s face. The squeak of chains as she was pushed high into the air, her extended legs carving the humid air. A blur of feet running on the dense grass, her ponytail bobbing as she chased invisible monster’s and mottled butterflies. That effervescent smile as she flew down the plastic slide, her eyes leaking sunshine. The high-pitched cackle of laughter when her finger punctured soapy bubbles as they floated towards freedom.
Lucas reached for the King Cobra and took a massive gulp of the cheap malt liquor. He marched into his war of attrition, hoisted a white flag, saluted his captor, and drank.
Chris Milam @Blukris
160 words
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Very emotional piece. I could feel the man’s pain and his isolation as he immersed himself in memories. I loved this line: “The tiny girl in a violet dress wearing her mother’s face.” Nicely done!
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Untouchable
The three brothers never stopped running.
When that beast took their parents, when he did those unspeakable things in front of their eyes, they ran and they ran and they never again stayed in a house long enough to call it home.
Later, when they were older, their relationships became a parade of anonymous faces, their jobs a succession of means to an end: to keep moving, further and further away from the horror, without caring where they would end up.
Sometimes they ran with their arms stretched out in front of them, their fists punching away everything and everyone on their path, three merciless bulldozers, trapped in another day long marathon of pain.
War was raging inside their head, them against the beast, so close behind their heels the foul stench of his breath made them nauseous.
They never stopped running.
@bartvangoethem
142 words
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This is so sad, but its powerful! I liked this line: “three merciless bulldozers, trapped in another day long marathon of pain.” Nice work!
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“it’s” (oops) I’m typing too fast, sorry!
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Wow. So sad, but so powerfully true. Great imagery and a brilliant use of the prompt.
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Death Throes (160 words)
@brett_milam
Alp didn’t have chest hair yet because he was only twelve, but he did have eleven pounds of dynamite strapped to his chest with coarse wire.
The sweat from his chest caused the stack to slip down near his waist and he’d hoist it back up like he was cradling a difficult baby with unparalleled collected rage.
He liked to sweat when he was chasing his younger brother, Hande, until mamma yelled at them both. But this sweat felt hotter, thicker. The dirt path fielded most of the sweat bombs.
Eleven pounds. Odd number. But for Alp, the more important number was three. The three words he was to say after lighting the fuse:
“Muradbeşte, bizim halife.”
The Ottoman Empire was in its death throes and Murad V would use the Olympic stage to suggest otherwise.
War was always egotistical.
Struck match. Three runners on the dirt path ran for a different reason now.
And Alp said his three words.
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Chilling. Love the sense of history, the inevitable, sad conclusion.
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Thank you!
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Thank you for the kind words!
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Chilling. Sad. Haunting.
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Such an engaging start, I was hooked. I like the use of numbers. Fantastic ending. Very enjoyable read.
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Many thanks, glad you enjoyed it!
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Sad, and powerful, and wrapped up in a tense and well-crafted story.
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Thank you!
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Fireteam Zebra
158 words (Judge’s entry and ineligible)
Corporal “Bulldog” Bautista’s body was a well-oiled machine. He strutted proudly along the mud-covered road, leading Fireteam Zebra on its daily patrol.
“Private Asim, you’re lagging! Are you tired of my scenic countryside already?”
“No,” Asim panted along on the corporal’s left. “Just… tired, Corporal.”
“Pick up the pace! We’re only halfway there — another thirteen miles before you sleep.”
To his right, Bulldog heard Private Bundok hopping along on bloodied and blistered feet. “What’s your problem, Stripes?”
“Corporal,” Private Bundok asked, grimacing with each pained step, “why can’t we have uniforms? Or weapons? Or food? Or boots?”
“Shortages happen in wartime. Get used to it — and never let an officer hear you complain.”
“There are no more officers,” Asim reminded him.
“No more enemy, either,” Bulldog agreed. “Shortages.”
“Seriously, Corporal,” huffed Asim, “we’re the only ones left. How long will we keep patrolling?”
“Until I receive orders otherwise, Private.” And the machinery of the military rolled ever onward.
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oooh, I like this! Military machine, indeed. Very well-crafted piece! Great job.
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LOL! “No more enemy, either,” Bulldog agreed. “Shortages.” Wonderful.
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A great story which works so well because the core of it is so painfully *true*. Great line about there being no enemy left due to shortages, and I loved the blind obedience of the military machinery.
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Ghosts
(150 Words)
They are coming, hearts poisoned by hate, fingers caressing triggers. Our families must be warned.
We cannot stop.
Rakesh thinks maybe they can be reasoned with. But there is no reason in a mind fueled by war. Bullets are their only reply.
We cannot stop.
Blood pools in our worn-out shoes. Their shouting is getting closer. They scream, boasting of what they will do to us. Our wives. Our children. If only we were faster, we could get there first. But their shoes are new, their bodies well-fed and well-muscled. The screams are closer still.
We cannot stop.
Sahil’s ankle buckles. His chin jars against the gravel and he screams for help.
I cannot stop.
Guilt and the sound of gunshots rattle through my brain. They are so close I smell their sweat mingled with the blood of my friends. My white shirt blooms red.
But we can never stop.
~Taryn Noelle Kloeden
@tnkloeden
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Wow, this is very powerful! “If only we were faster, we could get there first. But their shoes are new, their bodies well-fed and well-muscled” reminds me of a recurring nightmare that I had about someone very fit chasing me while I was exhausted. I just couldn’t escape. So this story really gave me chills. Nice work. Great ending! (Although luckily I always woke up before I got to that part.)
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This story gave me chills. The idea of being pursued by someone larger and more fit to the end is so very frightening. You capture it beautifully.
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Such a powerful sense of pursuit and terror – this was an excellent story. It gave me shivers.
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The Great Race (160)
In the end, it had been a mistake to send a brontosaurus.
Had there not been a state of war between the t-rexes and the velociraptors, the choice would have been easy. A stegosaur was willing, but there were fears he would forget the message by the time he arrived.
The burning thing had fallen from the sky. The ground shook. Smoke, flames, darkness—those nearest to the impact fried. Pterodactyls plummeted down in flocks. On the great plains, clouds of stinking gas hung low, making huge purple tongues of fog that crept in every direction.
By the time the lumbering brontosaur brought his news, it was too late. He perished, along with most of the dinosaurs on earth.
Millions of years later, his descendent, a hairless ape, would give a desperate race to deliver a message a name: marathon. He too died, but the meaning would be the same.
Run, damn it, run.
Death is what is chasing you.
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Um…I love dinosaurs…you had all of my favorites here! Nice take on the prompt!
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So unusual! I could really see the ‘lumbering brontosaur’ bringing the news. Fab story.
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Apocalyptic War
(369 Words)
It’s been five years. Five years since the scientists discovered a disease carried by moles. People called it rabies. but it was much, much more. It was the start of the war against humankind. Five years ago, people said that there was no way any apocalypse could occur. Technology was far too advanced for anything like that to happen. But once the moles were taken out into the open, they began to spread it. People got infected as soon as they were exposed to the disease. It traveled through the air, and the people who wore masks got bit and changed as well. The people who hid underground got trapped there, and died of hunger. The people who hid on islands were found, and had no way to escape. The only ones who survived were those who ran. The people who found life behind the wall. Those who were brave enough to venture out and get food survived. People like Marvin Quincey, on old Olympic champion in 2090, Shawn Fence, a personal trainer, and scientist West Trey. My name is Morgan Loui, I used to be reporter for the New York times. I’m going to tell you what happened to these three men and what they accomplished during this war against humanity.
They were the only ones brave enough to venture out into the world of what we call, the Inferior humans. Or just the Inferior. They brought us food and water, time and time again. But yet, Dr. Trey wanted to do more than just survive the war, he wanted to finish it. He got his chance five years after the start of the war. When he was gathering food, he saw an Inferior wrestling with a goshawk. The goshawk, a white and black bird that looks slightly like a hawk version of a snowy owl, struck out at the Inferior with its beak. The Inferior began its transformation into a small girl. Dr. Trey took her into the shelter of the walls and began testing. He did some testing and found she was completely cured of the disease. Now, for the first time in five years, things are looking up.
This is Morgan Loui 11/11/3000
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Such a creative story! I can imagine you had each character mapped in your mind and this word limit killed you! I like the poetic quality of the section “It traveled through the air….the only ones who survived were those who ran.” I am so glad you joined us, Reagan 🙂
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160 (or less) words will give you an entry to this competition but 369 words can get you something so much more… Maybe this is the start of something bigger? Welcome Reagan.
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Eagles Vs. Titans
158 words
@JamieRHersh
Calvin fastened the strap around the Milford Eagles’ mascot statue, then turned to his friends, Mark and Carl.
“Everything’s good,” he told them, “let’s start a war.”
The three friends grabbed the loose end of the rope and pulled.
The pulleys squealed in protest as the trio heaved with the rage of a thousand unavenged wedgies.
The statue toppled, landing with an anticlimactic thud.
Carl surveyed the scene they’d staged. Titan Blue paint on the steps of Milford High relayed the message: “TITANS FOOTBALL RULZ!” Toilet paper hung from the surrounding foliage. The Milford Eagle lie in three broken pieces on the school’s front lawn.
No one was going to suspect three scrawny geeks from the chess club.
The boys recovered their pulley system, and hid it in Mark’s garage. Then they ran, laughing, to Calvin’s house, to toast their victory with shop-lifted malt liquor, and to celebrate with popcorn and a Lord of the Rings movie marathon.
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Ha ha ha! “The pulleys squealed in protest as the trio heaved with the rage of a thousand unavenged wedgies.” Hilarious. I LOVE this piece! 🙂 …still chuckling… Thanks.
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Thank you 🙂
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HA! Really enjoyed it.NO-ONE suspects the chess club players…
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Thank you I’m glad you enjoyed it. 🙂
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Brilliant! So much fun, and totally fresh.
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Thanks so much. 🙂
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“Tracker”
By Adrienne Myshel@amyshel7 (160 words)
Surrounded by oblivious blue-collar guys and waitresses, the quartet lounged in the bar’s dark corner.
I alone recognized their tell-tale reptilian stench. I am the Northern Hemisphere Tracker.
World-Enders, they had begun with nine.
Trackers had been successful, but not enough. Now their remnants were here. Eretria, Michigan.
I grabbed my bourbon, left hand inside my jacket, and moved towards them.
They’d arrive in peasants’ clothing and run marathon across a planet, never stopping, adjusting to each terrain’s gravitational force. Their pestilent footfall wrought havoc, conflagrating territories, instigating wars, erupting earthquakes, crashing moons. When Mars ignited last year, cremating itself, scientists dismissed it as meteor.
The World-Enders meant to decimate our solar system.
Not on my watch.
Striped-shirt sensed me first. They rose, but I caught the slowest and delved my glowing left hand into his chest, immolating him. The trio blurred past me, and seconds later, I felt the Earth’s first tremble. At least I had saved our Sun.