This. Was. AWESOME. No kidding, tears of laughter on some of these. The students at Pataskala Elementary School will be so grateful to hear their deprivation was not in vain. Thank you for taking the time to leap with such gusto into the madhouse–you all are amazing. And hilarious. And, in some cases, a little bit scary (you know who you are).
DON’T FORGET that in just a few weeks is the Flash! Friday first anniversary BASH. Real prizes. More time to write. It’s going to be EPIC. Stay tuned for dates & details!
Judge Beth Peterson says, Some great writing was seen this week! I loved reading your stories, although you all made judging difficult. GO, Flash! Friday Writers!!! I especially loved how many people used their titles to grand effect this week — Well Done, ALL!! And for those of you newer to writing, Congratulations on taking the scary step into writing and sharing your flash fiction with us! I hope you enjoyed the writing as much as so many of us enjoyed reading them!! (And I can’t help myself… a shout-out to *both* my sisters for entering this week’s contest!)
Amy Wood, “The Cupid Adjustment Bureau.” Every time I read this story, it made me laugh. I loved the idea and the interchange between the two cupids was unexpected and hilarious – loved the wrestling!! I’d love to see the ending of your grin-inspiring tale strengthened even more. Maybe use that boisterousness between the cupids? But, like I said — you *already* have me laughing every time!
Sarah Cain, “Fountain of Change.” ROFL… Sarah, what a great concept!! I love that the water transformed people into what they were inside! (I’m a big fan of comeuppance, lol) The one thing that threw me was the time frame — it seems to me that the victims wouldn’t be nearly so far apart in time, and that Mrs. Berryman would have taken action a whole lot faster. Oh, Mrs. Berryman!!! I ~adore~ this character! You drew her up in so little space, and yet I have a clear mental picture of her in my head — Very Well Done!!
Charles W. Short, “Pressing My Luck.” Oh, Charles!!! Do you read a lot of Poe? I can’t decide if your story reminds me more of Poe or the Twilight Zone, but both are great company to be in! The one thing I might love even more would be if you would enhance the shivers to screeching level at the end, LOL — write a longer version and slow it down (especially now you don’t have to worry about 150 words!) and let us experience your MC’s desperate realization sinking in with its full weight of terror… and perhaps betrayal? Even though you gave me the shivers, I sincerely thank you for letting me read ”Pressing My Luck” – and the title is SPOT ON, btw!!
Laura Carroll Butler, “Don’t Question.” Laura, you have a very interesting premise and I really like the use of the Swedish phrase for “don’t ask” for the company name. Very diabolical…. And you made me squirm more than a bit! (In a you-got-me-hooked sorta way, which is what we all strive for!) And your idea is huge! I’m left with *so* many questions…. Who is behind all this? Why? What is their goal? Why aren’t the teachers affected, since (at least when I was in school) teachers often use the same water fountains? I would love to see this developed into a fuller story. I’m practically jumping up and down to find out!! I really hope you don’t set this aside; it has so much potential for a ~~great~~ tale – maybe even novella or novel length!! (Are you doing NaNoWriMo this year and need a story to write…?? hint, hint)
SECOND RUNNER UP
Emily Karn, “The Fountain.” 4 DIB (Dragons In Black!) I *really* love the way you use an official report style, Emily! It really created the atmosphere of the whole story, which I thoroughly enjoyed! Your take on the fountain of youth was brilliantly fresh!
FIRST RUNNER UP
Erin McCabe, “School Daze.” 4.75 Nastily Grinning Dragons! You made it *so* hard to choose, Erin!! I had such fun reading it! I was thinking how fun it would be if an apparently confused/innocent Paul – or even another character or the student body in general – were the designated witness(es), which might further build the feeling of chaos for the reader, as you reveal the chaos in each classroom. BUT…even without doing this, you wrote one devilishly fun story! (And remind me never to visit that school!…. Or at least remind me “Don’t drink the water”! *chuckle*)
DRAGON WINNER IS….
5 Mad Hatter Dragons! I love the subtlety of this story. The issue is never stated concretely, and yet we can all draw the inferences that create so much sub-text in this story. To be able to create that in 150 words is something I for one heartily applaud! You also somehow have managed to convey a truly strong sense of friendship and “group” with the HHC within these same scanty 150 words. Well Done!!
Congratulations, Ben! Here is your brand sparklin’ NEW Winner’s Page, a brilliant and superbly crafted dragon eBadge (below), and your winning Tale. Please contact me asap here so I can interview you for Wednesday’s Sixty Seconds feature.
In the end it was a good that the Hat Head Club drank our own water. Teachers just ignored us when we complained about the taste of the fountain. It was Monday and the HHC was meeting near the fountain. All five of us wearing our crazy, custom knitted hats and watching the gym class let out, each kid taking turns gulping the water, making a face, and turning away.
Sarah gave us the new hats she had finished. Mine was an owl! She knew it was my favorite. Jenny got the three eyed alien, Sasha the panda, and Mica now had spiky, yellow, yarn hair. We giggled over our new prizes, fawning over Sarah’s gifts. Then Mica’s face turned serious as she covertly handed us each a bottle of water like it was contraband. We nodded solemnly reminded of the reason for our hats, our solidarity with Mica’s baldness.